Hello I wrote on here a while ago re: Mum recently diagnosed with depression and AD. Well it has now totally destroyed our family and I don't know what to do?????
She has started the medication but I know she forgets to take it and gets annoyed if I remind her, saying 'Dont you trust me.' Actually she gets annoyed and argumentative frequently now. She has always been a very strong charactered lady but now she gets either really really nasty or very sorry and upset............
Anyway I'm not sure how to explain all this as there is SO much, but here goes
Christmas day was at our house me, my little girl, my sister and her 2 children, and our Mum. Both hubbies working shifts at Heathrow Airport. The day was lovely and Mum was really happy being with her grandchildren, so we decided to do it all again boxing day and low and behold utter disaster..................
My sister (who was feeling unwell) completely lost it with my Mum over something trivial, but they were both screaming and shouting at each other so I took the crying kids into the kitchen with me and called my Hubby at work. My sister said she was leaving and I suggested she went to cool off and get some rest at home and leave her children (who were very upset) with me and her hubby would collect them later as arranged. Well she then started on me and said I could not stop her taking her kids. All I said she was in no fit state to take the kids and then she called the Police. I told her she was being stupid and to go and she said she never wanted to see me, my family or Mum again.
Well shes done exactly that - we've not had any communication since. My little girl who was 4 on New Years Eve, had a birthday party on the Saturday and my Bro-in-Law bought the children over.
Mum has stayed with us from 30th Dec until today and not once has my sister called, not even to wish us a Happy New Year. However despite this Mum has been really happy, the best shes been in a long while, but then today she got really annoyed with me because I spent an hour on the computer (I work from home and haven't done anything all over Christmas etc) and said 'if I cant spend time with her she may as well go home' .......... My hubby and little girl were both with her, so I cannot understand it.
She hates being on her own which is why I had her staying with us, but I cannot spend 24/7 sitting in the same room if you know what I mean. Am I wrong?
Anyway now I've rambled on and said all that, the real problem is this:
My hubby, daughter and I have to move from our property in the next 5 months from Surrey up North where hubby is from, and can get a job and we have talked about taking Mum with us. We initially will rent and see how it goes etc. But everybody says we should seriously consider it..........
I am being torn because I want to go a make a new life for us, but cannot leave my Mum behind. Some suggest as she is getting worse to find a NH for her, but I know she would really deteriorate then, and I would never forgive myself. Even though we havent spoken about it with my sister etc, I know that my sister (if she ever makes up with us) cannot give my Mum the care and support she needs either.
I know you are all dealing with issues & dilemas of your own, but any suggestions or advice would be so greatly appreciated.
Best wishes to all for 2007.
Melanie
She has started the medication but I know she forgets to take it and gets annoyed if I remind her, saying 'Dont you trust me.' Actually she gets annoyed and argumentative frequently now. She has always been a very strong charactered lady but now she gets either really really nasty or very sorry and upset............
Anyway I'm not sure how to explain all this as there is SO much, but here goes
Christmas day was at our house me, my little girl, my sister and her 2 children, and our Mum. Both hubbies working shifts at Heathrow Airport. The day was lovely and Mum was really happy being with her grandchildren, so we decided to do it all again boxing day and low and behold utter disaster..................
My sister (who was feeling unwell) completely lost it with my Mum over something trivial, but they were both screaming and shouting at each other so I took the crying kids into the kitchen with me and called my Hubby at work. My sister said she was leaving and I suggested she went to cool off and get some rest at home and leave her children (who were very upset) with me and her hubby would collect them later as arranged. Well she then started on me and said I could not stop her taking her kids. All I said she was in no fit state to take the kids and then she called the Police. I told her she was being stupid and to go and she said she never wanted to see me, my family or Mum again.
Well shes done exactly that - we've not had any communication since. My little girl who was 4 on New Years Eve, had a birthday party on the Saturday and my Bro-in-Law bought the children over.
Mum has stayed with us from 30th Dec until today and not once has my sister called, not even to wish us a Happy New Year. However despite this Mum has been really happy, the best shes been in a long while, but then today she got really annoyed with me because I spent an hour on the computer (I work from home and haven't done anything all over Christmas etc) and said 'if I cant spend time with her she may as well go home' .......... My hubby and little girl were both with her, so I cannot understand it.
She hates being on her own which is why I had her staying with us, but I cannot spend 24/7 sitting in the same room if you know what I mean. Am I wrong?
Anyway now I've rambled on and said all that, the real problem is this:
My hubby, daughter and I have to move from our property in the next 5 months from Surrey up North where hubby is from, and can get a job and we have talked about taking Mum with us. We initially will rent and see how it goes etc. But everybody says we should seriously consider it..........
I am being torn because I want to go a make a new life for us, but cannot leave my Mum behind. Some suggest as she is getting worse to find a NH for her, but I know she would really deteriorate then, and I would never forgive myself. Even though we havent spoken about it with my sister etc, I know that my sister (if she ever makes up with us) cannot give my Mum the care and support she needs either.
I know you are all dealing with issues & dilemas of your own, but any suggestions or advice would be so greatly appreciated.
Best wishes to all for 2007.
Melanie