Just Realized!

[lynnpc]

Hello everyone, here's a bit of our background. My Mum lives with me on the Isle of Wight, she is 87 and has recently been diagnosed with late onset Alzheimer's. Mum has got COPD and had a chest infection that developed into pneumonia that put her in hospital in October of last year, she was in there for just over 3 weeks and then in a care home for 3 weeks while I got a stair lift installed (we live in a first floor maisonette) and a care package put in place (that actually didn't happen and we had no-one visit until Mum had been home for 4 weeks). Mum's memory was not brilliant and got progressively worse whilst in there so she was referred to the Memory Clinic. I care for Mum by myself now and am very happy to do it and know that I am only a phone call away from help from the authorities should I need it and our Doctors which are very supportive. My Sisters, Brother and their families all live on the Mainland and all have their own physical problems and can't get over here very often but we speak to them every day and it's lovely having the phone support if not the physical one.

This seems to be a very long introduction, sorry about that. What I really wanted to say was that I have only just realized that I can't talk to Mum like I used to, her memory is shot to pieces and she asks the same questions over and over and over again which I don't mind and just answer as if it's the first time she's asked it. Also at the moment I am struggling with trying not to tell her anything new or saying too much as she can't retain anything I tell her, but I guess that will come with practice.

Hope this all makes sense, I do tend to ramble on at times. Thank you all so much for all the posts you have put on this site I have learnt so much and am very grateful to be able to 'talk' to you all.

With Love, Lynn x

 

[irismary]

Well done Lynn, I think you are doing the right thing. My mom saved some Christmas cards and must have asked 100 plus times who they are from - I don't actually know exactly - one is from a carer and the other from someone who put a show on at the home. You have taken on a lot though so please make sure you get some time for yourself - day care for mom or sitters - so you can get out. It will be good for both of you. Best wishes

 

[Lawson58]

Hi Lynn,

I know exactly what you are talking about. We had been at my daughter's place for dinner last night and heaven knows what set him off but OH spent the half hour drive home going on about capital punishment and people I had never heard of. He hardly stopped to take a breath. I have become very good at making indeterminate noises and 'hmmmmmms' and let him ramble. He also switches subjects in mid conversation which gets a bit disconcerting for others who haven't realized that he has AD or don't understand that he is slipping and that things are changing.

We don't really have in depth conversations anymore. He can't relate to what I say so my role is now to check and make sure he has had his medication, tell him what he needs to do before we go out etc. Dementia can destroy relationships and this often starts long before there is a diagnosis and I really admire those who manage to keep their relationships healthy and loving in the face of pretty stressful behaviour.

Keep up the good work. It's never easy but some things will get easier and others will get harder. You are doing your best.

 

[rosy18]

Hi Lynn welcome to TP. I like you am my Mums carer and I have learned so much from TP it really is a life saver so keep on posting there will always be somebody there to help and support.
It sounds like you're doing a great job Best wishes to you and your Mum xx

 

[lynnpc]

Thank you

Hello irismary, Lawson58 and rosy18. Thank you for the welcome you gave me, it's funny how you can feel so close to people you have never met and know that you are supported by them all because of this vile disease. I know my Mum would be so happy for me knowing that you are always there for me. If I in turn can be of support to you and others then that is one good thing to come out of this and I have always looked for the good rather than the bad in things, we just have to remember to do that as much as we can. With Love xxx