Just....

citybythesea

Registered User
Mar 23, 2008
632
53
coast of texas
Pardon if I ramble I just have to get this off my chest. I am so angry right now at how the non-caretakers in my family are judging me for my decisions. I am so angry at how my other hald=f does not understand that before mom got really bad she would ask to see my brother or for him to come visit. (She had long forgotten what he looked like...but knew he existed thru our talks)And how he has not tried to come see her. I am so mad at how peopel take everyone for granted.

I am mad at myself for not saying "I Love You" more often because now I say it as much as possible I just don't know if she understands thru her little world that she has gone into.

Now that is off my chest I want to say thnak you's to all of you. Most days I can handle what is going on and am pretty tuff but these days watching her dwindle is hard. It's hard not knowing what is going on with her other than what I can see. (I guess I am a little of a control freak) I found this forum on one of my quests to learn more of moms disease so I wouldn't be blind sided and am thankful for you all. Today I read of the TIA's and wanted to thank Helen for her insight as to what her mom went thru and all of you. The littlest of knowledge is the best way to combat this dreadful disease from an outsiders point in. I have no way of knowing what is going on inside of her but knowing what to expect over time makes it easier to comfort her.

These days we do therapy to keep her from shrivelling up and the look on her face tells me she hurts and I know tthis is for the best but still I question everything. Is the pain she is going thru worth the little outcome that comes from the therapy...in the long run her body will still pull her into the fetal position and I so hate looking at her face when we do therapy, but that is the only way I have of knowing that I am not doing more than stretching those tendons.

Am I such a bad person for feeling so out of it today?
 

Skye

Registered User
Aug 29, 2006
17,000
SW Scotland
Am I such a bad person for feeling so out of it today?
You are certainly not a bad person!:eek:

You are doing all you can for your mom, letting her know she is loved and cherished.

You have a right to be angry that the family don't support you, but you're not going to change them. Their unfeeling attitude is their problem.

Tell us about your anger, we're here to listen and support. Then forget them. You don't need them.

Just feel secure in the knowledge that you love your mom and are doing all you can for her.

Be proud of yourself.:)

Love and hugs,
 

helen.tomlinson

Registered User
Mar 27, 2008
541
Hello City by the Sea

It's hard not knowing what is going on with her other than what I can see.
It sure is. It's also hard when a baby is upset and they can't say what the matter is. All a mother can do is go through the elimination process and try to make baby as comfortable and safe as possible.

You are doing a splendid job and if you're a bad person for having an off day, then we're all bad people. We must be really bad because we put our lives on hold to care for someone else!!
We must be bad because we do everything we can to make our loves one's life as good as possible even though we don't know what we're doing half the time and we don't have adequate support, professional or familial.

You really are doing a splendid job - WE ALL ARE


Love from Helen
 

BettyL

Registered User
Jan 20, 2008
60
Essex
No, no, no! You are certainly not a bad person. You are a wonderful carer who, like many more of us, could do with some more help and support from our families.

The job you are doing for your mom is fantastic. I know how you feel - we all do. Let rip as much as you like with us - we all understand and send you all our best wishes.

kind regards
BettyL