I am amicably separated for 18 mo. from my husband of 30 years. He was diagnosed five days ago. Likely stage 3 undetermined dementia but awaiting MRI to see if we can get more specific.
I myself have had chronic leukemia for 10 years and have to watch my stress levels, lest my situation flare up and require debilitating meds.
I separated from him because he tends toward narcissism and severe anxiety. Getting pulled back into his life, he lives 10 mins away, because of this. One child in town, who's 21, other two, 26 and 30, out of town. One coming back for a few days this week to help get things settled down.
At 59, he is considered early onset. He identifies with his work as a college professor, which he has been advised to quit, and he has been advised to stop driving - especially since two weeks ago he was stopped for a minor traffic violation and was jailed because the arresting officer thought he was intoxicated because of his confusion. He admitted to smoking pot earlier in the day (which he does to take the edge off the anxiety.) So there is that.
I can't let this take me down ,but already I feel the effects. I care about him but I was finding my own way again, my heart was healing as I put more and more distance between us. Now I'm back in it and I will not make my kids go this alone.
Yesterday my husband wept/howled in my arms. He called me several times yesterday. He is fairly lucid but judgment-impaired and when the anxiety kicks in, it’s worse. I can be present to him but is causing a lot of stress and of course I’m figuring all this out as I go but it’s only going to get worse and I’m worried about my own health. I wish my kids would come home but I’m not going to make them or even suggest it. I am contacting the Alzheimer’s Assn for support and I see two therapists this week.
I'm worried for him and my children but as much as anything i'm worried for myself.
Thanks for reading.
I myself have had chronic leukemia for 10 years and have to watch my stress levels, lest my situation flare up and require debilitating meds.
I separated from him because he tends toward narcissism and severe anxiety. Getting pulled back into his life, he lives 10 mins away, because of this. One child in town, who's 21, other two, 26 and 30, out of town. One coming back for a few days this week to help get things settled down.
At 59, he is considered early onset. He identifies with his work as a college professor, which he has been advised to quit, and he has been advised to stop driving - especially since two weeks ago he was stopped for a minor traffic violation and was jailed because the arresting officer thought he was intoxicated because of his confusion. He admitted to smoking pot earlier in the day (which he does to take the edge off the anxiety.) So there is that.
I can't let this take me down ,but already I feel the effects. I care about him but I was finding my own way again, my heart was healing as I put more and more distance between us. Now I'm back in it and I will not make my kids go this alone.
Yesterday my husband wept/howled in my arms. He called me several times yesterday. He is fairly lucid but judgment-impaired and when the anxiety kicks in, it’s worse. I can be present to him but is causing a lot of stress and of course I’m figuring all this out as I go but it’s only going to get worse and I’m worried about my own health. I wish my kids would come home but I’m not going to make them or even suggest it. I am contacting the Alzheimer’s Assn for support and I see two therapists this week.
I'm worried for him and my children but as much as anything i'm worried for myself.
Thanks for reading.
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