just lost my mum

[webby123]

its a tougth day today not being helped by lift guys coming to remove the stair lift,i still dont feel any different then the first day mum passed away ,i miss her so much

 

[jorgieporgie]

It's still early days Webby and your still grieving. Go in your beautiful garden and get some me time the weather is beautiful today, well it is in Hull. Hope you feel a bit better later. Surrounding you in big hugs xxx

 

[webby123]

thanks very much im having to wait inside in case i miss them,so stripping wallpaper

 

[webby123]

If roses grow in heaven
If roses grow in heaven,
Lord pleae pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Mother’s arms
and tell her they’re from me.Tell her I love her and miss her,
and when she turns to smile,
place a kiss upon her cheek
and hold her for awhile.Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
but there’s an ache within my heart
that will never go away.
flower show pt 2 007.jpg (302.7 KB)

 

[Quilty]

Webby, that is a lovely poem. I still feel i have a big empty hole inside me. We can only keep going. Im sure that is what your mum would have wanted. Lots if love quilty

 

[webby123]

thanks quilty,its such a struggle at the moment ,looks like my family have cut me off again not seen them since the funeral,i had little help from them when mum was around,looks like im on my own,i dont know about you i seem to be the same since mum passed away

 

[Quilty]

Im lucky i have chikdren to take care of. Only time will make it easier as we learn to live with our Mums being gone. One day at a time webby.

 

[anon36]

Sorry to hear of your loss Webby, I lost my Mum this week and even though I wasn't with her all the time as you were it's very difficult. Definitely appreciate all that time that you spent with her and all the things you did for her that would make her really be thankful for having you in her life. My Dad is hoping to keep the garden looking as nice as my Mum did and I'm now thinking of planting something in memory of my Mum as well. We already have a cherry tree in the garden in memory of my OH's mum who passed away 4 years ago at only 56.
Just think of all those years that you enjoyed being with your mum, all those memories you have of those years and maybe try and absorb yourself in some different hobbies and of course, the gardening.
I can relate to the situation where relatives don't help out much as my OH had the same problem with her Mum, her Dad had to deal with everything with barely 2 pennies to rub together yet she had two very wealthy brothers that didn't help at all...
Hope things start to feel brighter for you soon.

 

[webby123]

thanks very much am just taking one day at a time thats all i can do,maybe im reading to much into my brothers family,i dont understand why he offered to go out then when i said ok didnt say anything else,i sensed something wrong when i went around to collect wallpaper stripper,sister in law answered kept me on doorstep wasnt talkitive and gave me mums suitcase back wih pics in,have decided im just going to carry on best i can and leave the ball in there court
anon 36 sorry to hear about your mum,a friend contacted me and wants to take me canoeing which i have never done so looking forward to that
i have planted a wildflower meadow in mums memory full of loads of poppys

 

[jorgieporgie]

Morning Webby, I wouldn't worry to much about your Brother maybe he his grieving in his own way and feeling a bit guilty that everything was left to you. I'm sure he will come round, it's early days. Your doing the right thing leaving the ball in his court. What a brilliant photo of your Mum she looks lovely. xx

 

[webby123]

my mind is all over the place,today i remembered how brother broke down in church when he was talking about me looking after mum i suspect he feels guilty as he wasnt here so much but all 3 of his daughters have had major problems,so i decided to text him and invite him to gig and he is going tonight,he also told me was going up the grave but couldnt face it,i will keep close eye on him as you say jorgieporgie he is greiiving to not just me

 

[webby123]

my head at the moment is all over the place,i feel like im living in a daze dosnt seem real,i still feel guilt for when i lost it with mum shouting at her,99.9% of the time we had a great relationship so why am thinking of this and feeling bad i dont know!!

 

[Quilty]

Hello Webby, you did your best and what you did was so much more than most people would have been able to give. Im sure your mum would tell you only to think of the good times, if she could.

 

[Kjn]

Webby you did everything you could. You will remember the times you wish you did more. My OH is going through that losing his dad in January and he didn't have dementia. I'm sure it's a natural process. He is starting to go back remembering more good times though.
Xx

 

[Scarlett123]

my head at the moment is all over the place,i feel like im living in a daze dosnt seem real,i still feel guilt for when i lost it with mum shouting at her,99.9% of the time we had a great relationship so why am thinking of this and feeling bad i dont know!!

It's all part of the grieving system, and bereavement, webby. I was in a befuddled state after John died, for quite a while, and you've had a huge loss in your life. And if you only "lost" it for 0.01% of the time, you did fantastically.

Be kind to yourself.

 

[webby123]

went up to the grave after work today and bumped into a lady i met a time before up there,she has lost her son to cancer,we end up talking for ages she seems to be going through the same as me,feel better for our chat
im still struggling to come to terms with it ,i dont think i ever will,im just going day to day

 

[LadyA]

went up to the grave after work today and bumped into a lady i met a time before up there,she has lost her son to cancer,we end up talking for ages she seems to be going through the same as me,feel better for our chat
im still struggling to come to terms with it ,i dont think i ever will,im just going day to day

That's all you can do, Webby. Eventually, you'll have a "scar" rather than the raw, open wound of loss you have at the moment, and while the scar will always be tender, in time it won't have the searing pain you're feeling at the moment.

I think I will bring some flowers to my husband's grave tomorrow, now that the weather seems to have settled down a bit. William loved flowers, the more colourful the better.

 

[webby123]

that sounds a nice idea lady a ,although i think we have snow forecasted here for the weekend

 

[LadyA]

that sounds a nice idea lady a ,although i think we have snow forecasted here for the weekend

 

[webby123]

feeling a bit down last few days,i still miss mum so much,just like the first day she passed away,a few friends have been great but i dont let on to them how i really feel,they all think im coping well,my brother and family are going back to the way it was when mum was alive,very little contact unless they want something,i feel totally alone help that i was promised by vicar and carer assoiation has disapeared