1. Expert Q&A: Living well as a carer - Thurs 29 August, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of the person you care for will often come before your own. You may experience a range of difficult emotions and you may not have the time to do all the things you need to do. Caring can have a big impact on both your mental and physical health, as well as your overall wellbeing.

    Angelo, our Knowledge Officer (Wellbeing) is our expert on this topic. He will be here to answer your questions on Thursday 29 August between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Just having a brief bang of head against the wall

Discussion in 'I care for a person with dementia' started by Fullticket, Aug 31, 2017.

  1. Fullticket

    Fullticket Registered User

    Apr 19, 2016
    Chard, Somerset
    Typing this will get it out of the system!

    Yesterday she had an opticians appointment because her 'eyes were all funny.' Turns out she has been wearing glasses that were prescribed five years ago. No idea where her latest ones went and we thought we had removed all glasses from her, leaving her with her latest prescription ones only (unfortunately the same style). So where have they gone and where did the old ones come from? The best part of £250 on a new pair and two and a half hours in the opticians as she had forgotten what she was supposed to be answering before she could formulate the answer. She kept looking at me for a reply and I had to go out of the room, then the optician came out and said she was asking for me to answer the question, "Which is better - this or this?"

    When we left she said that, as we were shopping, could we go into Marks? There is no Marks but I walked her into a few charity shops and she just followed me around the clothes racks without looking at anything.

    Today was a care home day and I calmed down a bit after a bit of lunch with a friend. After I picked her up she followed me around the house, turning out drawers and cupboards and moving things. It is now almost 7pm and the house is in chaos. Her dinner is ready and she has gone to sleep in the armchair...

    Pass the wine bottle someone.:rolleyes:
  2. canary

    canary Registered User

    Feb 25, 2014
    South coast
    I hope you feel better now :)

    I think old glasses breed in drawers and cupboards! When mum was in her care home there was an optician who used to visit and test the residents eyes. He used to test them like babies/children in such a way that no answers were necessary. Might it be worthwhile finding an optician who can do that and is perhaps dementia aware?
  3. Linbrusco

    Linbrusco Registered User

    Mar 4, 2013
    Auckland...... New Zealand
    Mum is in a CH and her glasses have gone walkabouts. They were bifocals which she only got a year before going into care, but she complained all the time that they were scratched ( the bifocal line) and useless and couldnt see.
    I debated wether or not I should take her for an eye test but 18 mnths ago sge gad checks for glaucoma& cataracts and that was a mission itself.
    She seems to see distance fine though, and she doesnt read anymore apart from looking at pictures or photos but still seems to recognise what shes seeing... most of the time.

    Mum has several old pairs left at home with different prescriptions which my Dad thinks will do the trick! I think not!
  4. LilyJ

    LilyJ Registered User

    Apr 13, 2017
    We've had that with extremely expensive hearing aids! We were struggling to get her to hear, shouting, getting sore throats & frustration all round ; then one broke and we took it to the Hearing Shop and were told that those were her old hearing aids! We'd put what we thought were the old ones out of sight for 8 months so that they wouldn't get muddled up but clearly got them the wrong way round! Now she can hear better & we no longer get sore throats from shouting.
  5. Pear trees

    Pear trees Registered User

    Jan 25, 2015
    I thought I had found and thrown out every old pair of glasses in my mum's house, she just had 2 new pairs. Where she found the old Dierdre style ones that she could not see with remains a mystery.
  6. Fullticket

    Fullticket Registered User

    Apr 19, 2016
    Chard, Somerset
    Evidently they have formed a club between them with exclusive membership - a bit like that spontaneous dancing that erupts on train stations (there is a name for it but I forget) I now have an image of loads of old ladies break dancing at Waterloo:)
  7. Rosnpton

    Rosnpton Registered User

    Mar 19, 2017
    I bought two new pairs of glasses for mum in April as she deliberately broke them thinking this was a way out of the care home as,apparently,the optician would make her go to her 'old' address rather then the care home.

    They are clearly named.
    On Sunday she had someone else's on.
    When I asked her where hers were I was lying for saying they weren't hers!
    They were bright purple oval shaped metal.
    Hers were black plastic frames-one nearly round like old John Lennon style,the other rectangular librarian type!

    The carer told me she had taken them off the dinning table,put them on and refused to give them back. As she can been quite violent,they left it knowing I was going in that day.
    Even then,we had to 'trick'her into taking them off so we could clean them for her with the 'special wipes'.
    She didn't notice the slight of hand replacing them with one of her pairs

  8. Slugsta

    Slugsta Registered User

    Mum has always been very dependent on her glasses, I used to get very cross when I went into the CH and found her without them. However, I have recently realised that she really doesn't seem to notice whether she is wearing them or not. She doesn't read and, although the TV is usually on, she doesn't really watch TV, so I have stopped worrying about it now!

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