1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. GuiltandSadness

    GuiltandSadness Registered User

    Nov 29, 2015
    14
    #1 GuiltandSadness, Nov 30, 2015
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2015
    Chose not to post

    :(
     
  2. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    Please do post if you can. It`s not only guilt and sadness it`s grief and many of us know how you feel.
     
  3. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    Please let us help if we can xxx
     
  4. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    I hope you are ok John xx


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  5. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,594
    Female
    Dundee
    Please keep posting. x


    Sent from my iPhone using Talking Point
     
  6. GuiltandSadness

    GuiltandSadness Registered User

    Nov 29, 2015
    14
    Struggling with numbing the pain

    Thank you for your kind posts. In my post I was struggling with picking up a drink. I know now, it's not the answer yet it still calls to me.

    I have struggled with alcohol addiction most of adult life and have managed to stay mostly sober since diagnosed with acute pancreatitis.

    In the moment I posted, then tried to delete I was seriously thinking of John Barleycorn aka a large bottle of whiskey.

    Through these forums and the support of others I didn't drown in a bottle.

    This is my burden, and have not seen much on medicating through grief on here (still reading)...

    If I may impart any words of wisdom for those who turn to a bottle or any other self medication... Don't do it. I may not have stopped.

    What kind of effect would my death be on my other loved ones who are suffering too... To die as well?

    I thank God for the support I got to stop before it was too late. Drinking or drugging will not spare you from Grief, guilt, depression and the other feelings we all are suffering from.
     
  7. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    I`m so glad you posted.
     
  8. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    Hello John I'm pleased you came back and posted and hope you get some sleep now x


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  9. Scarlett123

    Scarlett123 Registered User

    Apr 30, 2013
    3,802
    Essex
    We all understand xxxx
     
  10. GuiltandSadness

    GuiltandSadness Registered User

    Nov 29, 2015
    14
    Trying to move on

    I went back to work today. Had to move on.

    I learned my boss's mom is in the late stages of Alzheimer's , eavesdropping. :/

    I didn't have the heart, yet, that it's not the sundowners or aggression or forgetting her husband that ends it.

    She is 3 years in the process.

    My dear one died 8 yrs in. Strokes, Multiple UTIs. Body shut down.

    How do you express the possible roller coaster... That dementia/ alheimerzer's is not the cause of death? Should I commiserate? Share? She is in good health. I hate to see someone else on the coaster. Advice please. Xo
     
  11. Grannie G

    Grannie G Volunteer Moderator

    Apr 3, 2006
    69,584
    Kent
    No, please don`t tell anyone what`s to come. It might not mirror your experience. Everyone is different.
    It`s difficult enough to live from day to day without trying to predict the future.
     
  12. Cat27

    Cat27 Volunteer Moderator

    Feb 27, 2015
    10,215
    Merseyside
    I'd keep quiet but be supportive.
     
  13. Dazmum

    Dazmum Registered User

    I agree.

    So glad you posted, I was thinking of you xxx keep posting, we're always here.
     
  14. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,534
    North East England
    Your thread has brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad you didn't pick up that bottle, well done to you. That takes strength.

    I agree with the others not to give too many details away about your own experiences with dementia, as it can be frightening to hear. There's nothing to stop you being supportive though, if you feel that that's something you'd like to do. You don't have to go into detail. Your understanding will help.

    Best wishes x
     
  15. GuiltandSadness

    GuiltandSadness Registered User

    Nov 29, 2015
    14
    #15 GuiltandSadness, Dec 2, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2015
    Thanks
     
  16. GuiltandSadness

    GuiltandSadness Registered User

    Nov 29, 2015
    14
  17. GuiltandSadness

    GuiltandSadness Registered User

    Nov 29, 2015
    14
    At first I forgot my inquiry regarding my boss and reacted in kind. Revised my response.

    My mind is so wasted from lack of sleep and proper diet I misinterpreted the advice, thought it was in regards to my sharing and felt ostracized. Then I read it again, it was not about me- but my bosses mom.

    I feel confused now. I dream, when I sleep, that I am next to go out this way. I double check everything (did I flush the toilet?) I have always been a bit OCD but I now fear reality is not something I can trust.

    Any one feel like this?

    PS: agree on sparing my boss the worst case scenario
     
  18. CollegeGirl

    CollegeGirl Registered User

    Jan 19, 2011
    9,534
    North East England
    Oh no, I'm so sorry! Was it my post that you misunderstood? I've read it again and I could have made it clearer - please accept my apologies.

    I do hope you manage to get some sleep tonight. None of us function well when we are not sleeping properly. Could your GP give you something to help?

    Thinking of you x
     
  19. jeany123

    jeany123 Registered User

    Mar 24, 2012
    19,049
    Durham
    Good morning John, I hope you slept well X


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     

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