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Just want to scream

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
82
Now both my father's carers are unavailable due to Covid-19, it's down to us. He doesn't have particularly advanced needs, just help in dressing and washing. The only thing I ask him to do it to keep drinking so he doesn't get into further prostate issues.

I noticed now that he'd only drunk half a pint of squash today. I reminded him to drink a bit more and he said "Don't worry about it" in the supercilious way that he has been all his life. I had to leave the room as I do worry about it - he's been in hospital at least 3 times because he hasn't drunk enough fluids and it's so easily avoidable.

Sorry. Rant over. Just venting...
 
Last edited by a moderator:

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
Now both my father's carers are unavailable due to Covid-19, it's down to us. He doesn't have particularly advanced needs, just help in dressing and washing. The only thing I ask him to do it to keep drinking so he doesn't get into further prostate issues.

I noticed now that he'd only drunk half a pint of squash today. I reminded him to drink a bit more and he said "Don't worry about it" in the supercilious way that he has been all his life. I had to leave the room as I do worry about it - he's been in hospital at least 3 times because he hasn't drunk enough fluids and it's so easily avoidable.

Sorry. Rant over. Just venting...
rant away
Sadly you can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink
nor can we change the natural outcome of this disease ...
look after yourself in this extraordinary times
 
Last edited by a moderator:

MaNaAk

Registered User
Jun 19, 2016
1,916
Essex
I can so relate to this although I had trouble trying to get dad to eat which for a diabetic is particularly important. If he won't drink much try leaving a bowl of grapes on a table in front of him or try a fruit salad.

MaNaAk
 

formymom

New member
Mar 29, 2020
5
63
Florida, USA
I feel you. You can see my post too about my Mom. There seems nothing I can do to make her understand the things she needs to do to keep herself safe! It's incredibly frustrating. I've been doing lots of meditation and breathing. It helps me to remember that there are only so many things that I can control...xo
 

spandit

Registered User
Feb 11, 2020
82
He's getting quite irritable now. His best friend, who he's known for 50 years or so, e-mailed to give his phone number. I asked if he wanted to call him but he snapped that he didn't want to talk to anyone and just wanted to be left alone.
 

lell

New member
Nov 21, 2017
9
Now both my father's carers are unavailable due to Covid-19, it's down to us. He doesn't have particularly advanced needs, just help in dressing and washing. The only thing I ask him to do it to keep drinking so he doesn't get into further prostate issues.

I noticed now that he'd only drunk half a pint of squash today. I reminded him to drink a bit more and he said "Don't worry about it" in the supercilious way that he has been all his life. I had to leave the room as I do worry about it - he's been in hospital at least 3 times because he hasn't drunk enough fluids and it's so easily avoidable.

Sorry. Rant over. Just venting...
Hello there, we live in a parallel world! Can we scream together maybe? Am not belittling your situation, it hurts even though some of the behaviour has been there forever! I actually caught my dad throwing half a cup of tea in his waste bin yesterday...I think my nagging is getting to him but not enough for him to drink more!
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,326
Merseyside
Hello there, we live in a parallel world! Can we scream together maybe? Am not belittling your situation, it hurts even though some of the behaviour has been there forever! I actually caught my dad throwing half a cup of tea in his waste bin yesterday...I think my nagging is getting to him but not enough for him to drink more!
Welcome to DTP @lell
Getting someone to drink can be incredibly difficult. Please keep posting as you’ll get lots of support here.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
He's getting quite irritable now. His best friend, who he's known for 50 years or so, e-mailed to give his phone number. I asked if he wanted to call him but he snapped that he didn't want to talk to anyone and just wanted to be left alone.
Please don't make food & drink an issue - just offer a small amount a tablespoon on a small plate or bowl. A quarter glass of water.
Sit & sip water in your PWD sight line - this may prompt but might not.

This is part of dementias progress, however distressing we find this it is the bodies natural process. Accepting this as a carer is hard - but at some point acceptance of the natural progress has to be accepted.

each meal / snack / drink can become a worrying & distressing experience.
at this point for Dad & now with Mum balanced meals went out the window
- the sweet tooth wins
a happy PWD is more important

Dad was diabetic with multiple health issues
Aged mother ..... where do i start?????
 

Andrew_McP

Registered User
Mar 2, 2016
264
South Northwest
Supplies can be problematic at the moment, but milk shakes, ice cream, custard and angel delight are on my 'get fluid into Mum' list. She's not diabetic, thankfully, so I don't have to worry about low sugar options. Custard and angel delight can also have Complan or diet shake powder added to boost nutrition.

Some days though, you just have to look after yourself and try to avoid having a stress-induced heart attack. There's a limit to what you can do, and sometimes the only tools in your arsenal are patience and acceptance.
 

Lisa W.

New member
Mar 30, 2020
1
Now both my father's carers are unavailable due to Covid-19, it's down to us. He doesn't have particularly advanced needs, just help in dressing and washing. The only thing I ask him to do it to keep drinking so he doesn't get into further prostate issues.

I noticed now that he'd only drunk half a pint of squash today. I reminded him to drink a bit more and he said "Don't worry about it" in the supercilious way that he has been all his life. I had to leave the room as I do worry about it - he's been in hospital at least 3 times because he hasn't drunk enough fluids and it's so easily avoidable.

Sorry. Rant over. Just venting...
Hello. I live with and look after my very elderly mother and she has been recently diagnosed with Alzheimers. She won't drink water, but she loves Complan ( multi vitamin powder mixed with milk), also loves Carrot juice. Could you maybe try something like these?
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,057
Yorkshire
hello @Lisa W.
just to offer a warm welcome to DTP
it really does help to share experiences and ideas
so, now you've found us, I hope you'll keep posting
 

Cat27

Volunteer Moderator
Feb 27, 2015
11,326
Merseyside
Hello. I live with and look after my very elderly mother and she has been recently diagnosed with Alzheimers. She won't drink water, but she loves Complan ( multi vitamin powder mixed with milk), also loves Carrot juice. Could you maybe try something like these?
Welcome to DTP @Lisa W.
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,411
cornwall
I have the same with dad who has CKD and diabetes’s. The carers cannot get him to drink much especially water. I can get him to drink more with me as I drink decaf coffee so he will drink that. I used to stress over every issue but I figured out it was only me that was getting wound up. Dad didn’t bother and still doesn’t (symptom of dementia and his original attitude anyway) . So I learnt to let go. No matter how much I love my parents ,they will do whatever regardless. So I have learnt to “let things be”.
 

Shedrech

Volunteer Moderator
Dec 15, 2012
9,057
Yorkshire
hi @spandit and @lell
I used to think of any way I could get fluid into dad, and used a lot of ideas already offered
jellies, with lots of fruit in, and cream or custard went down well, trifle, any desert made with milk eg rice pudding with extra cream, ice lollies, any fruit with lots of juice eg oranges, melon esp watermelon, cut into bite size pieces, a soup to start a meal, gravy and sauces with each meal (he loved to wipe up excess gravy with some bread), and carton drinks as he was happy to drink through a straw and actually liked shaking the carton to show it was empty

I do agree that nagging/stressing was counter productive, so would leave drinks within reach, making many during the day and making sure he saw me drinking each time so he often copied me ... did wonders for my own hydration
 

RosettaT

Registered User
Sep 9, 2018
463
Mid Lincs
When my OH left hospital I was told to give him tinned fruit & jelly as both have high water content . The other thing I found was 100mls of water went down much easier than presenting 300mls. I just kept refilling the glass more often.
Now he drinks of his own accord and find if he does dally a little I change water for squash and have a variety of flavours, it usually works.
 

DesperateofDevon

Registered User
Jul 7, 2019
2,660
I have the same with dad who has CKD and diabetes’s. The carers cannot get him to drink much especially water. I can get him to drink more with me as I drink decaf coffee so he will drink that. I used to stress over every issue but I figured out it was only me that was getting wound up. Dad didn’t bother and still doesn’t (symptom of dementia and his original attitude anyway) . So I learnt to let go. No matter how much I love my parents ,they will do whatever regardless. So I have learnt to “let things be”.
How are things going? x
 

TNJJ

Registered User
May 7, 2019
1,411
cornwall
How are things going? x
Ok at the moment. I have told them to cancel the shopping trips as he cannot go out. The carer wanted to know if he still needed to do dad’s shopping. I said no get it delivered by the local shop. I sent an email last week explaining this. Got a reply after resending it again today..Communication is not great (never was).I speak on the phone to them at the moment..
He sounds ok but you never know.Im going in next week. How’s life with you?
 

Woolly100

New member
Mar 29, 2020
2
Now both my father's carers are unavailable due to Covid-19, it's down to us. He doesn't have particularly advanced needs, just help in dressing and washing. The only thing I ask him to do it to keep drinking so he doesn't get into further prostate issues.

I noticed now that he'd only drunk half a pint of squash today. I reminded him to drink a bit more and he said "Don't worry about it" in the supercilious way that he has been all his life. I had to leave the room as I do worry about it - he's been in hospital at least 3 times because he hasn't drunk enough fluids and it's so easily avoidable.

Sorry. Rant over. Just venting...
[/QUOTE
Does he like Jelly? It’s another way to get liquid into him.
 

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