For the last few months I've been growing more and more aware that my husband's Monday group for early onset dementia is no longer able to meet his increasing needs.
To be honest, I half expected a call before Christmas to 'wind up' his time with them, so I was surprised when it carried through to this year.
I still knew his time there was limited though, so in January I attended a carers' conference where I was able to find out a lot more about available services.
It seemed that all the groups I wanted to try out meet on a Tuesday, so I ended up booking all Tuesdays off work during February in order to visit them all.
Then, last week, the need to find something new became even more crucial because, for the first time ever, my husband needed assistance to go to the loo at the day centre he attends one day per week. It's not a problem at the day centre, they have carers and it is all part of the service they provide. However, for the Monday group it would be a BIG problem - they simply do not provide that support.
Things didn't improve at home over the weekend, with my husband needing support for every visit to the loo because as he is struggling with his clothing, positioning and being able to clean himself up properly.
As a result, I kept him away from the Monday group yesterday rather than risk an incident there where he would be left to flounder.
Instead, today, we attended one of the Tuesday groups I am trying out this month. It is a memory cafe run by Crossroads and it was absolutely fantastic. Neither of us could get over the welcoming atmosphere, it was like 'coming home' to one big family.
I'd planned to stay an hour, we ended up staying 4hrs, enjoying copious cups of tea, biscuits, banter and even a lovely cooked two course meal. To add to the enjoyment there were a couple of carers from Scotland there, so my husband really enjoyed chatting about 'God's own country' with them.
On the way home he couldn't speak highly enough about the group and is already looking forward to going again (though we will still be trying out the other Tuesday groups this month too).
Anyway, we got home, had a cuppa and the phone rang. It was the organiser of the Monday group - ringing to talk about whether the group was still suitable for him!
I saved her the discomfort of having to say they thought it was time for him to leave. Instead I was able to tell her that I had already reached the same conclusion, that I felt that my husband had 'outgrown' the Monday group and that I had just returned from visiting a fantastic group where he would be very happy - and that there were also others to be looked into too.
I think she was a bit taken aback at first but also happy that plans were in place for the next stage. What could have been a difficult call turned into a positive discussion with us agreeing that my husband would not now return to the group.
He will still see them again though, there is a Singing for the Brain group starting in April and as far as I know he is next on the list to take part (it's just for 12 weeks) so he will get to see folk from the Monday group there.
I am definitely glad that I had started the search for a new group - and feel so lucky to have found something just in time!
To be honest, I half expected a call before Christmas to 'wind up' his time with them, so I was surprised when it carried through to this year.
I still knew his time there was limited though, so in January I attended a carers' conference where I was able to find out a lot more about available services.
It seemed that all the groups I wanted to try out meet on a Tuesday, so I ended up booking all Tuesdays off work during February in order to visit them all.
Then, last week, the need to find something new became even more crucial because, for the first time ever, my husband needed assistance to go to the loo at the day centre he attends one day per week. It's not a problem at the day centre, they have carers and it is all part of the service they provide. However, for the Monday group it would be a BIG problem - they simply do not provide that support.
Things didn't improve at home over the weekend, with my husband needing support for every visit to the loo because as he is struggling with his clothing, positioning and being able to clean himself up properly.
As a result, I kept him away from the Monday group yesterday rather than risk an incident there where he would be left to flounder.
Instead, today, we attended one of the Tuesday groups I am trying out this month. It is a memory cafe run by Crossroads and it was absolutely fantastic. Neither of us could get over the welcoming atmosphere, it was like 'coming home' to one big family.
I'd planned to stay an hour, we ended up staying 4hrs, enjoying copious cups of tea, biscuits, banter and even a lovely cooked two course meal. To add to the enjoyment there were a couple of carers from Scotland there, so my husband really enjoyed chatting about 'God's own country' with them.
On the way home he couldn't speak highly enough about the group and is already looking forward to going again (though we will still be trying out the other Tuesday groups this month too).
Anyway, we got home, had a cuppa and the phone rang. It was the organiser of the Monday group - ringing to talk about whether the group was still suitable for him!
I saved her the discomfort of having to say they thought it was time for him to leave. Instead I was able to tell her that I had already reached the same conclusion, that I felt that my husband had 'outgrown' the Monday group and that I had just returned from visiting a fantastic group where he would be very happy - and that there were also others to be looked into too.
I think she was a bit taken aback at first but also happy that plans were in place for the next stage. What could have been a difficult call turned into a positive discussion with us agreeing that my husband would not now return to the group.
He will still see them again though, there is a Singing for the Brain group starting in April and as far as I know he is next on the list to take part (it's just for 12 weeks) so he will get to see folk from the Monday group there.
I am definitely glad that I had started the search for a new group - and feel so lucky to have found something just in time!
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