Hello all,
It really is in some way a comfort to know that this isn't something that 'just we' are going through. I've started reading different stories on here mainly for advise and so i can say to my step dad, look your not alone.
My mum is 57, she already has fibromyalgia and osteo and rheumatoid arthritis and almost a year to the day (11 August 2016) my mum had a hypoglycemic attack and 3 severe falls to the head left her with severe brain trauma. The upshot 6 months later is that mum has been diagnosed with Degenerative Neurological Brain condition (They don't want to investigate why) Epilepsy and Alzheimer's. Lumbar puncture proved she was always going to develop dementia, however the trauma to the head has exasperated it greatly.
When she came out of hospital, she had regressed 33 years, didn't recognise who myself and my brother was, didn't recognise home, and thought my stepdad was her ex husband. The upshot of this was after 2 weeks of her trying to escape a home she lived in for 5 years and not recognising it and trying to bash windows in claiming she was being held prisoner, social services found a respite place in a dementia unit. Not the best place for her, even the dementia consultant said she shouldn't have been there. She spent 4 weeks there while they organised care for home. It took 3 months before she settled back and started to recognise things. They said this was the swelling and trauma to the brain. From the home she also now has 'post care trauma'.
Now social services will provide care only for 6.5 hours of my stepdads 9 hours at work 5 days a week. Mum isn't to be left alone for long periods of time, but the social pot will only pay for 6.5 hours. Mum has a panic alarm fitted and is GPS'd as she has no comprehension that anything is wrong with her.
My step dad is either at work or with mum the only respite he gets in on a Saturday when i take her out. But it doesn't help him the rest of the week. It doesn't help him care for mum day to day, or help with his emotional distress. They have been married for 8 years and their life has been stolen. Mum now insists he is having an affair, when he is not, and that is very distressing for someone who dotes on my mum.
We all feel like fish out of water, none of us know what to do or how to handle her and her behaviour. Coming on here its nice to know that other people have been in this position and to learn that we can all support each other.
Im sorry this was a long one.
It really is in some way a comfort to know that this isn't something that 'just we' are going through. I've started reading different stories on here mainly for advise and so i can say to my step dad, look your not alone.
My mum is 57, she already has fibromyalgia and osteo and rheumatoid arthritis and almost a year to the day (11 August 2016) my mum had a hypoglycemic attack and 3 severe falls to the head left her with severe brain trauma. The upshot 6 months later is that mum has been diagnosed with Degenerative Neurological Brain condition (They don't want to investigate why) Epilepsy and Alzheimer's. Lumbar puncture proved she was always going to develop dementia, however the trauma to the head has exasperated it greatly.
When she came out of hospital, she had regressed 33 years, didn't recognise who myself and my brother was, didn't recognise home, and thought my stepdad was her ex husband. The upshot of this was after 2 weeks of her trying to escape a home she lived in for 5 years and not recognising it and trying to bash windows in claiming she was being held prisoner, social services found a respite place in a dementia unit. Not the best place for her, even the dementia consultant said she shouldn't have been there. She spent 4 weeks there while they organised care for home. It took 3 months before she settled back and started to recognise things. They said this was the swelling and trauma to the brain. From the home she also now has 'post care trauma'.
Now social services will provide care only for 6.5 hours of my stepdads 9 hours at work 5 days a week. Mum isn't to be left alone for long periods of time, but the social pot will only pay for 6.5 hours. Mum has a panic alarm fitted and is GPS'd as she has no comprehension that anything is wrong with her.
My step dad is either at work or with mum the only respite he gets in on a Saturday when i take her out. But it doesn't help him the rest of the week. It doesn't help him care for mum day to day, or help with his emotional distress. They have been married for 8 years and their life has been stolen. Mum now insists he is having an affair, when he is not, and that is very distressing for someone who dotes on my mum.
We all feel like fish out of water, none of us know what to do or how to handle her and her behaviour. Coming on here its nice to know that other people have been in this position and to learn that we can all support each other.
Im sorry this was a long one.
