I am new to this forum, and there are so many things that I need help with, but I will start with the most immediate problem. A little explanation first.
My Mum is 92, has heart problems and arthritis, making it difficult for her to walk. She lives on her own about an hour's journey from our home. She was widowed over 40 years ago and my only brother walked away and has had no contact with either of us for around 20 years. My husband and I visit her every week, occasionally more.
Mum was diagnosed with multi-infarct dementia almost 2 years ago, but, looking back, I think she must have had it for far longer. She will not accept the diagnosis, and most people who meet her probably have no idea that there is anything wrong. She impresses everyone with her independence and other people seem to think she is a really sweet old lady. But, over the years, Mum has become increasingly hostile towards me (starting way back before I even dreamt she might have dementia) and now this has extended to my family - husband, son and daughter-in-law. She will go weeks without answering the phone to me - I try phoning every day and just leave a short message when she doesn't answer - and then she will phone out of the blue and announce to whichever of my husband or I answers the phone that she never wants to see or speak to us or our family ever again, says we know why and puts the phone down on us. She did it again last Thursday. We went to visit her as usual today and found that she had the chain on the door (I have a key). After some time, she did come and let us in, but declared that she wanted nothing to do with us. I tried saying that I could see she was angry with me and that I was really sorry if I had done something to upset her, but she simply sneered at me and said that I must be going round the bend if I didn't know what I had done. This has happened so often now and I really don't know how to cope. I feel like walking away, but I know that she only has me. She seems like a real Jekyll and Hyde character. So very different with me to what she is like with others. I know I'm not meant to take it personally, but it is so hard.
My Mum is 92, has heart problems and arthritis, making it difficult for her to walk. She lives on her own about an hour's journey from our home. She was widowed over 40 years ago and my only brother walked away and has had no contact with either of us for around 20 years. My husband and I visit her every week, occasionally more.
Mum was diagnosed with multi-infarct dementia almost 2 years ago, but, looking back, I think she must have had it for far longer. She will not accept the diagnosis, and most people who meet her probably have no idea that there is anything wrong. She impresses everyone with her independence and other people seem to think she is a really sweet old lady. But, over the years, Mum has become increasingly hostile towards me (starting way back before I even dreamt she might have dementia) and now this has extended to my family - husband, son and daughter-in-law. She will go weeks without answering the phone to me - I try phoning every day and just leave a short message when she doesn't answer - and then she will phone out of the blue and announce to whichever of my husband or I answers the phone that she never wants to see or speak to us or our family ever again, says we know why and puts the phone down on us. She did it again last Thursday. We went to visit her as usual today and found that she had the chain on the door (I have a key). After some time, she did come and let us in, but declared that she wanted nothing to do with us. I tried saying that I could see she was angry with me and that I was really sorry if I had done something to upset her, but she simply sneered at me and said that I must be going round the bend if I didn't know what I had done. This has happened so often now and I really don't know how to cope. I feel like walking away, but I know that she only has me. She seems like a real Jekyll and Hyde character. So very different with me to what she is like with others. I know I'm not meant to take it personally, but it is so hard.