1. Kacey

    Kacey Registered User

    Feb 22, 2015
    2
    Hello my mum has been battling dementia for five years she is still at home being looked after by my dad who is 81 I'm finding it extremely hard to cope with all the emotions as I live next door to my parents. I lost my brother very suddenly just after mum was diagnosed I do have the support of a wonderful husband & son sometimes I feel so guilty for feeling like this. It is a terrible disease my heart goes out to everyone going through this . Any ideas on how to cope any better????? Xx
     
  2. Jessbow

    Jessbow Registered User

    Just keep breathing in and out! Sadly there are no definite 'one size fits all ' solution.

    What I can understand is the mention of your late brother. The very same thing happened to me- my older brother died and I found myself getting angry..? upset...? ( It varied! ) that he had gone and wasn't there to help.
     
  3. Rageddy Anne

    Rageddy Anne Registered User

    Feb 21, 2013
    5,990
    Cotswolds
    So very sorry to read both these sad stories..and I do feel for you.I'm caring for my husband, who is only a few months older than me. My daughter in law has been wonderful, but I hate the feeling I'm spoiling her life too.

    I find it helps to remind myself of how animals manage. They live in the present, every new thing is just something to be got through, but they don't concern themselves with the why?s and what if?s. I wish I was a dog sometimes.
     
  4. Adcat

    Adcat Registered User

    Jun 15, 2014
    290
    London
    Raggedy Anne, what a great way to look at the situation. I'm going to be a lap dog, don't care which brand!
     
  5. jpk

    jpk Registered User

    Jun 10, 2014
    7
    warrington, cheshire
    I read your note and it struck home. My daughter and her husband want us to buy a farm with them so that we can have an annex next door. My wife is suffering from Vascular Dementia and has been for the past 7 years. I have now come to the position where I take it day by day. I dont look any further that going to bed tonight. I have to deal with whatever comes during those hours and nothing else. We live day by day.

    My wife does not look either backwards or forward she cant. She lives in the moment.

    I thought that an annex would be good but your experience does not seem to support my idea?
     
  6. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    I think you should think about your daughters offer. You living beside them might make their life easier in terms of caring for you and supporting you. You would still have your own space and they would be less worried about getting to you.
     
  7. Spamar

    Spamar Registered User

    Oct 5, 2013
    6,879
    Suffolk
    Just as a point, jpk, if you and your wife move now, how would she cope with the move? Sooner rather than later is better, personal experience. Though I knew we could not cope at the old place, it was still very much of a struggle for OH, suffering but un diagnosed at then.
     

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