J M Wake

[J M Wake]

Hi ,It has been a while since I first posted. I was so touched by the responses that I received. My family have read them and feel the same. Things have worsened with mum. She still sees dad as a stranger who has come into her house and she dislikes him imensely. Up to today when i have taken her back home she realises that it is dad, but within a couple of hours she is back to my house or ringing in a state. Tonight has been the worst. She was in her nightclothes and trying to get out the house at 8.30. Dad locked the doors and obviously had to restain her a little to stop her. She was screaming when he phoned me and had been banging her shoe on the wall calling her neighbour. She got very agressive towards me too. My brother came and walked her around the block, but she still wanted that man out of the house. I spoke to the emergency doctor who told me to try her with more promazine. The problem with medication is that she won't take it! Not even Paracetamol and she doesn't have anu other medication. Dad puts it in her coffee in the morning but it doesn't always get drunk same with through the day. I couldn't quite imagine a doctor coming towards her with a needle!!! So Dad went to bed and we sat with her for half an hour. She wouldn't come back to my house and she wouldn't go to bed. So we have left her in the sitting room, and locked up - dad has the keys. Don't think i will sleep well tonight. will speak to psyco- geriatrist tommorrow.

 

[Amy]

Sorry that you have had such an awful evening - I can well imagine that you will not be getting a restful night. You have done all that you can though tonight, and tomorrow you will make the phone calls. Is there a time of day when mum is amenable and may be persuaded to take the medication? I was just wondering if she might accept the medication from a district nurse.
Mum is at a terrible stage of this illness - it is so difficult for all of you, especially your dad. It will pass.
Let us know how you get on tomorrow.
Love Helen

 

[mel]

Hi JM
sorry to hear you've had such a bad night .....can't really offer much advice but sounds like you need a big "virtual" hug
Take care....and try and get some rest if you can
Love xx

 

[Lynne]

Hi JM

I also would like to send a couple of heartfelt hugs for you & your Dad - you're obviously going through hell at the moment.
<<<Hug>>>
<<<Hug>>>

 

[J M Wake]

Thanks for your thoughts to me. Yesterday was the first time I cried..... after speaking with the specialist..... he wants to take mum in for assesment. Yesterday also was the best day she has had for several weeks, no other man in the house, calling dad by his christian name! Very calm, doing household chores....unbelievable. Consequently dad says leave it for now. I am going on holiday for a week, on Sunday and he wants to wait until I am back. What a quandry. We can't keep putting it off and although she has had a good day I don't think it will last. My brother is of the same opinion but we have agreed to see how things go over the next couple of days. Dad says she is worrying because she knows I am going away... she has never liked it when I have been on holiday... and thats why she is the way she is. He hasn't come to terms with the dementia yet. One of these days I will be able to give advise on T P! At present all I an do is pour out my heart. I have very good support from my church and my friends, also lots of prayer, but it is different talking to those who are going through it as well. Thank you. Jane

 

[Kathleen]

Hello Jane

I am sorry you are all going through such a tough time, as Amy says it will pass, but I remember my own Mum and Dad going through the same scenario as you are at the moment.

Dad was heartbroken when Mum was afraid of himr and they clung to each other when the recognition returned again. Once a definite diagnosis was made, he coped better with the illness, but never quite got over a niggling sense of embarrassment and shame that went with what he saw as a "mental illness."

Sadly, Dad died suddenly and Mum went into a home which in an awful way solved the problem, Mum settled really quickly without realising she was not with Dad any more, after 54 years of happy marriage, it broke our hearts, but she has been spared the grief and pain of losing him.

Strange how we learn to be thankful for things we would have raged against prior to AD.

I sincerely hope that your Mum gets over this awful time really soon, for all your sakes.

Kathleen

 

[dmc]

hello jane,

just wanted to say that i couldve written your post a few months back in fact i think i did!!
my mum also thought dad was a stranger and would turn up in my house terrified that there was a strange man in the house, this went on untill in the end we had to have her admitted to the EMI ward of the local hospital where her medication was reassesed and within a week she was back home, which was great but then she was seeing monkeys and donkeys which i had to put in my shed!!
hang on in there im sure it will pass usually to be replaced by something else, but not as distressing for your dad as her finding him a stranger, i know it devastated my dad
hope things work out
take care x

 

[May]

Hi Jane

Sending a <<hug>>, this was me six months ago, it's a horrible time. In our case we had to admit Mum to the emi ward as an emergency. You will get through this but your Mum sounds as though she needs a meds assesment, sharpish, and believe you me, it does work. Good luck and take care