just fed up really

Sooty2

Registered User
Jun 1, 2015
30
im probably becoming a bore with my rants but here goes, got to the MIL today to sort her bins for tomorrow, I do this most sundays and found on the table under a pile of newspapers the most vile note she has written about me and my husband and our daughter, stealing money, the dishwasher, how weve had numerous holidays on her money, (we both work full time two jobs each I might add), how our daughter has had her car, (she has but she gave it to her the year before last quite willingly)and the rest, how I take her shopping and shes paid every time (no she hasn't) and I am so so frustrated, I feel so resentful is it wrong to feel this way?
 

Britvic

Registered User
Jul 11, 2015
6
im probably becoming a bore with my rants but here goes, got to the MIL today to sort her bins for tomorrow, I do this most sundays and found on the table under a pile of newspapers the most vile note she has written about me and my husband and our daughter, stealing money, the dishwasher, how weve had numerous holidays on her money, (we both work full time two jobs each I might add), how our daughter has had her car, (she has but she gave it to her the year before last quite willingly)and the rest, how I take her shopping and shes paid every time (no she hasn't) and I am so so frustrated, I feel so resentful is it wrong to feel this way?
Frustrating for sure , but keep telling yourself that it's the illness talking and responsible for her actions , a damaged brain making her world seem real to her without the ability or insight to see your world and the help you are providing! It takes a tough skin despite this insight not to feel some resentment , just don't let it consume you
 

Witzend

Registered User
Aug 29, 2007
4,291
SW London
I know how terribly upsetting it is, horrible accusations you know the person would never in a million years even have thought, BD. (Becore Dementia). I often think this disease is a lot harder for the family/carers than for the sufferer, not that you'd know it from anything you see from officialdom or the media. These things can really wound you to the heart, and you keep telling yourself 'it's the disease, they can't help it' , but that doesn't stop it hurting. I will never forget my normally very robust and very jolly brother, who did no end of running around after our mother, breaking into those deep, racking sobs over the phone after she had been particularly vile to him. It was just the once, but you don't forget a thing like that.

It's all too easy to say, you have to develop a thick skin, or a non-stick coating and shrug it off. Best thing is probably to come and let off steam on here with a good old rant to others who know exactly what it's like. x
 

Sooty2

Registered User
Jun 1, 2015
30
Frustrating for sure , but keep telling yourself that it's the illness talking and responsible for her actions , a damaged brain making her world seem real to her without the ability or insight to see your world and the help you are providing! It takes a tough skin despite this insight not to feel some resentment , just don't let it consume you
your right but I find it so hard, iv been married to her son for 24 years, shes hated me for 23 of those, until she moved then I became wonderful, till now, shes already disowned his sister and now its us, shell end up very lonely at this rate, im so angry...
 

canary

Registered User
Feb 25, 2014
11,328
South coast
Mum wrote a really nasty letter too. Its somehow worse seeing it written down in black and white isnt it?
I can only say that she has moved on from that period. She is now in a care home and has again become lovely to visit.