I've got 2 weeks to find live in care for my dad or court of protection gets involved

[Moonflower]

A friend of mine had live in care for her aunt and it wasn't a success. I think, to be honest, it would be difficult for you to organise and monitor it at a distance.
You would need a team of live in carers, not just one person, and it doesn't sound as if he will easily accept staff living in his home
I know its hard but in your situation I'd be looking at suitable care homes - maybe one nearer to you so you could visit more easily.
You aren't forcing him into a care home, dementia and social services are...

 

[lemonjuice]

. . . .
You aren't forcing him into a care home, dementia and social services are...

On the other hand, perhaps that's what you need to do, find temporary daily carers to demonstrate how inadequate such a measure is?

I know when my mother came out of hospital, the person dealing with discharge insisted she have 24 hour care. Because it was her birthday in a couple of days time I asked if I could take her home with such care in place, before looking at other options. Fortunately I was able to continue doing teh day care as I had befoe and I managed to find an agency to do the overnight stints- yes that is the very expensive part.

After a couple of days it became obvious to me that mother no longer recognise dher own home, or even where the toilet was, despite having pictures on all the doors/ furniture from before. So I reluctantly had to contact a Home and my mother was able to access some fo the 28 day post-hospital paid convalescent care. After a month she was still no better.

O appreciate it will be very difficult for you to watch, but may be the only way to convince SS services their demands are unsuitable?

 

[nitram]

"O appreciate it will be very difficult for you to watch, but may be the only way to convince SS services their demands are unsuitable?"

Although the thread title reads as if SS are insisting on live in care post 6 says they are insisting on 24 hour care
[highlight]SS had a meeting last week and have told me he either has to have 24 hour care or they will go to CoP and put him in a home.[/highlight]
which they have a duty to do if they consider the current arrangement to be unsafe.

 

[Beate]

SS are not demanding anything other than the person with dementia is being made safe, either through 24 hour live in care or a care home. That's their job, and nothing about it is unsuitable or inadequate. The OP has to decide on an option - doing nothing would be inadequate.

 

[t0ria]

Thanks everyone, as you will all know this is a very confusing time, and obviously there is no "one size fits all" option as everyone's situation is so unique.

I'm going to contact an advocate tomorrow and hopefully that will help

 

[missmole]

What an incredibly stressful time you are having. For what it's worth, I have just started using live-in care for my mother. She did have carers going in to make her lunch each day. She is a very private person and she didn't like this at all (this situation started in January) and it was confusing with different carers coming in and out.
A few weeks ago she started wandering off, leaving front door open, locking herself out, becoming terrified of the dark, not sleeping well, waking up in the night etc. She is unable to use the phone and so I decided that she had to have live-in care.
It is eye-wateringly expensive at about £1,250 a week. They were able to organise care quite quickly and we are lucky to have someone who will do 6 weeks care and then 2 weeks break (when another carer will come). Usually carers do a rota of 2 weeks on 2 weeks off. The carer is absolutely delightful. I was able to video skype her beforehand to see if I liked her. My worry is that she won't be able to cope with my mother long term because of the night wanderings but she insists that she is used to this and dealing with dementia behaviour. We will see. My mother does like the carer which is surprising given my mother's general dislike of having people in her house. She is sometimes very anxious when I see her and other times she is fine but to be honest that's what she was like before the carer started. At least I don't have to worry about her safety but I am not sure how sustainable it is. It is a huge task for a carer to manage on their own full time, even with me visiting 3 times a week. However, if it means my mum can stay in her own home for a bit longer it is worth it. Good luck - I have every sympathy.