Hi
Haven't posted for a couple of days, but I have done alot of reading of other people's posts. Dad has been in the home for about 3 weeks now and always wants us to take him away from there "Can I come with you now? You won't go without me will you? Tell 'them' we're just going for a walk and we can drive off in the car" ...etc ...etc
At first I would calm him, the chat for a while, then come away in tears that he was so unhappy.
Just by reading all the posts on here, I am slowly coming to realise that it is not my dad talking, but the AD. There is now a pattern to our daily visits. He tells us how pleased he is to see us. We go through the "You will get me out, won't you" speech for a few minutes ( could be longer or less time depending on what mood he's in / how tired he is / if he's a bit under the weather etc etc). THEN... As soon as he is convinced that we are sorting everything out for him to go back to Moreton (where he lived about 40 years ago) and that if he doesn't mind staying the night we will come back for him in a few days, he is fine and we can talk about other things....limited things....he always talk about some photos on the wall that he tells us are of Birkenhead (Could be anywhere !!!) and we just go along with it. We took dominoes the other day and had a lovely few games ( with help, prompting and reminders of what to do).
Anyway, aside from all this rambling, what I'm trying to say is that slowly, very slowly,with the help of this site and reading the postings I am coming to realise that I am not alone. That my dad has AD and that I ought to be grateful that he is in a good home, warm, well fed ( if his expanding waistline is anything to go by!!) and , most important, safe from harm.
I wish he was happy, just like I walways remember he was all his life, but I don't know if he is happy and I guess I never will.
It is ME that has to learn to cope. This is as good as it will get and I must learn to treasure every laugh and joke we share. He has AD, but he's still MY dad. If something had happened to me as a child, I know he would have spent his life making sure I was as well looked after as I could be, now I can repay that and make sure he's well cared for.
Thanks, TP, for being there
Jarnee
(Er, can't find the icon for tears dripping onto the keyboard, so please use your imagination at this point)
Haven't posted for a couple of days, but I have done alot of reading of other people's posts. Dad has been in the home for about 3 weeks now and always wants us to take him away from there "Can I come with you now? You won't go without me will you? Tell 'them' we're just going for a walk and we can drive off in the car" ...etc ...etc
At first I would calm him, the chat for a while, then come away in tears that he was so unhappy.
Just by reading all the posts on here, I am slowly coming to realise that it is not my dad talking, but the AD. There is now a pattern to our daily visits. He tells us how pleased he is to see us. We go through the "You will get me out, won't you" speech for a few minutes ( could be longer or less time depending on what mood he's in / how tired he is / if he's a bit under the weather etc etc). THEN... As soon as he is convinced that we are sorting everything out for him to go back to Moreton (where he lived about 40 years ago) and that if he doesn't mind staying the night we will come back for him in a few days, he is fine and we can talk about other things....limited things....he always talk about some photos on the wall that he tells us are of Birkenhead (Could be anywhere !!!) and we just go along with it. We took dominoes the other day and had a lovely few games ( with help, prompting and reminders of what to do).
Anyway, aside from all this rambling, what I'm trying to say is that slowly, very slowly,with the help of this site and reading the postings I am coming to realise that I am not alone. That my dad has AD and that I ought to be grateful that he is in a good home, warm, well fed ( if his expanding waistline is anything to go by!!) and , most important, safe from harm.
I wish he was happy, just like I walways remember he was all his life, but I don't know if he is happy and I guess I never will.
It is ME that has to learn to cope. This is as good as it will get and I must learn to treasure every laugh and joke we share. He has AD, but he's still MY dad. If something had happened to me as a child, I know he would have spent his life making sure I was as well looked after as I could be, now I can repay that and make sure he's well cared for.
Thanks, TP, for being there
Jarnee
(Er, can't find the icon for tears dripping onto the keyboard, so please use your imagination at this point)