Last Friday I met with a social worker and said I can't cope any more. My husband is incontinent but doesn't want to be washed and gets aggressive with me if I try to help him to change his trousers so really it needs 2 people to sort him out. Inevitably he soils himself when the carer has just left and sometimes it can take hours before he let's me help him. The social worker is hoping to sort out a respite placement for him with the possibility that it might become a permanent move. Since the meeting he has been quiet and calm so now I'm feeling so guilty at the thought of sending him away. A care home would be his worst nightmare. He always said he'd prefer to take a load of sleeping pills rather than end up the way his mum went. After 51 years of marriage he may only have a few nights left together and I can't escape the idea that I'm betraying him