It's been about 6 weeks since I posted - that's when mum went into the nursing home - I was so ill and exhausted that it was my health problem that caused her to go into respite care. Anway here I am six weeks later and it has taken that length of time for me to recover my strength. Mum settled exceptionally well at the nursing home and for weeks she thought she was on holiday - she has stopped talking about that now and seems to accept this is where she lives now - although she does occassionally mention that it must be about time to leave but quickly forgets if we change the topic of convesation!! She had a few health issues the first few weeks like a urinary infection and the swollen leg became a big problem - both now resolved. She is also now on anti-depressants and tranquilisers (not allergic to them!) She doesn't always know who I am any longer although occasionally she does which is nice. She still talks away to me in her own language although I don't much know what she is trying to tell me most of the time. Last week she managed to escape - must have left when someone came in - and they saw her from the office window heading down the road - they quickly went to retrieve her!! We have taken six weeks of battling with social services to sort out the payment of the respite followed by the free personal care and nursing allowance (Scotland). I wont bore you all with the details but it has been a marathon - and thanks for the info posted a couple of months ago referring to the article on a local council saying that the person had to wait till there was a budget available before they would be paid the allowance - apparantly they took it to an ombudsman and won and the council had to refund the money. Anyway Social work tried the same thing with us and I immediately could tell them they were giving me an "illegal" statement and not to test me on it or it would be going to the ombudsman!! The respite care finished on Friday and the free personal care and nursing allowance Started the same day - I wouldn't have known to push strongly for this had I not read the link on TP. So many thanks. I am heading back to Hawaii probably end of August or September and am now in the middle of packing my boxes to ship (I have had stuff up my mum's attic for two years and now need to bite the bullet as we need to sell her home!) I feel as if I have my mum back as I can now enjoy the visits and don't have to cope with all the difficult things I had to deal with prior to her being admitted. The fact that she doesn't recognise me much makes it easier for me to return home to Hawaii knowing that she is being taken care of 24/7. Thank you all so much for your support at a time I desperately needed it.