Struggling with numbing the pain
Thank you for your kind posts. In my post I was struggling with picking up a drink. I know now, it's not the answer yet it still calls to me.
I have struggled with alcohol addiction most of adult life and have managed to stay mostly sober since diagnosed with acute pancreatitis.
In the moment I posted, then tried to delete I was seriously thinking of John Barleycorn aka a large bottle of whiskey.
Through these forums and the support of others I didn't drown in a bottle.
This is my burden, and have not seen much on medicating through grief on here (still reading)...
If I may impart any words of wisdom for those who turn to a bottle or any other self medication... Don't do it. I may not have stopped.
What kind of effect would my death be on my other loved ones who are suffering too... To die as well?
I thank God for the support I got to stop before it was too late. Drinking or drugging will not spare you from Grief, guilt, depression and the other feelings we all are suffering from.