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Just when you thought things might get better

Jaric

Registered User
Jun 8, 2018
13
Its taken a while but finally got mum to agree to see the memory clinic, if they visited at home. They contacted me and asked for background information and from that, they decided that there were some mental health issues aswell (not a surprise). The social worker arranged a visit along with the psychiatrist. Long story short, the initial diagnosis is psychosis, anxiety and some dementia, memory score was poor.
The psychiatrist wants to prescribe anti psychotic drugs and a head scan but backtracked on the scan due to mums anxiety going through the roof. Once they left, I was very quickly shown the door and she wants her house keys back. I'm now seen as the bad guy for telling tales about her. She thinks her memory isnt too bad.
She cannot manage her finances and doesn't eat well.
Will get on to the social worker and let them know but at the moment, things seem worse than ever.
 
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karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,303
N Ireland
Oh dear.

These situations are all too common and I hope things settle.

It's a sad thing to say but if your mum's memory is as bad as my wife's she may soon forget why she is miffed and look for things to return to normal when she finds she can't manage.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,658
Its taken a while but finally got mum to agree to see the memory clinic, if they visited at home. They contacted me and asked for background information and from that, they decided that there were some mental health issues aswell (not a surprise). The social worker arranged a visit along with the psychiatrist. Long story short, the initial diagnosis is psychosis, anxiety and some dementia, memory score was poor.
The psychiatrist wants to prescribe anti psychotic drugs and a head scan but backtracked on the scan due to mums anxiety going through the roof. Once they left, I was very quickly shown the door and she wants her house keys back. I'm now seen as the bad guy for telling tales about her. She thinks her memory isnt too bad.
She cannot manage her finances and doesn't eat well.
Will get on to the social worker and let them know but at the moment, things seem worse than ever.
im afraid that your Mum is having a knee jerk reaction, the loss of control over what’s happening etc.

keep repeating this mantra “ in her best interests” , it is a slight salve I found.
Actually what choice do we have in these situations?

aged mother asked for my key back- & I gave it to her , ensuring a neighbour had a spare. Give your Mum some space &time, let social services know her reactions & distress at the reality of her situation & maybe step back for a while ....

(((((Hugs))))
I know it’s horrid
X
 

Jaric

Registered User
Jun 8, 2018
13
im afraid that your Mum is having a knee jerk reaction, the loss of control over what’s happening etc.

keep repeating this mantra “ in her best interests” , it is a slight salve I found.
Actually what choice do we have in these situations?

aged mother asked for my key back- & I gave it to her , ensuring a neighbour had a spare. Give your Mum some space &time, let social services know her reactions & distress at the reality of her situation & maybe step back for a while ....

(((((Hugs))))
I know it’s horrid
X
We
im afraid that your Mum is having a knee jerk reaction, the loss of control over what’s happening etc.

keep repeating this mantra “ in her best interests” , it is a slight salve I found.
Actually what choice do we have in these situations?

aged mother asked for my key back- & I gave it to her , ensuring a neighbour had a spare. Give your Mum some space &time, let social services know her reactions & distress at the reality of her situation & maybe step back for a while ....

(((((Hugs))))
I know it’s horrid
X
Thanks, for responding. I’m going to get the keys cut this afternoon as no-one else has one. I’ll then give them back to her. Not quite sure what will happen when the doctor prescribes the drugs. Social services did say that it sometimes needs to reach a crisis point. X
 

Jopaco

New member
Aug 31, 2019
2
We


Thanks, for responding. I’m going to get the keys cut this afternoon as no-one else has one. I’ll then give them back to her. Not quite sure what will happen when the doctor prescribes the drugs. Social services did say that it sometimes needs to reach a crisis point. X
Hi Jaric, I feel your pain. I'm new to all this too. It took 13 months to finally ask & get help. My mum hasn't really excepted her diagnosis and I have to just get on with it. Its good & bad days now. I now smile and say everything is fine when my friends ask me 'how things are? As, I feel they are asking out of concern but, then I recall later what I've said and I sound if I'm moaning. I now realize how hard it is and its going to get harder. Chin up and just remember to breathe & smile. When I get in my car after making sure mum's ok, I turn up that radio and sing along. sometimes I scream and breathe, sometimes I cry all the way home. I park, wipe the tears away and do it all again the next day!
Keep the good memories xxxxxx
 

Jaric

Registered User
Jun 8, 2018
13
Hi Jaric, I feel your pain. I'm new to all this too. It took 13 months to finally ask & get help. My mum hasn't really excepted her diagnosis and I have to just get on with it. Its good & bad days now. I now smile and say everything is fine when my friends ask me 'how things are? As, I feel they are asking out of concern but, then I recall later what I've said and I sound if I'm moaning. I now realize how hard it is and its going to get harder. Chin up and just remember to breathe & smile. When I get in my car after making sure mum's ok, I turn up that radio and sing along. sometimes I scream and breathe, sometimes I cry all the way home. I park, wipe the tears away and do it all again the next day!
Keep the good memories xxxxxx
Hi
I’m in a community choir and have the learning tracks on in the choir, there really is something about singing that helps. I also feel as though I’m moaning to friends, in fact one made me go to the gp to talk about how it was making me feel. I don’t think we appreciate the stress it causes us. We’re still at the diagnosis stage as Mum is refusing to speak to the psychiatrist, as she doesn’t trust him. They are going to use the gp to see if she will be more cooperative. I’ve stepped back as otherwise I’ll get the blame. She quickly realised she needed me to have keys back and sort her pension (she tried to withdraw £900 and was adamant in the post office that she has this every week). Of course it the people in there that have an ‘attitude’ and won’t let her have her pension.
Hey ho, could be crunch week this week if she chucks the social worker out and refuses to see the gp.
Chin up and smile as you say but visit your gp for yourself and try to get some councilling so that you can offload xxx