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Just need to have a 'virtual' scream

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
413
We went out this morning in the car, my PWD got a bit angry when he found he hadn't got his wallet with him, did some swearing about people stealing it, I told him it was at home, he said he didn't have a home! Anyway we got busy and he forgot about it. Then came home had some lunch and went over to see my mum. I sent him out into the garden to do some weeding (she has loads of weeds so that kept him busy and he seemed happy enough). Got home and I gave him a snack but now he's sitting there muttering away to himself, he's got no money, no one likes him, there was supposed to be 4 people here, I don't have anything, can't do anything can I....... and so it goes on, it drives me bananas!!!! I need to clear up the kitchen, I'd like to get a few minutes to myself, I've kept him occupied all day and still it's not enough. I feel like screaming ....... so doing it via a rant on here instead! Thank you.
 

Vitesse

Registered User
Oct 26, 2016
168
I’m joining in the scream!! In fact this morning I went into the kitchen and had a real one!!
 

marionq

Registered User
Apr 24, 2013
6,034
Scotland
Try singing if you can’t scream. My youngest daughter has a very demanding job and joined a Rock Choir so that once a week she can sing her head off with a bunch of cheerful people. If you look online you’ll find a Rock Choir near you - hopefully!
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
61,069
68
Dundee
The rock choir sounds like a good idea - in the meantime - scream away here!:)
 

Banjomansmate

Registered User
Jan 13, 2019
1,613
Dorset
Failing the Rock Choir find a really noisy pop/rock track to play and sing along loudly to. Forget the neighbours for once.

Or turn up the volume and try this! Warning, flashing lights.

 

karaokePete

Registered User
Jul 23, 2017
5,273
N Ireland
The rock choir is a good idea.

As my forum name suggests, I like karaoke. Last year we were going through a very rough patch and I found myself singing some heavy metal songs at karaoke. On one occasion as I handed the mike back the DJ asked "Do you feel better now?". She was spot on - I did!

A good scream, melodic or not, works wonders.
 

Starbright

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
497
It’s true @White Rose a good scream always seem to help.....checked out the rock choir... sadly nearest is 20 miles away ...but what a great idea getting people together....my personal favourite belt out a song with Neal Diamond .😊
I do have a flower rescue spray ((not sure if I can name it)) it’s quite good and does help sometimes.
(((((( Hugs everyone))) A x
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
405
I had a silent disco whilst cooking lunch today. Works if you can’t have loud music in the house. Plugged my headphones in and danced away whilst peeling spuds, making cauliflower cheese, chopping parsnips...stirring gravy :D:p
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
413
Ah thank you all, you've made me smile. Will check out the Rock Choir, sounds interesting. I do sing along to the radio (badly), it does help. He's still chuntering away, talking all through the TV programmes, but tomorrow is a work day so I get a bit of peace! Latest this evening is that everything in this house belongs to him - even the keyboard that I bought a few weeks ago, he absolutely insists that it's his but he'll let me play it when I want to!!
 

Bikerbeth

Registered User
Feb 11, 2019
944
Bedford
Keep screaming as necessary. I would love to join a rock choir but if I did I think everyone else would leave. My friends at school told me never to sing out loud and just mime the words :confused:
 

Lawson58

Registered User
Aug 1, 2014
2,073
Victoria, Australia
Ah thank you all, you've made me smile. Will check out the Rock Choir, sounds interesting. I do sing along to the radio (badly), it does help. He's still chuntering away, talking all through the TV programmes, but tomorrow is a work day so I get a bit of peace! Latest this evening is that everything in this house belongs to him - even the keyboard that I bought a few weeks ago, he absolutely insists that it's his but he'll let me play it when I want to!!
I have been known on occasion to drive out to a nice quiet country road and have a real scream, maybe more than one!
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
413
Oh dear, so many of us need to scream. No one who doesn't deal with what we do on a daily basis has a clue do they. I was thinking yesterday how huge the stress is when you have to be looking after their needs from the minute they wake to the minute they go to sleep and often during the night as well, when there is not a minute to yourself. My partner is more demanding than a child, even on the days I work, as soon as I collect him from day care it starts, wanting attention, attention attention, 'talking' all the time, making sure he goes to the toilet and then flushing and often cleaning it, giving him tissues when his nose is running, cooking, helping him brush his teeth and get undressed for bed, wake up in the night to put the bathroom light on so he can use the toilet, then talking him back to sleep...... I'm beginning to dread being home, dreading the weekends, dreading his mood swings. I've heard that the PWDs worst traits are often magnified with the disease, I wonder if it's true, if it is then mine was very spoilt and self centred when he was a child, maybe because he was an only child. Here I am waffling on when the fact is he can't help it and would be horrified if he knew this is how his life has turned out. So unfair.
 

Splashing About

Registered User
Oct 20, 2019
405
I
Oh dear, so many of us need to scream. No one who doesn't deal with what we do on a daily basis has a clue do they. I was thinking yesterday how huge the stress is when you have to be looking after their needs from the minute they wake to the minute they go to sleep and often during the night as well, when there is not a minute to yourself. My partner is more demanding than a child, even on the days I work, as soon as I collect him from day care it starts, wanting attention, attention attention, 'talking' all the time, making sure he goes to the toilet and then flushing and often cleaning it, giving him tissues when his nose is running, cooking, helping him brush his teeth and get undressed for bed, wake up in the night to put the bathroom light on so he can use the toilet, then talking him back to sleep...... I'm beginning to dread being home, dreading the weekends, dreading his mood swings. I've heard that the PWDs worst traits are often magnified with the disease, I wonder if it's true, if it is then mine was very spoilt and self centred when he was a child, maybe because he was an only child. Here I am waffling on when the fact is he can't help it and would be horrified if he knew this is how his life has turned out. So unfair.
I have pondered the whole magnification of traits thing because my mum had become quite argumentative and difficult. Now she’s quieter and sleepy a lot of the time (end stage) and that has given me space to reflect. One thing I feel very sad about is the loss of my memory of her pre dementia. All that fills my head is dementia related horror stories. I’d like to remember not time BC or AD …but BD Before Dementia.
 

White Rose

Registered User
Nov 4, 2018
413
It will come, I promise.
It is nearly three years now since mum died and I can remember all the good times again. The sad memories are there too, but they no longer dominate
I'm worried that I'm forgetting what my partner was like before this horrible disease, so often I wish I could just have a few minutes with him as he was pre-Alzheimer's, I don't want the only memories to be him as he is now.
 

Starbright

Registered User
Apr 8, 2018
497
I'm worried that I'm forgetting what my partner was like before this horrible disease, so often I wish I could just have a few minutes with him as he was pre-Alzheimer's, I don't want the only memories to be him as he is now.
When my oh is fast asleep and relaxed , I see him as the kind caring man he once was and I love him .Thats what I hope I will remember. However the times before and after he’s sleeping I just cannot feel that way.
A x