Just an idea

[ishard]

I dont know how much meals on wheels are for people but I do know that sometimes they arent nice so what I do is I have arranged for our local good grub pub to plate a meal everyday and its delivered by a taxi to Mum.
Mum can heat it up in the micro but cant cook for herelf.

There is a very good selection of meals that cost 3.99 ie steak jacket spud salad and peas, piri piri chicken and rice and chickenalads,lemon and pepper fish with chips and salad etc.
The taxi costs 1.50 as I have arrange cheaper weekly rates.

Mum enjoys the food and I know she will eat it as she has picked it and its not served in a plastic tray as meals on wheels are.

I only do this if Im away and cant cook for her myself and together Mum and I choose the meals weekly making sure that there is a good balance of things that she eats.

Because Mum has a sweet tooth but cannot have anything too high in fat I get individual ice cream cones or fruity yogurts as her puddings which she can help herself to.

I hope what I do helps others think outside the box

 

[AJay]

Blimey, I wish I'd thought of this when I was having the battle to get Dad to eat, he'd have loved this idea, pub grub without having to go to the pub!

AJay xxx

 

[lesmisralbles]

Ishard,
Excellent idea.
Good thinking, and good luck.
Barb

 

[connie]

Thank you for sharing Ishard, what a good idea.

I hope what I do helps others think outside the box

That's the thing isn't it, seeing the wider picture. Of course this will not work for everyone, but 'food for thought'.

Have not had this problem myself, but know a couple of people this might just work for.

 

[ChrisH]

Hi Ishard
Great idea. I've heard of something like this down my way, only in this case it was a local cafe that produced the food. The problem for me would be that the 'cafes' where mum lives are a bit posh and she probably wouldn't be able to afford the food. The nearest pub is reputed to be none too good in the food department, which is a pity. She is rather partial to M & S ready meals though. The problem is that it seems to be only the chicken one that can be frozen. Anything left in the fridge tends to get forgotten about. Mind you, the freezer is a bit of a danger zone too - she's turned it off twice!! If only she'd eat something other than plain old meat and veg she'd have a bigger selection to choose from. Pasta and curry simply wouldn't do - too foreign and too hot for her tastes!! I've never been able to convince her to try them. It was years before she'd even put garlic in anything.
Here's my own idea for trying to deal with the heating issue. Mum likes to 'boost' the heating when she gets up in the morning and seems to turn the thermostat up to 25. She insists she turns it down after half hour or so (of course she doesn't)and I also can't seem to get the wretched gizzmo to work so the hot water is only on twice a day (she doesn't need it all day as she's given up with the bath and won't stand in it to have a shower). So heating can be on high for long periods and the heating and hot water are on 24/7 too. Next time I go to see her I'm thinking of Tippexing over the numbers and turning 20 into 25 and then adding 'MAX' a little way past it so she thinks it will blow up or something if she goes beyond that point. Her last bill was £250 so I need to do something and it's going to be some time before I can get hubby up there to sort it out properly. Any other suggestions greatly welcomed.
Nite all.
Chris

 

[ishard]

MY daughter lives in Devon (Westward Ho!) and we visit often so I understand about the food, however, everywhere there is a Premier Inn there is a pub next door that does good food.

I wonder if your mum is cold when she gets up?
NHS guidelines say that heating should be set for 21 anyway to prevent hypothermia in people over 75.
So perhaps set the timer for 1 hour before she gets up.

If Mum does this as a habit then you need to move the control box out of her reach or hidden away because whatever you do with marking it wont work. An electrician doesnt cost as much as you think and you may even now a friend who could do this?

As for the hot water simply turn down the thermostat on the water tank, if she has one?

Hope ths helps.

 

[alfjess]

Hi ChrisH

Would something like a socket guard work? They can be bought on the internet

I taped Mum and Dad's thermostat with greenhouse tape, they could still see it and thought they were operating it.

But, maybe my parent's were further advanced in dementia, than your Mum

Best of luck
Alfjess

 

[ChrisH]

Hi Ishard and alfjess
Thanks for the suggestions. I've tried setting the heating/water controls to come on twice a day before but she obviously fiddles with them as next time I go they're back to on constantly. Sometimes when she remembers to turn the thermostat down at night I think she turns it right down below 10 so she obviously does feel cold then. She always gets up in the middle of the night to go to the loo - at least when I've been up there - and I suspect that she may alter the thermostat then. The problem is she's 200 miles away and I've only been able to get up there about every 6 weeks as I have a business to run and a family of my own to care for. I'm heavily dependent on the neighbours and feel really guilty about that, but there's nothing I can do about it.
My husband can do electrics so he could sort it out. The problem is getting him up there at the same time as me. I don't think he would feel comfortable going on his own, and her place isn't suitable for all 4 of us to stay at now the boys have grown. Besides that, it's difficult to sort out a time when they would all be available (part-time job, football etc etc). When they were little we all used to sleep in the same room with them on mattresses on the floor. Now they're too big for that and in any case tend to argue when in the same room so it wouldn't make for a very pleasant situation and mum has enough problems without 2 screaming teenagers to cope with as well.
I'll have to ask around when I'm up there next as I'm sure there must be someone on the site who could help with the electrics or at least point me in the direction of someone who wouldn't rip her off. Have I mentioned she lives in a mobile home? (if I have, sorry - I'm sure my hubby would say I was getting as bad as mum - not a helpful remark as I'm sure a lot of us worry about that!)
Chris

 

[Sandy]

I'll have to ask around when I'm up there next as I'm sure there must be someone on the site who could help with the electrics or at least point me in the direction of someone who wouldn't rip her off.

You might try contacting the local branch of Age Concern. They sometimes keep lists of suitable tradespeople.

Take care,

Sandy

 

[ChrisH]

Thanks Sandy. I'll contact them if her friends can't suggest anyone. I'm really lucky they all look out for each other on the site. Of course mum sometimes suggests they are all 'talking about me' and gets a bit annoyed. I only hope she doesn't drive them all away. One of her main friend's wife had AD and died a couple of years ago. I feel so sorry for him as mum is very reliant on him and he really doesn't need to be reminded constantly of what he went through with his wife. I've a feeling her other main friend isn't going to cope if (sorry, WHEN) mum gets worse. Last time I was there she mentioned she had a friend who'd had a stroke and was now in a nh and she couldn't bring herself to go and visit her!!! I have a feeling she knows very little about AD. (I think a few leaflets are in order!) Actually mum didn't want her to know about it so we've told her (and the others) that her memory problems were caused by the stroke she seems to have had at some point - which is true as that's the Vasc.D bit, but she's also got AD.

Ishard - Just re-read your earlier post and noticed Westward Ho mentioned which is fairly near me, although we are further down the coast near Bude. I work in Torrington which is nearer WH - still haven't been there though!

Chris