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Keys

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
0
I try to take anxieties away from mum as much as I possibly can so she feels as secure as possible. She lives alone. I have managed this in some respects but not others.

She's usually good with keys because she worries about security but today she locked herself out. When you shut her door it locks and as it turned out she had tucked her keys in a glove and hid them away. Thankfully a neighbour rang me and my brother went round and let her in and after a long search found the keys.

Now she is paranoid about them and is apparently sat at home with the glove on and the keys inside.

The neighbour now has a spare key (mum doesn't know or she won't sleep thinking someone will be coming in).

I really can't think of a way to take this worry of losing her keys away from her.

Any ideas?
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,289
0
SW London
would it help to have a key safe outside with a spare? or would that just make her more anxious about someone getting hold of it?

Other than that, or reassuring her that family have spares, I don't really know what to suggest. from experience, once this sort of anxious bee takes up residence in their bonnets it doesn't matter much what you do or say or how you reassure, they still fret, until that particular bee buzzes off.
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
0
I thought about the key safe and I think this would give us peace of mind but not her so much.

The thought of her walking around with a glove on with the keys in makes me feel so sad. I can't imagine what she will do at bed time.
 

ellejay

Registered User
Jan 28, 2011
4,019
0
Essex
Does your mum carry a handbag? We used a retractable key ring which we fixed to mums bag & she could use the keys while they were still attached . As mum never let her bag out of her sight, it worked.

Her spare key of choice was to have it pinned to her bra, (it worked for her because she thought of it herself)

Lin x
 

FifiMo

Registered User
Feb 10, 2010
4,705
0
Wiltshire
Yikes, this takes me back. My mother was forever phoning the police saying she was locked in/out. Police even had to force entry via an 8ft wide window, only to find mum's keys sitting on the table beside her chair! The issue goes beyond being locked out as it is the time taken to gain access. The police insisted that we put a key safe outside as their fear was that mum would start leaving the house with the door being left open for fear of being locked out again.

My mother didn't know there was a key safe as we put it behind the shed! All emergency services know the code to override the combination on the safe. Mum knew to phone them and we told police where the safe was located.

It is a nightmare! Another possible solution would be to get telecare service.if locked out she should still be able to alert them by pressing the button on the pendant. Aside from the keys issues it might give your mum more security if she know that someone will answer immediately if she presses the button. Even if a neighbour is in the house they too could quickly summon help and contact you just by pressing the button too. It is not expensive either, about £10 a month.

Fiona
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
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Hi Elliejay. Yes she does but my brother said today he found the keys in an old handbag. She usually keeps them in her jeans pocket but I don't know what happened today. I just think anxiety gets the better of her sometimes. I guess a retractable key ring could work though, if she remembers its on her bag.

You hit the nail on the head when you said about it working because your mum thought of it. This is the only way to get mum to remember where things are, she has to come up with the idea or its pointless because it simply won't make sense to her. Hence the glove. I suppose for now I have to just let her go with that one because for the moment at least she knows where her keys are! It's not ideal though.
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
0
Hi Fiona. I feel a bit better now knowing her neighbour has a key but its mum who worries me. She rang me about what to do now about going to bed. "How do I lock the door?". It's just horrible. She says she's going to stay in all day tmrw and hold on to her keys.

At the moment she's most likely to knock at the neighbours than ring the police but who knows, it's all so unpredictable.

Just to add we tried a pendant after her stroke several years ago. She made them take it away because it made her feel old!
 
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pippop1

Registered User
Apr 8, 2013
501
0
My MIL has a bright pink lanyard (a piece of material with a key ring attached) to wear around her neck. She worries if she doesn't have her keys. We got it from Amazon for a pound or two.
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
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0
Thanks Pippop1 I'll look at that. I think she would feel secure if she literally had them attached to her.
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
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I've just seen a lanyard on amazon which has a key ring and has "mum's keys" written on it! So sweet, think she might like that actually.

Thanks for your replies x
 

pippop1

Registered User
Apr 8, 2013
501
0
A carer suggested it to us. Make sure you get a nice bright colour. Ours is virtually flourescent. MIL used to spend any car journey checking that she had her keys in her handbag. The idea was that she could see and hold onto them.

Our one has some kind of safety thing that if you get it caught there is a weak spot where it breaks. Just one more thing to worry about but it makes sense as someone could lean over, catch it on something and strangle themselves. Hope I haven't put you off.
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
0
I have just seen that exact one! Fluorescent pink with the breakaway tab. To be honest I was thinking that might be a bad thing in case she managed to pull it off accidentally but you're right, I guess it's a good safety feature.

That is exactly what my mum is like, constantly checking where her keys are. I think if she can see them it could help. She can also hang them on her wardrobe door at night and spot them easily.

Hopefully she will go for the idea. It's got to be better than the glove!

Thanks for your help x
 

Jaycee23

Registered User
Jan 6, 2011
383
0
uk
When my mum used to live at home she also had very bad anxiety about losing her keys and we found it very successful to have those bright tapes that hang around the kneck with the key attached to the key ring part. She even slept in it but always had the key round her kneck and felt safer. She could not use her handbag as she had so many and was always chopping and changing them and sometimes forgetting to put her purse in the right one.
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
0
Hi Jaycee. This is another issue. I constantly tell her to use the same bag and I put money in it and my phone number but she moves things around so much I have had to give up on it now.

I have ordered the bright lanyard and I'm hoping it helps her.

It's like swimming against the tide really though because no matter how many solutions I come up with there is always something I don't take into account.
 

Noorza

Registered User
Jun 8, 2012
6,542
0
I thought about the key safe and I think this would give us peace of mind but not her so much.

The thought of her walking around with a glove on with the keys in makes me feel so sad. I can't imagine what she will do at bed time.

I think you need the keybox even if you don't tell her about it. They are so useful for the emergency services to get it and you never know when that will be needed.
 

Anongirl

Registered User
Aug 8, 2012
2,668
0
True Noorza. I have thought about that. I am going to get another key cut this weekend. X
 

Noorza

Registered User
Jun 8, 2012
6,542
0
True Noorza. I have thought about that. I am going to get another key cut this weekend. X

The thing with this disease is none of us know what is around the corner, the ambulance crews use it when she falls, the police use it when she set fires (yes mum's an arsonist) ;), the carers can use is if she is asleep, the uses are endless and you just don't know when it's going to be needed. The emergency services have the codes logged, it's well worth it.
 

simpknt

Registered User
Jan 8, 2013
47
0
No keys now

Last year Janet forgot how to use a key! She would go out and leave the door open and at night she would leave the door open. I had an electronic lock installed. All she has to do is touch a small fob on the sensor pad to get in and press a red button to get out. The door locks when it is closed. It was never 100% successful as she worried that she would not be able to get out and would not close the door properly. She wears the fob on a lanyard round her neck and is generally good about wearing it. Her concierge desk has a spare fob.

If there was no concierge I would certainly have a key safe installed. If that worries your Mum I would have it installed where she couldn't see it. My experience is that if Janet cannot see something then she doesn't worry about it. For example, she would occasionally wee in my kitchen waste bin at night because it looked like a toilet so I put it out of sight before I go to bed and haven't had that problem since.

I never leave Janet alone for more than an hour or so now so the door is not such an issue. I think you need to try different things until you find something that works for your Mum.

Good luck.

David
 

nickie

Registered User
Aug 27, 2013
6
0
northumberland
I try to take anxieties away from mum as much as I possibly can so she feels as secure as possible. She lives alone. I have managed this in some respects but not others.

She's usually good with keys because she worries about security but today she locked herself out. When you shut her door it locks and as it turned out she had tucked her keys in a glove and hid them away. Thankfully a neighbour rang me and my brother went round and let her in and after a long search found the keys.

Now she is paranoid about them and is apparently sat at home with the glove on and the keys inside.

The neighbour now has a spare key (mum doesn't know or she won't sleep thinking someone will be coming in).

I really can't think of a way to take this worry of losing her keys away from her.

Any ideas?
my mam has lost countless keys, she will only settle if her key is in her pocket we tried number of different ways but nothing reasured her, all the family have spare keys just in case and extra to replace the lost ones.