1. Expert Q&A: Protecting a person with dementia from financial abuse - Weds 26 June, 3:30-4:30 pm

    Financial abuse can have serious consequences for a person with dementia. Find out how to protect a person with dementia from financial abuse.

    Sam, our Knowledge Officer (Legal and Welfare Rights) is our expert on this topic. She will be here to answer your questions on Wednesday 26 June between 3:30 - 4:30 pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Keep asking or just 'do'?

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by janey106, Aug 22, 2015.

  1. janey106

    janey106 Registered User

    Dec 10, 2013
    139
    Haven't been on TP since May for many reasons but partly due to sheer change in picture practically daily: I know many others write about the challenges of dealing with changing moods, behaviours, and it is truly like an old fashioned kaleidoscope, a slight shift but everything is different. Mum's world must be even more fractured. Mum's OT has been a star, liaising with family, Consultant and recently got my Dad to meet a wonderful guy from Alzheimer's Society who spoke with him and my Sister for a couple of hours about extra help, caring for himself, support sessions etc. he is even arranging a Caseworker to overview it all regularly and finally helped Dad to see we need to do some emergency planning etc. Mum's current diagnosis includes; Mixed vascular dementia & alzheimers, depression, anxiety and bordeline personality disorder. Terrible morning depressions becoming aggressive etc later in day. She has come close to hospitalisation again and last week we had to get the police involved when she went missing (water infection also on the go making it all worse). Dad exhausted trying to manage. Dad starting to come on board about carers coming to the house to help and we have tried to sell it to Mum too but she is still adamant no-one else can come but me and my Sister and we are both juggling round full time work and families. Others have suggested we stop asking or suggesting and just 'do'.

    We have thought about 'housekeeper' who comes two hours a day to take her out, cook a meal for evening etc.p so giving Dad a break but also Mum more stimulation (has walked out of other groups we tried). Amazing she hasn't forgotten still that her driving license been removed.

    Any thoughts would be appreciated about if/how we force the issue.
    Thank you
     
  2. TDA

    TDA Registered User

    Mar 3, 2015
    25
    This sounds just like my parents before my dad sadly died. Mum has mixed dementia/alz. Just get the help, we employ a family friend, firstly she came 'to clean' and help dad, but she became great friends with mum, and continues to come three times a week ( it now contributes to live in carers time off)
     
  3. jasmineflower

    jasmineflower Registered User

    Aug 27, 2012
    335
    We also employ a "cleaner" for my FIL. They have always had a cleaner so it was easier to accept. In fact, she is a wonderful lady who makes lunch for him "ooh these eggs need using up - would you like an egg sandwich?", tries to involve him in activities "why don't you water these flowers while I sweep" and generally keeps a close eye on him.

    I have to say I really don't think you'd find similar creativity from agency carers who are always so pressed for time.

    If you can find the right person who's willing to be the "cleaner" it would be a great weight off your mind.
    J x
     

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