No, your not. I have a son with schizophrenia and have never forgiven someone who made a joke that with schizophrenia you meet someone new every day, insensitive in the extreme and quite uneccesary.
I can forgive those who find it hard to talk about his problems and /or my mums problems, but not someone who would deliberatly mock the situation
i completely agree. i spent a summer with two (fully grown adults) who -despite knowing about the situation- kept refering to their daughters boyfrind "don't worry about him Suzanna - he's Alzheimers".........grrrrr....... and then the other day on Facebook i found several groups about "people with Alzheimers" from teenagers who think it's appropriate to describe getting drunk and forgetting things as having Alzheimers. needless to say, i got on my soap box and had words with them.... suddenly a young fun-loving 23 year old has become a winging old bag..... when did that happen!!?
I feel the same way, before my Dad had even been diagnosed I had discussed it with my sister in law who is a nurse. She agreed that my Dad probably had dementia & then a week or so later went on to send me a joke e-mail about Alzheimer's.
I am not sure if it was because she forwarded it to everyone in her address book without thinking I was also included or because she is a nurse she took a more relaxed attitude and sent it to me it.
If I had opened the wine she might have got a very rude reply, I restrained myself & deleted it.
No, you're not getting worse, Mark. You are sensitive because of the situation you're in, I'd feel the same. I don't know if it's a peculiarly British thing to laugh at dreadful things as a coping mechanism, but it amazed me how many jokes were going around straight after 9/11 and when other dreadful events have happened.
Main thing is, it's not YOU.
I work in an office of mostly young people.When my mum went in to hospital in february i had a breakdown & had to take time of work.My manager was told about my problems but i wasnt sure what anyone else knew.Well a week ago i was at work when my colleges started joking about a customer who had ad & one of them said,'imagine if your mum didnt recognise you?' everyone laughed!You can imagine how i felt,i wanted to shout MY MUM HAS AD & SHE DOESNT RECOGNISE ME! but i was frozen to the spot & i didnt say anything.I find myself becoming more & more isolated from people as nobody can understand what i am going through.I have learnt yuo have to have a thick skin because there are a lot of insensitive & ignorant people out there.
I was in a situation once where someone made a joke after a memory lapse that maybe they had Alzheimer's. I politely enquired if they were doubly incontinent and were unable to feed themselves. They soon shut up!
Obviously I know that not everyone with AS is in as bad a state as I described, but my Mum is, and I needed to make it clear to them how serious AS is.
I know, I haven't come across alzheimer's jokes, but would definitely be upset if i did.
I think it is a British thing to make jokes about taboo subjects, and there were masses of dark jokes at a human rights organization I worked in. Some people use it as a kind of stress release, but I think it really isn't meant in a 'nasty' way. Of course it is upsetting for certain people and I know just how bad it can be if you are feeling sensitive. I think it can feel a bit like being rude about family...it seems totally ok to make jokes about your own family, but the minute someone from 'outside' does the same you feel outrage. You may sound flippant and as if you don't care, but when someone is apparently rude about a loved one (with whom they may have no close connection)it makes the blood boil (or the tears flow!).
I don't honestly know whether 'rising above it' or confronting head on is better.
I use to take my two eldest children to Hammersmith Hospital each week where they played with terminally ill children. This was a valuable lesson for them. If they saw a disabled person they never stared nor made any remark. As they grew up My daughter would come and help out with people with disabilities at the local youth club.
Now I am disabled and yes the blue badge system, when people who are abled bodied park in the disabled places it really makes me angry. If they want that parking place - let them have the disability. With my Grandchildren, when they see people parked in a disabled bay they remark, I hope they do not know what it is like to be disabled. On one occassion, in front of Peter a b***dy stupid woman came up to me and she knew he had A.D. and asked me how long before I put him in a home. Peter could understand a little of what was said. I really wanted to give her one big punch in the face. To make matters worse this is one of my young grandson's other grandmother. I did not like her before but after that I really hated her. Then she had the cheek to tell my daughter, I have upset your mum but I will send a donation to the Alzheimer's Society!!!!