I'm new to the forum and am humbled by the posts I've read and the way many of you are coping with almost intolerable situations. My mother-in-law was diagnosed nearly two years ago with vascular dementia and AD. She lives alone in a big house about a mile away from us. She has always been independent and even at the age of 83 still doesn't like being helped. The main problem is that my husband and I are doing the best we can but we have two children aged 14 and 12 who need us and we both work (although I'm only part-time). Although we've been bringing her meals she has lost loads of weight as she refuses to eat unless it's her regular meal-time (5pm at which time I'm busy with the kids). Her OT organised carers to come in at 5 and make her a meal but we've found out that she meets them at the door and says she's already eaten. Her main wish is to stay at home until she dies but we can't seem to make her understand that if she will just accept the help that we and others can offer she might have more chance of achieving this. I came home the other day so upset as she went mad at me about something that my husband said I should have a break for the rest of this week and it's been such a relief! The truth is that she wasn't a particularly nice person before all this and it just seems to have exacerbated her worst tendencies. There I feel better now for having got that off my chest! Please don't think I'm awful!