• All threads and posts regarding Coronavirus COVID-19 can now be found in our new area specifically for Coronavirus COVID-19 discussion.

    You can access this area by going to the Health and wellbeing forum >here< or you can directly access the area >here<.

Just need somewhere to say this...

sarahjg

Registered User
Apr 15, 2015
17
Dad moved to a nursing home from a care home that we were very happy with yesterday. He was settled and happy there, always eager to say how much he liked it. We were very lucky that they were able to wait until he had a nursing home place rather than admitting him to hospital. Went to see him this evening on the way home from work ( as I always do) and he was very unsettled.. hasn't called me by my name for months but while I was there he shouted out to me ( by name) to help him and "get me out of this" - i know he is in the best place for him but feeling very helpless.. :( I know that there are so many of you going through this and don't want to moan- just wanted to say this somewhere as can't tell mum and my brother x
 

Saffie

Registered User
Mar 26, 2011
22,506
Near Southampton
O dear, I doubt that I have anything to say to make you feel better but as it is late, I didn't want you to be feeling so bad tonight without at least saying I understand.
It is so hard for you to see your father so unsettled in a new home. It must be so difficult for him to understand why everything is different, poor man, and it will take a bit of time for him to find his bearings there.
The fact that he liked the old home might help eventually as you know it's possible for him to be happy in a home. So many people aren't and yearn for their old home. I hope he settles very soon and is as happy here as he was before. Very best wishes. :)
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
70,658
Kent
Hopefully it will just be temporary disorientation and confusion Sarah and your dad will settle soon.
 

sarahjg

Registered User
Apr 15, 2015
17
Thank you so much for your kind words… feel so much better just saying this ' out loud' - thank you for the reassurance. x
O dear, I doubt that I have anything to say to make you feel better but as it is late, I didn't want you to be feeling so bad tonight without at least saying I understand.
It is so hard for you to see your father so unsettled in a new home. It must be so difficult for him to understand why everything is different, poor man, and it will take a bit of time for him to find his bearings there.
The fact that he liked the old home might help eventually as you know it's possible for him to be happy in a home. So many people aren't and yearn for their old home. I hope he settles very soon and is as happy here as he was before. Very best wishes. :)
 

Quilty

Registered User
Aug 28, 2014
1,051
GLASGOW
Any change is hard

Hello,

Keep hope that it may just be the change that is making your Dad unhappy. The only good thing about dementia is that he may forget the old home soon.

Its hard but you may just have to ride it out and reassure him. Don't keep it all to yourself so keep posting.

Sending you strength so sustain you
Love Quilty
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,628
South coast
It sounds uncaring, but it might be a good idea to not visit him for a few days to allow him to settle. Often, seeing family members is the trigger for them to insist that they dont want to stay.
 

WIFE

Registered User
May 23, 2014
856
WEST SUSSEX
I do sincerely hope your Father settles soon and you are able to enjoy your visits with him again. Change must be so very confusing for them when there is dementia as well. Talk to the NH staff and ask them the best way for you to respond to his distress.
Thinking of you WIFE
 

sarahjg

Registered User
Apr 15, 2015
17
Thanks again for all the support here… Dad seems to have got through the rest of the week by sleeping.. a lot. As I have been lucky to find a nursing home really near I have been calling in every day but often get mixed / contradictory reports from staff. Good news from today though .. he seemed a lot brighter- I even had a smile and quite a few kisses. Thinking of all of you coping with this horrible disease. Take care x