#Kill me
- Thread starter Rokaniry
- Start date
Welcome to Talking Point @Rokaniry, what an awful strain for you. Yes you need to keep saying no. The only thing that I could suggest is to contact your doctor to see if they could prescribe something to calm your wife down.
Please also try to look after yourself as it is very difficult to look after someone who has dementia.
Hopefully someone who has had experience of this will come along with other advice.
Please also try to look after yourself as it is very difficult to look after someone who has dementia.
Hopefully someone who has had experience of this will come along with other advice.
Interesting example of 'dementia logic' : she won't kill herself because it's against her religion but you murdering her would be just fine...
Mum would often ask me to get her some 'pills' that would kill her in her sleep. As it was impossible to reason with her in any way I would turn it into a joke in an attempt to make it light-hearted instead of the awful thing she was asking of me - 'Sorry I don't have any pills for you today but I do have giant chocolate buttons! I'll bring you some pills next time. Would you like the lemon sherbert or the humbug ones?' That sort of thing.
Mum would often ask me to get her some 'pills' that would kill her in her sleep. As it was impossible to reason with her in any way I would turn it into a joke in an attempt to make it light-hearted instead of the awful thing she was asking of me - 'Sorry I don't have any pills for you today but I do have giant chocolate buttons! I'll bring you some pills next time. Would you like the lemon sherbert or the humbug ones?' That sort of thing.
Depression and dementia often go together. Is your wife taking any anti-depressants? If not, have a chat with the GP who might prescribe something to lift her mood
I assume that being Catholic she believes that you would go to hell if you committed murder/assisted in a suicide does she really want that for you. If it would be inappropriate or too insensitive to talk like this in your case you could try talking being arrested, going to prison, friends and family disowning you etc etc.
I accompanied a client who I loved and cared for very much to hospital when she broke her hip, she already had several health issues including COPD, tendency to depression and was registered blind. She kept asking for more pain killers - I think she did genuinely need them but then she started begging me to put a pillow over her face. I told her "you know I can't" but I did say I would pray for her suffering to stop. I am sure the only reason she agreed to the operation was because she was high risk for anaesthetic and thought she would not make it through.
I hope you are both able to find some peace very soon.
I accompanied a client who I loved and cared for very much to hospital when she broke her hip, she already had several health issues including COPD, tendency to depression and was registered blind. She kept asking for more pain killers - I think she did genuinely need them but then she started begging me to put a pillow over her face. I told her "you know I can't" but I did say I would pray for her suffering to stop. I am sure the only reason she agreed to the operation was because she was high risk for anaesthetic and thought she would not make it through.
I hope you are both able to find some peace very soon.
I think a lot of people with this awful disease want to die. My Mum certainly did when she was first diagnosed as she had insight and knew what it meant. Although she’s declined significantly in the two and a half years since diagnosis she has flashes of insight into how she is and still says this. Yes it’s distressing but you can’t blame someone for wanting a way out. I certainly would as given the prevalence of Alzheimer’s among the female side of my maternal family it’s likely this will be my destiny too. I only hope I don’t live to a ripe old age. The difficulty with Alzheimer’s is that it’s not really treated like a terminal diagnosis and all too often sufferers have everything medicine has to offer thrown at them regardless of their quality of life. My Mum was prescribed ‘happy pills’ by her more than useless GP but refused to take them.
