1. Our next Q&A session is on the topic of Christmas and dementia.This time we want our Q&A to involve our resident experts, you! Share tips and advice on navigating Christmas here in this thread.

    Pop by and post your questions or if you prefer you can email your question to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.
  1. Lonestray

    Lonestray Registered User

    Aug 3, 2006
    It's with a heavy heart that I tell you Jean, my wife of 52 years passed away at 05.15Hrs on the 12 th.
    I'm comforted by the fact that I defied all the rules and refused to let her die in a NH some five years ago, when she was in the end stage. Over the past four years, eight months and 11 plus days, I've been privileged to care for alone, not allowing anyone to touch her but me. During this time she has spoken but two words and been incapable of any movement, rigidity had set in. It has also been my good fortune to be of the same generation and at 76, being in better than an average fitness level, it allowed me to do the caring as well as all the daily tasks around the home.
    I've had so many questions from Nurses and Doctors as to how I managed to keep Jean alive so long and in good health. It's a sad fact that so many of the medical profession addmitted they knew little of Alzheimer's. At least they were interested to learn. Even the Doctor who four and a half years ago advised me not to sit holding Jean's hand overnight, as she would pass away when I went to the toilet, or made a drink, paid a visit. In his words I'd performed an incredible astonishing act of love by bringing her back to health.
    Strange as it may seem to some, by entering Jean's world I'd got to understand so very much and was rewarded in a way words can't express. I can say, we were both at peace in that world.
    After 12 years of AD, the early years were painful when she kept wanting and trying to go home. Now I understand that longing, she's now reached home and the bosum of her departed family also our fifteen year old daughter.
    She lit up my life with love, where there'd only been the darkness of a loveless life. She's been my inspiration, with her work done it was time to go. God love her and thank you for sending her to me.
    To all you carers out there I pray you receive the strength to carry on and may your God go with you. Padraig
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    Dear Padraig.

    Please accept my deepest sympathy and sincere condolences on the death of your wife Jean.

    I hope it will be of some comfort for you to know she is at peace, and you did absolutely everything possible to keep her comfortable during her final years.

    With love xx
  3. blue sea

    blue sea Registered User

    Aug 24, 2005
    So very, very sorry, Padraig, that you have lost Jean from this life. You kept her with you far longer than any 'experts' could have predicted and that will always be your gift of love to her. May peace be with you now she is in her final rest.
    Blue sea
  4. Skye

    Skye Registered User

    Aug 29, 2006
    SW Scotland
    Dear Padraig, so very sorry to read that your beloved wife Jean has passed over. I know from your posts how very much she meant to you, and you have devoted your life to keeping her comfortable, secure and cherished.

    Jean is at peace now, her suffering is over. There will be a huge gap in your life now, and I hope you will continue to be a part of our family, if that is what you want.

    May God bless Jean, you and your family.

  5. zonkjonk

    zonkjonk Registered User

    Dear Padraig
    I am so sorry to read of Jeans death.
    Your love for Jean shone through in all your posts.
    you did the absolute best you could for so many years.
    You were lucky(wrong word) to have each other through the hard times.
    One blessing, Jean will now be re-united with Karen.

    I hope the following days/months will not be too trying on you
    Take care of yourself,
    Kind regards,
  6. Tina

    Tina Registered User

    May 19, 2006
    Dear Padraig,

    it is with a heavy heart that I read your post and the news of Jean's passing. I have followed your incredible story in the many posts you have so kindly shared with us on TP.

    Anything I could say would sound trite, but I am very very sorry to hear Jean is no longer with you and I know there will be a huge gap in your life.

    I hope you can find a little comfort in knowing you accomplished a sheer gargantuan task and defied all the odds for such a long time. Jean will always be with you, in your heart and in your memories.

    With love and condolences to you and yours,
  7. christine_batch

    christine_batch Registered User

    Jul 31, 2007
    Dear Padraig,
    I am so sorry to know that Jean has passed away. What you did for her was our of love and devotion and that can be the most powerful medicine.
    My prayers and condolence are with you at this time.
    Take care of yourself. God Bless. Christine
  8. TinaT

    TinaT Registered User

    Sep 27, 2006
    Dear Padraig, I am so very sorry to read of your loss. You are a strong and focussed person who has fought and won an incredible battle for several years. I know that you have the comfort of having taken care of your wife in the most wonderful way. xxTinaT
  9. Brucie

    Brucie Registered User

    Jan 31, 2004
    near London
    Hi Padraig
    your story of yourself and Jean has been an inspiration for many people.

    Condolences on your great loss.

    Take care of yourself.
  10. Linda Mc

    Linda Mc Registered User

    Jul 3, 2005
    Nr Mold
    Dear Padraig

    So sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved wife. Take comfort in knowing no one could have done more for Jean than you.

    Love Linda x
  11. Canadian Joanne

    Canadian Joanne Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 8, 2005
    Toronto, Canada
    Dear Padraig,
    I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Your devotion to Jean and your determination and drive to care for her your way is a beacon of hope to us all.
  12. nickyd

    nickyd Registered User

    Oct 20, 2007
    Dear Padraig,
    So sorry to hear about the loss of your Beloved Wife. You remind me of my Dad with your love, devotion and determination for your Wife.
    With Deepest Sympathy, Nicky xxx
  13. dmc

    dmc Registered User

    Mar 13, 2006
    dear padraig

    im so sorry on the passing of your dear wife

    i have been full of admiration for you over the last year i have been on tp.

    may you find the strength to see you through this very sad time

    my thoughts and prayers are with you

    donna x
  14. McK

    McK Registered User

    Sep 13, 2005
    Pgh. Pa. USA
    Dear Padraig,

    My deepest sympathy to you and the rest of your family on the death of your "Soul Mate", Jean. You have inspired us by your endless love and devotion to Jean that only true love and sacrifice can endure. God Bless - McK
  15. Tender Face

    Tender Face Account Closed

    Mar 14, 2006
    NW England
    I think Padraig, you and Jean had already found the end of the rainbow in your journey together which others of us can only dream of achieving ..... may you always continue to bask in the pots of gold you found in each other,

    With all my love and admiration as always, Karen, x
  16. Norman

    Norman Registered User

    Oct 9, 2003
    Birmingham Hades
    I completed the journey a short time before you. when my precious Peg decided enough was enough and left this earth.
    I can imagine what you are feeling at this time and I feel for you.
    No words can help,look after yourself
  17. Libby

    Libby Registered User

    May 20, 2006
    North East

    So very sorry to hear of Jean's passing. Your love for Jean has always shone through

  18. jenniferpa

    jenniferpa Volunteer Moderator

    Jun 27, 2006
    My deepest sympathy on your loss.
  19. Grommit

    Grommit Registered User

    Apr 26, 2006
    What can I say Padraig that has not already been said.

    The end of Jean's journey has come, you did more than your best to help, comfort and share with her the difficulties she was going through.

    I sincerely hope that you are granted the strength and fortitude to bear what has to be bourne and that the memories of the life you spent together will carry you along.

    I offer my sympathies to you with respect and understanding.
  20. Cate

    Cate Registered User

    Jul 2, 2006
    Newport, Gwent
    Dear Padraig

    I am so very sorry to see the news that your lovely girl has gone from this world in peace to the next.

    You have been an inspiration to us all in your tender loving care of such a lovely lady.

    You and Jean are in my prayers.

    With love and respect

    Cate xxxxx

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