• Expert Q&A: Rare dementias - Tues 3 March, 3-4pm

    Our next expert Q&A will be on the topic of rare dementias. It will be hosted by Nikki and Seb from Rare Dementia Support. If you have any questions about rare dementias, they will be here to answer them on Tuesday 3 March between 3-4pm.

    You can either post your question >here< or email them to us at talkingpoint@alzheimers.org.uk and we'll be happy to ask them on your behalf.

izzy

Annette

Registered User
Aug 27, 2003
5
Middlesex England
My husband has Parkinson's and LEWY Body Dementia,he just turned 81 this year and I am 44.I am finding things very hard to deal with I am stuck in grief,I keep getting sick myself.Its very hard to watch my husband deteriorate in front of my eyes each day. He is my soul mateI am having thoughts of suicide again and I dont know what to do???
 

Angela

Registered User
May 28, 2003
151
Wales
Hi Annette
It is very important that you get support through this difficult time.
Is your husband at home with you?
Please contact your local branch who may be able to offer you one on one support at home. You can find their details on the main web pages.
In the meantime, please keep in touch here. The very least we can do is try to support you by way of replies.
You have to stay well to ensure that your husband gets the best possible care that he can have through these times.
Stay strong. Best wishes
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,536
Dundee
Angela - I'm so sorry to hear what you're saying. It is good to hear from someone else who has a much older husband. I don't know how I'll cope when my husband gets worse. I know that I have to appreciate every day we have while he is still good. I don't know what to say to you other than my thoughts are with you.

Izzy
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
60,536
Dundee
Annette - I'm sorry -I called you Angela in my reply. I had just read Angela's reply.

Izzy
 

Angela

Registered User
May 28, 2003
151
Wales
Annette
How was your day?
Please go to see your GP and ask for his/her advise on getting the support YOU need, as well as contacting your local branch.
Your husband should have a social worker, who should assess him now that he is back home with you, tell them how you feel too. You do not have to cope alone.
Regards.
 

Anya

Registered User
Sep 11, 2005
7
East Sussex
Hi Annette

Hi Annette, just found your post, scanning through members' list. I agree with Angela, see your GP and tell him/her how you feel right now, this is so hard for you and your husband and you both need help, of different kinds. Don't forget your needs in all of this. get some help, and keep talking on this site, I had no idea there were so many people out there who are all experiencing similar, beginning of the journey and later stages of the journey. I find logging in just before I go to bed helps me to be calmer. Good Luck and keep in touch. anya
 

suem

Registered User
Jul 1, 2005
61
Worcestershire
You are not alone

Hi Annette

I am 51 and my husband 18 years older than me.He too has Parkinson's and Lewy Body so I understand what you are going through.you have both the metal and phyisical difficulties to deal with.It is very hard to watch the person you married turn into someone you no longer know.
You must seek help.It has taken several tormented years for my husband to allow us to get help.He did not want anyone else in our lives no matter what the level of help was. We have a wonderful GP who suggested to him that I needed some support and refered us to social services. They can offer lots of support.You don't need to take it but it is there if you need it.I had the carer's vouchers which allow me to have someone to sit with my husband while I go out. Now gradually he has accepted that to go on as we are we need some help.Remember you are a person also and as hard as it is,you need a life as well.
My emotions change over the day from anger as to what this illness as done to us.Waiting to kill him or me.Feeling sorry for him or just wanting to walk away and leave it all.I am sure you feel these also,remember there are folks on here that listening to you.
Sue
 

Brucie

Registered User
Jan 31, 2004
12,413
near London
My emotions change over the day from anger as to what this illness has done to us.Waiting to kill him or me. Feeling sorry for him or just wanting to walk away and leave it all. I am sure you feel these also, remember there are folks on here that listening to you.


We've probably all been there, or are there at present, so you're neither of you remotely alone.
 

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