1. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,127
    eastern USA
    Well yes by all means, if you know the science behind this, it would be so very wonderful if you could make an entry in her name that won, sometime now or in future. What a wonderful skill she shared with you! I'm so happy you have something like this that you can take into the future and share with others, like sharing her, all over again, for the next generation. Please please consider doing this. What an honor, for her and for you.

    (I do hope you have that handsome cup. O my, I'm so happy for her and for you.)
     
  2. webby123

    webby123 Registered User

    Mar 14, 2016
    181
    well thanks for putting the idea in my head,i have shared quite a few pictures of her on facebook and everyone has loved it plus the 3 grandchildren have done 2 big posters full of pictures of her so everyone who comes back after funeral will see them
     
  3. CJinUSA

    CJinUSA Registered User

    Jan 20, 2014
    1,127
    eastern USA
    That's wonderful. I am sorry I haven't been following your posts as I've been working through my own life issues, in addition to the grief.

    So if you have children, what a wonderful project to think about having them help with.

    And the photos are a lovely way to share her life with everyone but also a way to help the grandchildren through their own grief. They feel it, even if they might not be able to express it the way adults know how to "hear" it.

    I hope you'll consider putting your skill to work on a new rose in her honor. What an amazing gift she gave you, in roses, as in life.
     
  4. MAMMYGRANNY

    MAMMYGRANNY Registered User

    Jan 26, 2016
    55
    ((((((Webby123))))))
    I have just joined talking point so do not know your story but I just want to offer my sincere condolences on the loss of your Mum - she looks such a lovely lady in the photo.
    This is such a very sad time and it is only natural that you should grieve now - try not to pressure yourself into doing things just yet - ten years caring is a really long time and now you need to rest and build yourself up.
    A bit of pampering will make you feel good too - getting the hair done or having a massage or a facial when you have the energy to do it will give you a lift.
    When you feel ready do try and get a short walk in every morning - it really gives you a boost for hours afterwards and gradually you will get to the stage that you will feel able to draw up a training programme for your cycle from lands end to John O'Groats! That sounds like a really good project and as you develop your plans for it you will find that many people will come on board to help you with fundraising etc.and before you know it things will seem much brighter in your life.
    For now though just take it easy and be kind to yourself. I hope you have a lovely funeral service to honour your mother.
    Thinking of you and praying for comfort for you in your loss.
     
  5. webby123

    webby123 Registered User

    Mar 14, 2016
    181
    thank you very much,i have not been on here long either,at the moment i find it easier to keep busy during the day,because the funeral is a long way off i have gone back to work,as work has been briliant with me i have been off since first week in jan,thats when mum was admitted with dehydration after a chest infection was only supposed to be one day but it developed into almost 6 weeks,sadly her dementia got worst,she also lost her legs because she was in a bed so long,the last 3 weeks we were hanging around for them to sort care package out and in the end they told us we couldnt have one ,so i sorted out at home for her ,she came back for 12 days,in that time she had changed a lot hardly no communication,only eat puree food and didnt drink enougth ,chest infection came back she was readmitted for 5 days until she passed away
    cj in usa i dont have any children there my brothers,i can it as effected the middle child in particular her and mum had a kind of special bond,it was a standing joke when ever one was ill the other was even to the point they would be in hospital the same time ,she suffers from epilepsy,like mum she dosnt talk much just works it out herself,she hasnt been to the house since mum passed away,we are just giving her time
     
  6. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Webby, you have some good plans for sometime in the future so I think you are doing well. My Mums funeral is on Friday and I feel I am treading water until then. My children are taking it very hard, and I am focusing my time on them.

    I lost my dad to cancer 20 years ago. I put the best, healthiest and happiest photo of him I could find up in my house where I could see it. I also kept a gratitude journal and read it when i was feeling hopeless. These things helped me in my grieving. Yes you will cry, feel hopeless and so very sad and lost. You had a wonderful person you loved which was something so special. Some day that will actually sustain you. You get to keep the love you shared.

    We are walking a new road here now - survivor daughters. We go on for them as they would want this beyond everything.

    I will be thinking of you and remember you and the other surviving daughters and TP friends in my prayers
     
  7. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    442
    My thoughts are with you, it's still raw for you. Your story about the roses is lovely, keep thinking how you and your mum enjoyed that special moment.
    Maybe you could continue showing, or even donate a small cup to the show in her honour.
     
  8. jorgieporgie

    jorgieporgie Registered User

    Mar 2, 2016
    1,985
    YORKSHIRE
    My thoughts are with you too Webby. Your Mum looks lovely. It is only a short time since her passing so you are still grieving which is normal. Once the funeral is over life will pick up I am sure. Just think she is still around you every day you just don't see her.
    God bless and take care xxx
     
  9. Chaucer 1931

    Chaucer 1931 Registered User

    Mar 30, 2014
    226
    I'm so sorry for your loss Webby,please try and be kind to yourself,you were both each other's world for so long,I lost my mum earlier this year and I was her only carer for about the same length of time as you were for your mum..the waves of grief come and go,but it affects us the carers who actively were part of caring for their loved one..take it one day/week at a time.X
     
  10. webby123

    webby123 Registered User

    Mar 14, 2016
    181
    thanks for messages i am taking it a day at a time,for some reason i seem to be thinking of the bad times there wasnt many and feeling guilty which i know is stupid as we had so much great time 99.9% was great but i cant seem to clear my head of those times
     
  11. sonia owen

    sonia owen Registered User

    So sorry Webby for the loss of your dear mum. I know how you are feeling after losing mum my best friend too, in January. It is hard. Being busy is kind of the key to stop you thinking so much. I am finding now that my body is telling me its exhausted and I need to try and be kind to myself. Easier said than done. Hugs coming your way.
    Love Sonia xxxx
     
  12. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    What a lovely post xxx :)
     
  13. webby123

    webby123 Registered User

    Mar 14, 2016
    181
    yes i know im pushing myself at the moment im driven to getting garden and house right for people coming back after funeral although when thats gone it will be something else,its the only way i can cope,i have been invited by my family down to cornwall for easter but just cant face leaving here ,im here with my memories
    o mammygranny im a guy so not sure about facial and pampering lol
     
  14. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Thanks Scarlett. I find it so comforting that somewhere there are women who feel exactly the same as me and fought dementia with their parent to. If we can help each other we can go on. It means we keep being carers too. Love to all.
     
  15. webby123

    webby123 Registered User

    Mar 14, 2016
    181
    ah quilty survivor sons to lol
     
  16. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Yes, sons too. Sorry! My mistake. Many here are women but i should never assume.
     
  17. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    What about some massage? Very relaxing and therapeutic. You can even be all butch and get a swedish massage. I actually cried - it was agony!
     
  18. webby123

    webby123 Registered User

    Mar 14, 2016
    181
    think i will need them once im cycling again!
     
  19. webby123

    webby123 Registered User

    Mar 14, 2016
    181
    finding it tough today its been 3 long weeks since i lost her,i think about her all the time and miss her so much,nothing i do seems to be worth doing :(
     
  20. LadyA

    LadyA Registered User

    Oct 19, 2009
    13,478
    Ireland
    It's going to take time, Webby. How long? How long have you got?! Almost seven months since my husband died, and although it has gotten easier, there are still many days when it doesn't seem worthwhile doing anything.
    But it does, inch by inch, get easier to live with.
     

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