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Just lost my dad

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,667
0
South coast
People with dementia often go quite suddenly in the end and an infection/anaesthetic/pain will often rapidly progess dementia. My mum fell and broke her hip. It was repaired and at forst she seemed to be recovering well, but it propelled her quite suddenly to End of Life and a few weeks later she passed away
 

Andy69

Registered User
Feb 21, 2021
20
0
Guildford
People with dementia often go quite suddenly in the end and an infection/anaesthetic/pain will often rapidly progess dementia. My mum fell and broke her hip. It was repaired and at forst she seemed to be recovering well, but it propelled her quite suddenly to End of Life and a few weeks later she passed away
My dad got Covid In December. Yet the week before he was still working with me at the age of 87. He went to hospital and we are told the Covid sped up the dementia and this is what I’m struggling to understand. 🤷‍♂️
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
14,667
0
South coast
My dad got Covid In December. Yet the week before he was still working with me at the age of 87. He went to hospital and we are told the Covid sped up the dementia and this is what I’m struggling to understand. 🤷‍♂️
Yes, infection can do that and covid is really nasty. Before mum fell and broke her hip she had problems with mobility, but she could still hold a conversation, knew who I was, could feed herself and I was able still to take her to the cafe down the road for coffee and cake. Within a week of coming back after the hip surgery she lost all her mobility and her swallow - her dementia had suddenly progressed to last stages and end of life.
Im afraid its what happens.
 

Andy69

Registered User
Feb 21, 2021
20
0
Guildford
Yes, infection can do that and covid is really nasty. Before mum fell and broke her hip she had problems with mobility, but she could still hold a conversation, knew who I was, could feed herself and I was able still to take her to the cafe down the road for coffee and cake. Within a week of coming back after the hip surgery she lost all her mobility and her swallow - her dementia had suddenly progressed to last stages and end of life.
Im afraid its what happens.
That sounds so familiar with the swallowing and complete lack of movement. Dad stopped walking and we had to feed him and change him and to do all that to a parent was simply brutal. I think having him in a home for just a week was a blessing. He saved us from years of misery I feel.
 

Jale

Registered User
Jul 9, 2018
515
0
So sorry for your loss of your Dad, take care and be kind to yourself
 

Wildflowerlady

Registered User
Sep 30, 2019
417
0
Sorry to hear of your loss @Andy69 . My dad walked into a Care Home in November 2020 his carers that went into him four times a day could no longer cope as his mixed dementia eventually made him a bit aggressive. My sister and I that live close also supported dad but neither of us could look after dad full time or even replace the carers visits. Dad had already started to decline his lunch and his appetite after breakfast was poor. Dad was admitted into hospital by the Care Home for 16 days and in that time he declined at a fast rate, dad could not eat or swallow safely so was declared Nil By Mouth. The hospital discovered dad had a bleed in his stomach which they did treat successfully however it was also discovered by scan that at some point recently he had also had a small stroke. My lovely dad that had somewhat reluctantly walked into the Care Home with me was sent back to the Care Home End of Life where he passed away around 7 weeks after first going into it. My dad also had a positive covid test result as all staff and residents were tested the week before he passed however I suppose it was classed as dad died with covid not because of it. Covid was not mentioned on my dads death certificate which I was a little surprised at however the Funeral Directors would not accept dad having his own clothes taken in or obviously going to see him in a chapel of rest. I had been completely honest with the Funeral Directors when making arrangements that he had a test which had been positive. Unfortunately as the Care Home did allow me to visit dad because he was End of Life and the positive test result only came back the day before he passed I did catch covid and was very ill. I had negative lateral flow tests on every visit to the Care Home and wore mask, gloves and apron. I had to be admitted to hospital after 12 days of being very unwell at home and sadly missed my dads funeral.
I'm afraid its very true that dementia can suddenly escalate and put someone at the End of Life stage when you least expect it. I thought my dad would be in Care Home for a lot longer than he was but it was not to be. Dad was 86 years old I am struggling to accept he has gone, I think the fact I was unable to attend his funeral has not helped.
 

jennifer1967

Registered User
Mar 15, 2020
2,367
0
Southampton
Sorry to hear of your loss @Andy69 . My dad walked into a Care Home in November 2020 his carers that went into him four times a day could no longer cope as his mixed dementia eventually made him a bit aggressive. My sister and I that live close also supported dad but neither of us could look after dad full time or even replace the carers visits. Dad had already started to decline his lunch and his appetite after breakfast was poor. Dad was admitted into hospital by the Care Home for 16 days and in that time he declined at a fast rate, dad could not eat or swallow safely so was declared Nil By Mouth. The hospital discovered dad had a bleed in his stomach which they did treat successfully however it was also discovered by scan that at some point recently he had also had a small stroke. My lovely dad that had somewhat reluctantly walked into the Care Home with me was sent back to the Care Home End of Life where he passed away around 7 weeks after first going into it. My dad also had a positive covid test result as all staff and residents were tested the week before he passed however I suppose it was classed as dad died with covid not because of it. Covid was not mentioned on my dads death certificate which I was a little surprised at however the Funeral Directors would not accept dad having his own clothes taken in or obviously going to see him in a chapel of rest. I had been completely honest with the Funeral Directors when making arrangements that he had a test which had been positive. Unfortunately as the Care Home did allow me to visit dad because he was End of Life and the positive test result only came back the day before he passed I did catch covid and was very ill. I had negative lateral flow tests on every visit to the Care Home and wore mask, gloves and apron. I had to be admitted to hospital after 12 days of being very unwell at home and sadly missed my dads funeral.
I'm afraid its very true that dementia can suddenly escalate and put someone at the End of Life stage when you least expect it. I thought my dad would be in Care Home for a lot longer than he was but it was not to be. Dad was 86 years old I am struggling to accept he has gone, I think the fact I was unable to attend his funeral has not helped.
hi @Wildflowerlady hope you are feeling better. it will take a long time to sink in especially as you have been so ill yourself. look after yourself
 

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