1. SitsThere

    SitsThere Registered User

    Jan 7, 2013
    68
    I am having difficulties with persuading mum, who's now been 6 months in residential nursing home, to desist from drying her knickers on the radiator in her room. I got her a laundry basket and marked all her clothes but she always denies that she has a laundry basket so I have to sweep her room for things needing a wash and put them in the basket when she's not looking - and I cant keep up with the knicker turnover. Recently an engineer had to dismantle the radiator to retrieve the 8 pairs of knickers she had somehow managed to insert into the narrow slots on the radiator top and now the housekeeping staff have made a complaint about it and I have to persuade her to stop. She has dozens of pairs and she seems to be hand washing at least 4 pairs a day, often more.

    I wonder if there is any point in my bringing her a clothes drying rack as the care staff have suggested, because she doesn't seem able to understand the laundry basket. I also wonder if the real problem might be continence because when out with the family she is definitely having accidents and near or complete misses. It is very difficult to get her to discuss why she won't let the home do her laundry. All the same I foresee trouble ahead if she won't stop using the radiators. I wonder if I should try to get her to use some incontinence pads or pants and how on earth to get over her defenses about admitting to such an intimate problem.
     
  2. chelsea girl

    chelsea girl Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    139
    Hi, could you take some pairs of knickers away? Just leave her a few pairs. Then they wouldnt clog up the radiator and she may remove them more often??
     
  3. Tin

    Tin Registered User

    May 18, 2014
    4,815
    UK
    All of your suggestions are great, but putting them into practice-not easy. I had this knicker problem for ages, wet ones hanging over all radiators, chairs. Pull ups are to a certain extent easing this, but mum still ocassionally hangs these on radiators, as long as mum can still take off her own she just treats the pull ups as ordinary knickers!!!
    Why can't the care staff deal with this and just collect up all when your mum is not in the room, not looking, sleeping?
     
  4. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,949
    Get a radiator cover fitted, they can be purchased at many of the Diy stores or online, ready made, just get it screwed to the wall.
     
  5. SitsThere

    SitsThere Registered User

    Jan 7, 2013
    68
    there already is a radiator cover ,
    that's what they had to dismantle :-(
     
  6. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,991
    Suffolk
    I'm with tin, surely this is the homes problem. If you didn't visit regularly, they would have to cope. I know it's not easy, but they surely have met it before and know what's likely to work.
     
  7. Beate

    Beate Registered User

    May 21, 2014
    11,743
    Female
    London
    I agree. They get paid a lot of money to look after her. Let them sort it out. Or bill them your time...
     
  8. Grace L

    Grace L Registered User

    Jun 14, 2014
    647
    NW UK
    You could buy a radiator guard , that way she would still be able to hang them but not able to 'post them'.

    Is she trying to hide them? I know my MiL (Alz) is horrified my knickers are sometimes 'on display'
    drying on my radiators, and she will grab them, and try and hide them, as these sort of things should
    not be available for all-to-see.
     
  9. sistermillicent

    sistermillicent Registered User

    Jan 30, 2009
    2,949
    oh no!
     
  10. Leswi

    Leswi Registered User

    Jul 13, 2014
    120
    Bedfordshire
    Mum went through a phase of washing her own knickers when she started having accidents and one day she gave my son a bag of washed wet ones for him to give to a charity shop! A small airer might help and put some fresh pairs on it to associate it with knickers in her mind?
     
  11. SitsThere

    SitsThere Registered User

    Jan 7, 2013
    68
    well as usual it's a huge relief to see that this too is a phase others have experienced. I take everyone's point about letting the home sort it out but to be frank I would rather keep my powder dry for future more serious battles than get into a
    skirmish with them over this.
    I think I will try a combination of fewer knickers and a small airer and see how we get on. It's true that they would have to sort it out if I wasn't around so much but as it happens, I am, and can't just ignore it.
     
  12. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,051
    GLASGOW
    Why not put some netting on the radiator. Net curtain with some sticky velcro. Then no knickers on radiator and everyone is happy.
     
  13. Onlyme

    Onlyme Registered User

    Apr 5, 2010
    4,995
    UK
    Might she be thinking she only has 4 pairs so needs to wash/dry them quickly as she is running out. Perhaps if you left a pile of clean ones in clear sight she might give up washing them.
     
  14. alwaysfretting

    alwaysfretting Registered User

    Jan 1, 2015
    41
    How about an airer that fits to the radiator?

    I think this is probably a continence problem your mum is embarrassed about. Just in the last few days mum's carer had to talk to her about the need to wear pads which she was in denial about. She got round it by saying we all wear them (I'm mortified!) And this has worked a treat.
     
  15. Lindy50

    Lindy50 Registered User

    Dec 11, 2013
    5,239
    Cotswolds
    Honestly, while you will obviously do what you can to help, I feel this is mainly something that the care home should deal with. After all, they are there 24/7 and can monitor this issue much better than you realistically can.

    You say the housekeeping staff have complained. I wonder whether there is a good enough working relationship between 'housekeeping' and 'care' staff? Ideally all staff should be working in the residents best interests.....

    Good luck though, there are some great ideas on this thread :cool:

    Lindy xx
     

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