I'm trying to decide if it was more good or more bad. I've never been to Paris, so really wanted to see it for myself before I am too old, not just on tv or in a film. Booked a very short, organised coach trip for me and husband, diagnosed with Alzheimers 4 or so years' ago.
It was pretty exhausting, an endless stream of where are we, why are we, what is this place etc at roughly two minute intervals for 2 1/2 days. Plus he's become nervous of steps, walking, strange places, loud noises - and oh, so slow. Being patient is so wearing. Especially when he has not been your favourite person for a great many years, but now you know you are responsible - the carer - you are stuck with it, too late to make a run for it. You didn't escape when you could.
I'm glad I've seen Paris, well a little of it anyway. But mostly he was too hot, too cold, had a tummy ache, was tired, why are we here anyway, when are we going home?
What do you do? I can't leave him alone for more than an hour or so. He is not bad enough for respite care and anyway, the once a week crossroads chap who does something with him for two or three hours makes him so angry that I worry about it for a day or so before he comes, again is it worth it for the anger it causes?
We are back. He's forgotten where he's been. We are now back on the endless what are we doing tomorrow when are we going to the cinema / theatre / put your own word in the space constant refrain. We go to the cinema most weeks, we do something every few days because I don't know how not to feel guilty if we don't.
So do i keep on trying to do what I had planned to do in my retirement which coincided with his diagnosis, which is to see some places we never managed to get to because he wouldn't go, or do I just give up? Is it worth the effort?
Hard to decide. But what is the point of life otherwise, if you never do anything you actually want to do? Hmm ...
I'm going to bed.
I'm exhausted.
It was pretty exhausting, an endless stream of where are we, why are we, what is this place etc at roughly two minute intervals for 2 1/2 days. Plus he's become nervous of steps, walking, strange places, loud noises - and oh, so slow. Being patient is so wearing. Especially when he has not been your favourite person for a great many years, but now you know you are responsible - the carer - you are stuck with it, too late to make a run for it. You didn't escape when you could.
I'm glad I've seen Paris, well a little of it anyway. But mostly he was too hot, too cold, had a tummy ache, was tired, why are we here anyway, when are we going home?
What do you do? I can't leave him alone for more than an hour or so. He is not bad enough for respite care and anyway, the once a week crossroads chap who does something with him for two or three hours makes him so angry that I worry about it for a day or so before he comes, again is it worth it for the anger it causes?
We are back. He's forgotten where he's been. We are now back on the endless what are we doing tomorrow when are we going to the cinema / theatre / put your own word in the space constant refrain. We go to the cinema most weeks, we do something every few days because I don't know how not to feel guilty if we don't.
So do i keep on trying to do what I had planned to do in my retirement which coincided with his diagnosis, which is to see some places we never managed to get to because he wouldn't go, or do I just give up? Is it worth the effort?
Hard to decide. But what is the point of life otherwise, if you never do anything you actually want to do? Hmm ...
I'm going to bed.
I'm exhausted.