I've just lost my grandfather

Amanda1983

New member
Nov 18, 2017
1
0
I have just lost my grandfather ideally don't know what I should do with myself. I'm lost. I'm supporting my mother through the loss of his death but getting about how I'm feeling. Any ideas? X
 

100 miles

Registered User
Apr 16, 2015
109
0
Amanda,

I am sorry to hear about your grandfather.

I think you should just do what feels right. Don't be afraid to talk about him to your mother or cry in front of her. And don't be afraid to be happy either.

Everybody is different and grief hits in different ways. In some ways the time between death and the funeral is the simplest time as there is so much to do. Afterwards people expect you to return to normal - when normal has changed.

Best wishes

100 miles
 

Izzy

Volunteer Moderator
Aug 31, 2003
74,002
0
72
Dundee
Hi and welcome from me too. I'm glad you've found the forum and have posted here about how you feel. I think it often helps to just get your thoughts down on paper.

Grief is different for everyone. I found that I just had to go with the flow as it were. Some days were (and are) worse than others.

Please keep posting here, I'm sure you'll get lots of support from people who have gone through this themselves.
 

Shedrech

Registered User
Dec 15, 2012
12,649
0
UK
hello @Amanda1983
welcome to TP
I am so sorry for the loss of your grandfather; such a sad time for your family
it's lovely of you to be supporting your mum, I'm sure she appreciates you
maybe helping your mum is your way of beginning to grieve - there's no one way to feel or behave after you lose a family member; each one of us finds our own way
maybe also allow your mum to support you, she'll maybe want to stay strong for you, let her know she doesn't have to
100 miles is right; it's fine to chat about your grandfather and share memories of the times you all shared which may bring tears or laughter
when my mum died, I found a lovely photo of her smiling and waving; I put it in a frame and placed it where I saw it every day - I couldn't help but smile back at her and wave - silly, but it felt as though she was helping me through
 

sunray

Registered User
Sep 21, 2008
1,486
0
East Coast of Australia
It is hard to lose someone you love. As you also helped your Mum in her caring role it is probably harder for you too. I know you will support your Mum and I hope others will realise that you are feeling the loss and support you too. One of my grandchildren expressed his loss by saying how "unfair" it was when my husband Ray, his grandfather, died and then he burst into tears as did I and we comforted each other. We all feel the loss in that situation so feel free to grieve in your own way and in your own time.

Sue.