Thank you all
Thanks to everyone that has posted to my thread.
I have found all your insights and experiences really helpful if not interesting. Being new, I thought it would be best to tread a little carefully with my threads, but in some way you have all hit the nail on the head... as she is definitely suffering some form of abandonement, attention seeking, displacement disorder.
First and foremost there is a huge element of attention seeking.. For example:- My patient's tantrums and hysterics always occur at +/- the same time of day (usually when I have gone out or am busy somewhere in the house and she has the feeling that she is being avoided. Her first reaction would be to say and I quote "something's hit me, I feel so funny" followed by "feel my head, feel my head, I think I need a Doctor, get me the Doctor, I want the Doctor" These verbalisations are generally made via the telephone to her (non dementia) twin sister, the housekeeper that I would have left at home with her or to the Doctors surgery or Pharmacy.
I would then receive endless frantic calls on my mobile from all of the above and would end up dropping everything to rush back to the house. Generally within minutes of my return...ten minutes or less, she has suitably calmed down and innocently acts as though nothing has happened. I do understand that she can't help it, but on the other hand, I do beleive that there is a definite degree of knowing exactly what she's doing! (ie-being a spoilt brat) After all, it works every time!!
Then there are my private moments... A friend may call me on my personal line which is situated in my bedroom. (next door to her's) I may receive a call on my mobile and I'd chat while in the garden or in the kitchen etc. Perhaps a neighbor would drop by for a coffee and the offer of a much needed chat or lighthearted moment. No Matter what the situation, if my patient feels that I am receiving too much attention instead of the attention being aimed at her, then she will do the whole "I'm so sick, feel my head, I need the Doctor" routine all over again.
Its mentally and emotionally draining....
During a discussion with her psychiatrist the other day, we came to an interesting conclusion... That generally a hot head would indicate a fever, a fever would require a Doctor and that a Doctor would first administer the " oh dear! poor you, where does it hurt" syndrome closely followed by some form of medication and a goodbye that generally included " call me if there's no improvement"
So yes!! feigning illness ie (hot head) brings immediate attention seeking results along with all the extra sympathy that she so craves.
The psychiatrist has since advised me to ignore as much of it as possible to try and wean her out of the habit as well as to take the telephone away from her when I go out. When I am in the house he wants me to simply remind her that she is not sick and that there's no need to be frightened or anxious as I'm just watering the garden or cooking the dinner and that although I'm not in the same room, I can hear her and I'm close by.
The psychiatrist also thinks that she has developed a morbid attachment to me and is indeed using these ploy's to punish me or get back at me for leaving her and attempting to lead some form of life of my own. We also think that there is an immense element of jealousy attached to her behavior as I am 47 not 88, therefore I am still young and able to lead a normal life which she realizes she can no longer do.
Thanks again all
Ditto