1. Expert Q&A: Benefits - Weds 23 October, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of benefits. It will be hosted by Lauren from our Knowledge Services team. She'll be answering your questions on Wednesday 23 October between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

  1. DustyAlfie246

    DustyAlfie246 Registered User

    Jan 6, 2016
    12
    Female
    Hampshire
    Hi my husband has just been diagnosed with vascular dementia and I have been given this forum to talk to others and share and get some comfort from it. I would love to talk to others in my position.
     
  2. jaymor

    jaymor Volunteer Moderator

    Jul 14, 2006
    12,490
    Female
    England
    Hello and welcome to Talking Point. It is sad that you have had to seek out the forum but there is no better place to be for help, support and comfort from the members who know how you feel, understand your worries and concerns and are ready and willing to help.

    You can rant away when things are difficult,family and friends don't alway understand, we do.

    Look forward to seeing you posting.

    Take care.
     
  3. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,912
    Male
    Bristol
    Hullo therr Dusty, my OH has had Vascular Dementia for about 4 years and this forum has been a source of support for a while. Sorry you had to join us.
     
  4. Jinx

    Jinx Registered User

    Mar 13, 2014
    2,333
    Pontypool
    Hi Dusty, welcome to TP also sorry you have had to join us but you'll get loads of help and support here. My husband has had Vas Dementia for several years but had a very sharp decline two years ago, he is 83 and moved into a care home two months ago when his mobility declined to such a point that I could no longer cope with moving him. xxx


    Sent from my iPad using Talking Point
     
  5. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Welcome dusty. You will find so many friends here who really understand what you are going through. Its great to know you are not alone.
     
  6. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Hi Dusty. My husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia 2 years ago although he had problems for years before that. Don't know what I would do without this forum so I hope you find it just as helpful.
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  7. Mal2

    Mal2 Registered User

    Oct 14, 2014
    2,968
    Enfield
    Hello Dusty,

    So sorry to hear your husband has been diagnosed with 'D'.

    You have come to the right place for help and support. I joined in 2014, and, have met such lovely people on here, (and, on 'Positives' which is the thread I mostly use). Although no two 'D' sufferers are the same. Whatever your problem of the day, someone, somewhere, has had the same experience and can connect with how you are feeling. So they will reply to you.

    My husband has had 'D' for 14 years, having deteriorated in the last 18 months, until then. our life was pretty much as it had always been.

    I am fortunate, he is still at home and I look after him. We still have good days, he has a wicked sense of humour, which pops up, and makes me laugh. So it is not all doom and gloom. Hopefully, you and hubby will lead a fairly normal life for many years to come.

    Welcome again. Love and hugs M xxx :)
     
  8. DustyAlfie246

    DustyAlfie246 Registered User

    Jan 6, 2016
    12
    Female
    Hampshire
    DustyAlfie246

    Hi thanks for replying to my post. Its early days yet and we are coming to terms with all this. Had tremendous help from Alzheimers Society with home visits etc to guide us to what is needed etc. My husband is not so bad at moment but future is uncertain. Have had to give up his car on Docs advice and I don't drive so we are getting used to public transport and occasional taxi services. How is your life going. Its so nice to "talk" to others about all of this. I welcome your reply. DustyAlfie246
     
  9. Izzy

    Izzy Volunteer Moderator

    Aug 31, 2003
    59,590
    Female
    Dundee
    Hi Dusty and welcome from me too.

    My mum had vascular dementia and my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 14 years ago. I know you will find this forum really helpful and supportive. I know I have.
     
  10. DustyAlfie246

    DustyAlfie246 Registered User

    Jan 6, 2016
    12
    Female
    Hampshire
    DustyAfie246

    Thanks for your kind post. This is all new to us and we are just coming to terms with it. Trying to be positive and live life as normal as possible at moment. We have had to give up our car on Docs orders and as I don't drive it is something else we have had to come to terms with. Local buses are quite good and we use the occasional taxi to stay mobile. I find it difficult that we don't know what the future holds or how long it will be before my husband becomes really ill. Thats frightening. We are both in our early 70s and are quite fit and have a dog which keeps us very active. I find the hardest thing is not to constantly check up on my husband and give him freedom to do his own thing. The docs have said to give him space to do his own thing, within reason. Once again thanks for replying. I hope we can "talk" again soon. DustyAlfie246
     
  11. DustyAlfie246

    DustyAlfie246 Registered User

    Jan 6, 2016
    12
    Female
    Hampshire
    DustyAlfie246

    Thank you for replying to my post. I welcome any help you can give me on Vascular Dementia. We are at the early stages but the future is uncertain. My husband had a stroke just before Christmas and that was when they told us that he had V Dementia. It was such a shock. He has had to give up his car on Docs orders and that was hard for him. The local buses are not bad and we are using the occasional taxi to stay mobile. We also have a dog which keeps us busy and active. I am having so much trouble giving my husband space to do his own thing as I want to keep checking up on him all the time and I know I shouldn't. How do you cope with that? He gets really cross with me bout it. Well I should stop rabbiting on. Once again thanks for contacting me Dusty
     
  12. nae sporran

    nae sporran Volunteer Host

    Oct 29, 2014
    5,912
    Male
    Bristol
    My OH had her vascular dementia diagnosis about a year after having a stroke and actually seemed to be making a reasonable recovery until a combination of UTIs and a fit / seizure tipped her into more significant dementia symptoms. I think that's the right term.

    Sorry to hear your husband does not like you checking up on him all the time, I actually have the opposite problem in that OH gets worried if I am not around for an hour or two. I suppose your dog is a lifeline in that it gives you an excuse to get out and clear your head for an while, disappearing off to the woods and fields with my camera and leaving OH with a music DVD has been good release.

    The only thing I can add is what a few people have told me which was to take every day as it comes. Keep in touch Dusty, Nae Sporran.
     
  13. Quilty

    Quilty Registered User

    Aug 28, 2014
    1,056
    GLASGOW
    Hello Dusty, i care for my mum who has had vascular dementia for around 10 years now. She has been in a care home for the last 9 months but lived life to the fill for the first 7 years.
    No two people are the same with this disease. Try to take it a day at a time. Dont try to predict the future but get all the routes for help and support set up. Also power of attorney and wills so you dont have legal problems. All bills and bank accounts in joint names. Then carry on regardless. Life is for living.
     
  14. esmeralda

    esmeralda Registered User

    Nov 27, 2014
    3,072
    Devon
    Lots of good advice on here Dusty, especially Quilty's last one about Power of Attorney etc.
    It's good you and your husband can get out together. Nobody ever knows what the future holds, so as others on here have said do make the most of every day. A lot of people 'sleepwalk' through their lives without knowing how precious time is.
    Everyone's journey is different so although I know it's really scary try to put your fears aside because you may be worrying about something that won't happen.
    Love and hugs, Es
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     

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