1. Q&A: Looking after yourself as a carer - Friday 25 January, 3-4pm

    As a carer for a person living with dementia, the needs of that person will often come before your own, and this can mean that you don't always look after yourself.

    However, it's important for both you and the person you care for. But how do you do that properly?

    Our next expert Q&A will be on looking after yourself as a carer. It will be hosted by Angelo from our Knowledge Services team, who focuses on wellbeing. He'll be answering your questions on Friday 25 January between 3-4pm.

    You can either post questions >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll answer as many as we can on the day.

Just an introduction

Discussion in 'Welcome and how to use Talking Point' started by ex-rambler, Nov 8, 2018.

  1. ex-rambler

    ex-rambler New member

    Nov 8, 2018
    4
    Hello. I have joined this forum as I am a carer for my dad, who has finally been diagnosed with Vascular Dementia and Alzheimers. This is not news to either myself or my mum who jointly care for dad. We all live in the same house and I am the only child, now retired. Dad would not admit to having a problem with his memory or anything else and refused to go to his doctor. It was only when earlier this year he had a bad chest and I called a doctor in who confirmed dad had a chest infection but was more concerned about dads vagueness. Mum and I expressed our suspicions and the doctor did some basic tests and promised to take things forward. Dad then went through all the usual appointments (very reluctantly) and even when a brain scan confirmed dementia he refused to believe Consultant or other medical professionals. He still thinks everyone is wrong. Mum and I know differently. Mum is very unwell herself and is in constant pain with arthritis and is very frail. Neither of them can go very far unless I drive them. I have the user name "ex-rambler" as that is what I used to do in my spare time but I have a progressive muscle wasting condition myself so can no longer ramble.
    There have been lots of problems with dad and mum and I have been reading all the literature and trying to make the best decisions for all of us. It's not easy, especially as mum is a very private person and refuses to accept any outside help, for herself or dad. When the doctor asked what had been set up to support us she said nothing needed as they both had me to look after them. This forum looks as if it could help me to keep sane. Thanks for reading.
     
  2. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,055
    Male
    Bristol
    Welcome to TP, ex-rambler. I'm sorry your dad's condition brings you here, and have to say denial is not uncommon with Dementia. It's a pity your mum refuses help, and sadly Social Services don't get involved with out consent. There is nothing to stop you asking for a carers assessment to see if there is anything they can offer you, with your own health problems. I love a good ramble round the Mendips given half a chance, and can't imagine how hard it is when you can't get out any longer.
    This is a great place to find support and you have already found the literature, but https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/get-support/your-support-services will help you find local support groups should you want or need them.
     
  3. Kevinl

    Kevinl Registered User

    Aug 24, 2013
    4,606
    Salford
    Welcome to go ex-rambled
    I'm an ex rambled too, penning way 3 times, it's duke North to South to make just few.
    Denial is very common and refusing help is too, there's not a lot you can do about either, love just becomes a coping and waiting game until something happens and changes are forced on you.
    K
     

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