So, my mother (PWD) has 8 weeks in hospital recently, by the end of which her cognition has nosedived. She went home mid November and I was hoping she would settle, but instead her condition has continued to deteriorate. She is often confused about which house she’s living in and it seems to me she thinks it is her childhood home. Long story short, with wandering in the night and a couple of falls last week, my 92 year father (who is himself very frail and has significant physical problems) has finally said he cannot cope and wants her to go into a suitable care home, I think this will mean an EMI unit as she is still continent and can wash, dress and feed herself, but is verbally abusive and I suspect likely to attempt physical abuse, not that she is strong but even a light shove would send both of them flying. The community nursing team is already involved so I phoned them this morning and uttered the magic words “dad cannot cope”, “vulnerable adult” and “safeguarding concerns “. The lovely occupational therapist asked what we thought was the best solution and I said care home, so she’s going to speak to memory nurse and social workers to get mums capacity formally assessed and start the wheels in motion. Mum qualifies for local authority funding so I suspect we will meet resistance but I shall stand firm on this. But...I feel awful having done this even though I know it is the best way to go.