Johnis in respite again having only come home from his last stint in respite 6 weeks earlier. I just feel I can't carry on. I reached this point 6 months ago, but steeled myself and. Brought him home again.z this time I don't feel up to bringing him home. I have health problems myself which affect my stamina , and the constant stress and lack of slEep have just about done me in.
I've already been told he now needs 24 hour care, which I obviously can't do alone. He doesn't sleep and stubbornly refuses to get undressed, washed, change clothes, socks, shoes (he sleeps in them).
Although he loves being with other people He is so abusive to me, my family get really distressed. His PSN(?) explained it was probably due to his long term memories connected with me, as oppose d to his short term memories in respite care, where he is charming, entertaining and pleasant to the other residents! When I told his psychiatrist I was at the end of my tether, she suggested permanent care home.
I am now afraid of him at night when I'm alone with him. Because he doesn't sleep he staggers around manically packing clothes in bags or ironing them over & over again. The dangers of him a falling or burning himself frighten me. Also if I try to get him to stop he gets very aggressive and forceful.
The difficulty now is I still can't sleep even though he'd is in respite, because I feel such a heel! and the decision to make his stay permanent is torturing me even though I no longer feel able to bring him home. That plus the grief at losing him is just overwhelming me. The cruelty of this disease is fathomless.
Any helpful comments or advice would be welcome.
Jackie
I've already been told he now needs 24 hour care, which I obviously can't do alone. He doesn't sleep and stubbornly refuses to get undressed, washed, change clothes, socks, shoes (he sleeps in them).
Although he loves being with other people He is so abusive to me, my family get really distressed. His PSN(?) explained it was probably due to his long term memories connected with me, as oppose d to his short term memories in respite care, where he is charming, entertaining and pleasant to the other residents! When I told his psychiatrist I was at the end of my tether, she suggested permanent care home.
I am now afraid of him at night when I'm alone with him. Because he doesn't sleep he staggers around manically packing clothes in bags or ironing them over & over again. The dangers of him a falling or burning himself frighten me. Also if I try to get him to stop he gets very aggressive and forceful.
The difficulty now is I still can't sleep even though he'd is in respite, because I feel such a heel! and the decision to make his stay permanent is torturing me even though I no longer feel able to bring him home. That plus the grief at losing him is just overwhelming me. The cruelty of this disease is fathomless.
Any helpful comments or advice would be welcome.
Jackie