keeping calm


Registered User
Oct 6, 2005
not sure if posted this twice just getting hang of it

mum swops bed in the night often ending up on the sofa i know the bed is good its new and she picked
she says people come in the house when shes not there is all this the way it goes
i've got so many questions is it the early stage as the doc says how long does it take how long will she be safe when dont they know who you are
i'm so sorry i know people are suffering a lot more than me just cant stop my mind chasing right now


Registered User
Mar 12, 2005
West Sussex
Hello Jani

I am sorry you are in such a state about your Mum.
Unfortunately, in my experience, there are no hard and fast rules about the progression of Alzheimers or the way it shows itself.
There are some excellent fact sheets on this site that have helped me a lot, I read them again as I need more answers to the thousand questions we all have.
We are all suffering along side each other and all we can do is show each other support as and when it is needed.
My Mum is in the later stages over 5 years down the line, but is still physically in good shape, apart from a swallowing problem it is her memory, emotions and understanding of speech and language that have been the worst affected so far.

I used to look at the stages and think, ok, when that happens I will be prepared for it, but a surprise symptom would occur and of course,a symptom I am "ready" for never does.Each time, the adjusting takes its toll emotionally.
You will have bad days and days when you find yourself laughing at something that to an outsider would seem weird. There are also those days when for a brief time we have them "back" and we see that our loved one is still there, just below the surface.

At the stage Mum is at it is easier for her than the family, as she is in her own reality which is mostly good and any bad patches are quickly forgotten.
It is a long, hard and sometimes bitter-sweet road to travel, but one we must accompany our loved ones on.

Take care


Registered User
Mar 13, 2004
Dear Jani

Kathleen has put it all beautifully. It is a bitter sweet road, and believe it or not, there are funny days too!

We all feel scared at times in coping with this illness, but learn to trust your own instincts about your mum. You will learn from day to day as we have all done, and you will handle it very well, better than you expected.

I can only speak from my own experience but I learned to trust my own feelings where my mother's care was concerned. Doctors, consultants and CPNs are all useful but they do not live with your mum or know her as you do, so if you you feel any of their advice is wrong for your mum, don't be afraid to question them.

Learn as much as you can from the Alzheimer's info on the illness but the place were I found the most useful answers and info was here on Talking Point, from those who are experiencing all that you are going through too.

Welcome to TP. Share your experiences and fears here too, it will help you to cope.

blue sea

Registered User
Aug 24, 2005
Hi Jani

Kathleen has said it all but want you to know we all give you our support and love. There just aren't answers to so many questions about how an individual will progress (actually regress is a better word) with this illness. For my dad it was really rapid from the early to severe stage but my aunt took over 5 years to get to the stage where she needed to go into a home. Get all the help you can from health and social services (not always easy but some areas are better than others). Kepp posting. I find it helps just to put my feelings into writing sometimes.

Take care of yourself too.

Blue sea