Hi I have just had another call from Dad's partner, who I have tried very hard to support over the last 12 months or so. I started putting in the extra effort because I am so grateful to all the support and love she gives him. She sees him on more of a day to day basis, as she is local and I live an hour away and work. She is so good to him, but her long phone calls, detailing every small event, hicup, outburst are doing my head in. She clearly doesn't want to talk in detail to her own children and I don't know if it's to protect Dads dignity, or to protect them but I am dealing with the loss of my Dad, all the greiving before he is gone and it is very sad, and I don't feel I can be there to support her so much. The last comment was that she didn't feel she should have to clear him up and get him changed when he had an accident at her house, when she had taken him back there for lunch, because 'we' (she's not) are paying all this money for him to live in the care home, has made me really cross. What else was she going to do? I know it's horrible and Dad would have been difficult and it's not what anyone would want. and sorry for being angry, I just need to unload. I know that she loves him and she is a genuinely lovely lady, I just can't keep supporting her emotionally. I have taken action and have had an assesment for some councelling, but as things aren't in place yet I needed to unload here. I don't think it's fair for me to unload on my friends anymore, and I hope someone will understand and no one will judge me here for feeling this anger. I am sure it is all displaced as my main anger is with this totally (and I'd like to use strong swear words here) horrible disease.