Hi Everyone,
First a sincere thank you - over the past week this board has been a great help in trying to understand what is going on with my great aunt. Sorry if what follows is a bit of a ramble ...
My aunt is 86 and last weekend ended up in A&E after falling in her kitchen. She had a badly cut hand and some bruising but OK really physically - nothing broken. They had to cut off her wedding and engagement rings but she didn't seem too concerned, when I know that a couple of years ago this would have really upset her. (we got them fixed and she now wears them on a chain until her hand heals).
She cannot recall anything about the fall (we think she was lying on the floor for a number of hours before being found). To explain, she lives alone, all her neighbours are elderly, in poor health or have passed away and I live the nearest (about an hour's drive away). It was sheer luck I had decided to visit that day and luck that my other aunt couldn't get hold of her and asked a neighbour to go and check on her.
Before this happened we were at the stage of monitoring her as a lot of strange things had happened and a mini assessment had been carried out by a really helpful community health nurse. She scored 26 and I felt that was pretty good and wasn't too concerned initially. However the real worry is that she has been wandering a lot at night, is convinced she has people living with her, has fallen a few times and - most worryingly - just not eating or drinking enough, so much so that she has dramatically lost weight. Also setting the table and cooking meals for people who were not coming. Some of this I have witnesses and other incidents told to me when I went to see neighbours.
In the hospital she veers from a calm acceptance to packing her bags to leave and saying there is nothing wrong. Tonight she was the best I have seen her over the past week, but when I went yesterday she thought it was the first time I had visited and asked me about the house where she grew up.
So to my questions ...
She has been in hospital for a week and I have been fortunate in that social services seem to be taking the situation seriously. A risk assessment is taking place this week which I am attending. Are there key things I should ask and how do I approach things if she decided she wants nothing to do with carers coming into the house? (this is a real concern as she is reluctant to accept help even from family). At the moment 3 times a day is being suggested, subject to the risk assessment. Also, if they say Ok to carers and she says Ok what advice can anyone give to deal with her coming home? My mum and another aunt are happy to be there for the first few days but unfortunately none of us are in a position to be able to pop in every day.
It has taken a fair bit to get other family members to take on board that this situation is more than a blip. But at the same time on one of her good days I wonder if it's me getting things out of proportion! From what I have read here this feeling is not unusual?
I have lots of questions and worries and concerns but some advice for the next week or so would be great just now.
Also, anyone know roughly how quickly (or slowly) care gets put in place? I am anxious of raising expectations with my aunt as I know she does want to be at home (even though sometimes she thinks she is at home).
Many thanks and best wishes to all.
Linda M.
First a sincere thank you - over the past week this board has been a great help in trying to understand what is going on with my great aunt. Sorry if what follows is a bit of a ramble ...
My aunt is 86 and last weekend ended up in A&E after falling in her kitchen. She had a badly cut hand and some bruising but OK really physically - nothing broken. They had to cut off her wedding and engagement rings but she didn't seem too concerned, when I know that a couple of years ago this would have really upset her. (we got them fixed and she now wears them on a chain until her hand heals).
She cannot recall anything about the fall (we think she was lying on the floor for a number of hours before being found). To explain, she lives alone, all her neighbours are elderly, in poor health or have passed away and I live the nearest (about an hour's drive away). It was sheer luck I had decided to visit that day and luck that my other aunt couldn't get hold of her and asked a neighbour to go and check on her.
Before this happened we were at the stage of monitoring her as a lot of strange things had happened and a mini assessment had been carried out by a really helpful community health nurse. She scored 26 and I felt that was pretty good and wasn't too concerned initially. However the real worry is that she has been wandering a lot at night, is convinced she has people living with her, has fallen a few times and - most worryingly - just not eating or drinking enough, so much so that she has dramatically lost weight. Also setting the table and cooking meals for people who were not coming. Some of this I have witnesses and other incidents told to me when I went to see neighbours.
In the hospital she veers from a calm acceptance to packing her bags to leave and saying there is nothing wrong. Tonight she was the best I have seen her over the past week, but when I went yesterday she thought it was the first time I had visited and asked me about the house where she grew up.
So to my questions ...
She has been in hospital for a week and I have been fortunate in that social services seem to be taking the situation seriously. A risk assessment is taking place this week which I am attending. Are there key things I should ask and how do I approach things if she decided she wants nothing to do with carers coming into the house? (this is a real concern as she is reluctant to accept help even from family). At the moment 3 times a day is being suggested, subject to the risk assessment. Also, if they say Ok to carers and she says Ok what advice can anyone give to deal with her coming home? My mum and another aunt are happy to be there for the first few days but unfortunately none of us are in a position to be able to pop in every day.
It has taken a fair bit to get other family members to take on board that this situation is more than a blip. But at the same time on one of her good days I wonder if it's me getting things out of proportion! From what I have read here this feeling is not unusual?
I have lots of questions and worries and concerns but some advice for the next week or so would be great just now.
Also, anyone know roughly how quickly (or slowly) care gets put in place? I am anxious of raising expectations with my aunt as I know she does want to be at home (even though sometimes she thinks she is at home).
Many thanks and best wishes to all.
Linda M.