I don't post here too often - more of a lurker really. I just want to rant a bit if you don't mind.
My Dad has deteriorated so much in the past few weeks. Mum is 82 and in a wheelchair following a stroke, and she is at the end of her tether with him. His behaviour gets more and more difficult to cope with, I have spend ages with them tonight, trying to persuade Dad that he must not go out tonight - he is saying that he must 'go home'.
They live just a few streets away from me. He gets increasingly agitated, is adamant that he lives somewhere else, and Mum is terrified that he will find the keys and go out. It's bitterly cold here. He raves about us having 'no right to keep him a prisoner' . I'm sitting here with the 24-hr phone number for Social Care Direct, just in case.
He has always been the most mild-mannered man you could meet - never ever raised his voice, I think the worse word he ever used to say was 'Damn'. He now uses the worse imaginable words - calls my Mum a 'bitch-*******' (sorry if that offends anyone.)
On Mondays he goes to an Alzheimers day centre. He has always enjoyed it - they have a 'gravy dinner' as he calls it, play games, make a Christmas card or two. The last four weeks they have had to bring him home early, as he got very upset, was crying and screaming. He now believes that, instead of it being run by the nicest ladies you could meet - it's actually run by a gang of prostitutes.
They put him him in a cage, and dance round him - with no pants on.
They say that he is still welcome to go there, despite his outbursts, and that they are used to challanging behavoiur. I can't decide what to do - every week it seems to get worse.
We have the CPN visiting next week, and am going to ask her about some respite care. When Dad is calm, you can sometimes see the man he was through the fog of Alzheimers, and Mum says she will look after him till her dying breath. When he is 'off on one', she says she could cheerfully hold the pillow over his face, if he would keep still.
D'you know, I don't know who I feel sorry for the most - Dad, who lives in the nightmare of bewilderment that Alzheimers brings, or Mum, whose last years on the planet are being made a living hell. We have regular visits from the CPN, and from various people who take Dad out for an hour or two, our GP is always willing to visit. I go round most days, as do the rest of my family. But it's not enough any more. I can't see any other way forward than to find a nursing home for him.
Sorry if I've gone on a bit - typing it helps to put my thoughts in order a bit.
They should be in bed by now....fingers crossed for a peaceful night.....
jks
My Dad has deteriorated so much in the past few weeks. Mum is 82 and in a wheelchair following a stroke, and she is at the end of her tether with him. His behaviour gets more and more difficult to cope with, I have spend ages with them tonight, trying to persuade Dad that he must not go out tonight - he is saying that he must 'go home'.
They live just a few streets away from me. He gets increasingly agitated, is adamant that he lives somewhere else, and Mum is terrified that he will find the keys and go out. It's bitterly cold here. He raves about us having 'no right to keep him a prisoner' . I'm sitting here with the 24-hr phone number for Social Care Direct, just in case.
He has always been the most mild-mannered man you could meet - never ever raised his voice, I think the worse word he ever used to say was 'Damn'. He now uses the worse imaginable words - calls my Mum a 'bitch-*******' (sorry if that offends anyone.)
On Mondays he goes to an Alzheimers day centre. He has always enjoyed it - they have a 'gravy dinner' as he calls it, play games, make a Christmas card or two. The last four weeks they have had to bring him home early, as he got very upset, was crying and screaming. He now believes that, instead of it being run by the nicest ladies you could meet - it's actually run by a gang of prostitutes.
They put him him in a cage, and dance round him - with no pants on. They say that he is still welcome to go there, despite his outbursts, and that they are used to challanging behavoiur. I can't decide what to do - every week it seems to get worse.
We have the CPN visiting next week, and am going to ask her about some respite care. When Dad is calm, you can sometimes see the man he was through the fog of Alzheimers, and Mum says she will look after him till her dying breath. When he is 'off on one', she says she could cheerfully hold the pillow over his face, if he would keep still.
D'you know, I don't know who I feel sorry for the most - Dad, who lives in the nightmare of bewilderment that Alzheimers brings, or Mum, whose last years on the planet are being made a living hell. We have regular visits from the CPN, and from various people who take Dad out for an hour or two, our GP is always willing to visit. I go round most days, as do the rest of my family. But it's not enough any more. I can't see any other way forward than to find a nursing home for him.
Sorry if I've gone on a bit - typing it helps to put my thoughts in order a bit.
They should be in bed by now....fingers crossed for a peaceful night.....
jks
