hi new to this i carer for mum 91 deaf -alzheimers as catheter carer for 8yrs need a rest for the first time 2weeks in sept now how do i tell mum she can be angry and NASTY do i go or not the fall out I know will be bad i do need the rest i have osteoarthritis the pain v/bad/depression/asthma/high bloodpressure help
lake como
- Thread starter lake como
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A very positive 'yes you must go' from me. It is hard but your well being is important not just for you but for your Mother too. You need to avoid a break down which is very likely if you do not have a break.
Try to get someone else to actually transport your Mother to the place of respite, a friend or taxi. It is less likely she will make a fuss in front of them, and even if she does you will have someone else there to understand. I suggest you do not tell her until the last minute, even discreetly packing up her clothes etc.
My SW was not the sort but some will actually take this on and take the sufferer into care on your behalf, even on pretence of going to a hotel for lunch, the day, or whatever white lie suits.
So please do not back out and let us know how it goes.
Try to get someone else to actually transport your Mother to the place of respite, a friend or taxi. It is less likely she will make a fuss in front of them, and even if she does you will have someone else there to understand. I suggest you do not tell her until the last minute, even discreetly packing up her clothes etc.
My SW was not the sort but some will actually take this on and take the sufferer into care on your behalf, even on pretence of going to a hotel for lunch, the day, or whatever white lie suits.
So please do not back out and let us know how it goes.
Holiday is a must
The temptation to give in is great but for you and your well being please, please take that break. It sounds as if you have earnt it a million times. It also sounds as if you should build in a similar break several times a year if practical. i feel for you X
The temptation to give in is great but for you and your well being please, please take that break. It sounds as if you have earnt it a million times. It also sounds as if you should build in a similar break several times a year if practical. i feel for you X
I agree absolutely about not telling her - it will serve no purpose if she then refuses to go when you need your break so badly. Get her there by hook or by 'love lie' crook - I do hope there is someone you can ask for help.
It was not respite but we only got my mother to her CH by pretending we were going out for lunch - true in a way since they'd asked us to arrive for lunch and very nice it was too - she would simply never have left the house if we'd told her the truth. It is sad and nobody enjoys it at all, but sometimes these subterfuges are the only way.
It was not respite but we only got my mother to her CH by pretending we were going out for lunch - true in a way since they'd asked us to arrive for lunch and very nice it was too - she would simply never have left the house if we'd told her the truth. It is sad and nobody enjoys it at all, but sometimes these subterfuges are the only way.
most definately yes
yes you must go and take some relaxation away from the everyday stress and strain - you will come back refreshed and ready to start all over. Talk to your social worker about respite support and try not to worry too much
yes you must go and take some relaxation away from the everyday stress and strain - you will come back refreshed and ready to start all over. Talk to your social worker about respite support and try not to worry too much
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