Just diagnosed


Registered User
May 16, 2006
I found out today that my Grandma (my Mum's side) has Alzheimer's:mad: , we (family) had been suspecting that she might have this for a few months now, but were all hoping that she didn't have it. She started seeing losing her memory and sight after her stroke 10 years ago, but recently shes start seeing things which aren't there and a few weeks ago when my Dad walked into my Grandma & Grandad's house she didn't reconise him.


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Fiona,
Sorry about Grandma, it is so painful when you actually hear the diagnosis, and I think your imagination can go into overdrive. The thing is now you have a diagnosis there may be medication to slow down the progress, also, you know what you are dealing with.
Take care. Best wishes,


Registered User
Feb 17, 2006
Lancs, England
re.just diagnosed

Dear Fiona,
Glad you found the site so quickly as I didn't know about it for 4 yrs. I think you will find a lot of inspiration as well as humour and will realize it isn't all doom and gloom. I recently bought some lightweight Melamine tea plates with a cafe symbols pattern but now I find my husband tries to pick the pattern off or wipes at it with his bread. If you can find something to joke about with your Grandma I think you will all find it easier. Good Luck in the future and keep mailing


Registered User
May 1, 2006
Hi Fiona,

Just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear about your grandmother. The hard times are yet to come, but the support and friends you'll meet here will help a lot.

And mocha is right, it's not all doom and gloom. I'm in the same situation as you- it's my grandmother who has it rather than a parent. It's often, I think, harder for the children and the spouse rather than the next generation - but then, I don't know how close you are to your grandmother.

What I do know is how much your parents will need your support with this. I've seen the stress and the strain that dealing with my grandmother's AD has put on my mother and auntie. It hurts, but they'll need you to help them get through this. It's a very difficult period, but the best thing to do is keep your chin up.

Smile. It's the best remedy for this situation, and it'll help reassure your family too.


Registered User
Jan 4, 2006
Hiya Scott,
You are so right about your parents needing your support. I don't expect my sons to visit their nanna everytime I go, but I do ask them occasionally to come along, and they are always there for special days. They always ask how nanna is though; they'll put an arm round my shoulder or give me a hug if they know I'm down; they'll make a cup of tea, or find a bar of chocolate. They do not need to 'do' a lot, just knowing that they care for how I feel, and that they still love their nanna, despite her illness - and they don't remember her being a "normal" nanna- is enough. Thank you Scott, your post has made me realise that I do not tell them how much I appreciate the support that they give.
Best wishes, Amy

cathy baldwin

Registered User
Jan 21, 2008
Central Office
Hi Fiona,

I am so sorry to hear about your Grandma's diagnosis, but glad that you can find support and information on this site. I just wanted to offer some thoughts for you to consider.

It is easy for us to assume that someone is hallucinating when they say they see things that don't appear to be there, please remember that people with dementia often 'see' the world around them in a different context to how we do, one of the first skills that is lost is the ability to use logic and reason to make sense of what we see. It may be that what your Grandma is seeing makes perfect sense to her, this is more often an issue of visual perception rather than something simply not being there, if this happens again, ask her to tell you more about what she is seeing and try to look at it through her eyes and reality not yours. Look for shadows or patterns that could be percieved as something else?

Difficulties in recognising family members can also be quite common, this may be due to your Grandma's short term (recent) memory failing so that her strongest memories of your Dad are of a much younger man, hence she may not recognise his face today.

I understand that this can be painful for families to deal with day to day, and hope that you will be able to focus on the good days more than the bad.

best wishes

Debbie Davis

Registered User
Apr 8, 2008
Braintree Essex
Hi Fiona

So sorry to hear your news, I have been a dementia support worker for 6 months and all I can say is that I have been so blessed to have met some amazing people. It's not all doom and gloom there is help out there for your special person. My father in law has last month been diagnosed with altzhiemers the whole of my family is in turmoil as we come to terms with it, but all I can say is we all must live tomorrows dreams today God bless. Debbie

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