Hello there
I'm working with social care to get my mum assessed finally and there a telephone assessment to be done with the social worker at Mum's bungalow. Not sure how that's going to go but we can only try. To be honest I'm quite nervous about it. Mum is a lovely person but is very suspicious of me and my motives. I have been so worried about her living on her own in her 90s with only me to look out for her - it's bad enough but with deteriorating memory and me moving away. Mum has told her GP that she doesn't want her children to know her details and my brother has programmed her phone so that only me or him can call her.
What I struggle with is the feelings of guilt that I'm not doing enough for her and this has gone for years. She happy but moans that she doesn't see anyone! I do try and see her every week, do her shopping and help her out but it has become a burden - is than awful thing to say?
I would love her to be in a nice little residential home with other people, doing activities, getting fed properly and just being looked after by those that know how to. I'm sure her quality of life would be better or would it? She is adamant that she doesn't want people in her home so would it be better to just give in and me move away - visit once a week and do her online shopping because that is all I am able to do for her now - anything more is too much for me now.
I've spoken to my daughter and told her everything that has happened to her Nanna (whom she hasn't seen since Christmas). She just didn't seem to understand how much worry about her Nanna but really want someone else to take over now. My daughter sees my Mum's need for independence. I guess it's that old story of your don't know a situation until you live it.
I so wish I had someone with me who see what I see in my Mum and sees how vulnerable she is.
Is that PWD put on an act so that everything is fine?
My mum can hardly walk, she has not left her bungalow since I took her to the beach in March (where I was supporting her) she is having toilet problems (from what i've seen), frail, poor eyesight, poor hearing, poor concentration, little mobility....
I'm really worried I've stirred everything up when Mum is not as bad I think.
I just feel I'm the villain and being really cruel
I'm working with social care to get my mum assessed finally and there a telephone assessment to be done with the social worker at Mum's bungalow. Not sure how that's going to go but we can only try. To be honest I'm quite nervous about it. Mum is a lovely person but is very suspicious of me and my motives. I have been so worried about her living on her own in her 90s with only me to look out for her - it's bad enough but with deteriorating memory and me moving away. Mum has told her GP that she doesn't want her children to know her details and my brother has programmed her phone so that only me or him can call her.
What I struggle with is the feelings of guilt that I'm not doing enough for her and this has gone for years. She happy but moans that she doesn't see anyone! I do try and see her every week, do her shopping and help her out but it has become a burden - is than awful thing to say?
I would love her to be in a nice little residential home with other people, doing activities, getting fed properly and just being looked after by those that know how to. I'm sure her quality of life would be better or would it? She is adamant that she doesn't want people in her home so would it be better to just give in and me move away - visit once a week and do her online shopping because that is all I am able to do for her now - anything more is too much for me now.
I've spoken to my daughter and told her everything that has happened to her Nanna (whom she hasn't seen since Christmas). She just didn't seem to understand how much worry about her Nanna but really want someone else to take over now. My daughter sees my Mum's need for independence. I guess it's that old story of your don't know a situation until you live it.
I so wish I had someone with me who see what I see in my Mum and sees how vulnerable she is.
Is that PWD put on an act so that everything is fine?
My mum can hardly walk, she has not left her bungalow since I took her to the beach in March (where I was supporting her) she is having toilet problems (from what i've seen), frail, poor eyesight, poor hearing, poor concentration, little mobility....
I'm really worried I've stirred everything up when Mum is not as bad I think.
I just feel I'm the villain and being really cruel