ive brought my mam home from hospital to die in my home

Discussion in 'ARCHIVE FORUM: Support discussions' started by jackson, May 12, 2011.

  1. littlegem

    littlegem Registered User

    Nov 11, 2010
    north Wales
    Thinking of you all and praying for you,
  2. piedwarbler

    piedwarbler Registered User

    Aug 3, 2010
    South Ribble
    Thinking of you Maureen xxxx
  3. sharina

    sharina Registered User

    Mar 17, 2010
    Your mam

    I guess in your sister's world (which appears an odd place) she feels that she has done her duty.What comes across is that she is not viewing your mother as a human being any more.Every one knows that people dying can hear and understand.I don't really think I would like to be her.Just feel sorry for her. She is missing out.

    I always think of the last few conversations I had with my mum.There were moments of great insight in between period of mutterings.I am glad I had those.I remember reading "The Lords My Shepherd" and my mother put her hand on the text and smiled.Just seeing your mother so briefly seems so hollow and sad.

    I guess you and your partner are on their own for this one. I hope you have good friends who live nearby who can become your substitute family and do shopping for you etc.Do accept offers of help.

    I am glad that your mother is peaceful.Things did not go so well for my mum.At least you can have the satisfaction in knowing that your mum's last journey has so far been dignified and calm.
  4. fredsnail

    fredsnail Registered User

    Dec 21, 2008
    I hope tonight is another peaceful one for you and your Mam.

    I'm sorry that your sisters visit wasn't so good - but I'm glad your nephew is coming again.
  5. Goingitalone

    Goingitalone Registered User

    Feb 11, 2010
    Still thinking of you and your family, Maureen. Wishing you a peaceful night.

  6. flowerpot

    flowerpot Registered User

    Hi, I haven't been on here for a while and have just caught up with your thread. What a wonderful thing you and your partner are doing for your Mam. Sorry to hear that your sisters visit wasn't too good but unfortunately we all have or most of us have unsupportive relatives. Just remember that you will have the best memories and will be able to know that you did everything that was possible to keep your Mam happy and content in her final days. Loads of love and support winging its way to you and your partner. Take care xxxxx(HUG)xxxxx
  7. jackson

    jackson Registered User

    hi flowerpot,thanku for your kind comments.my mams had nother peaceful night and appears to be comfy this morning.

    I mentioned to district nurse yesterday about mams rght hand and fingers being discoloured,and she agreed with me that it was infact very poor circulation,which apparently is expected at this stage,she also informed me that my mams body is probably now in "Shut Down"

    We put our nice long warm fleecey fishing socks on mams hands lastnight and her feet,and this morning she was like toast.i've taken them off since washing mam this morning,and i've elevated mams hands on to a pillow,to try and help the situation.

    My nephew came yesterday to see mam,which i was very pleased about.maureen
  8. DozyDoris

    DozyDoris Registered User

    Jan 27, 2009
    Hi Maureen

    I love the photo of your Mum, she looks a very vibrant lady. Does she have a little massage of her hands? If I were nearer she could borrow my bean bag microwave dog to snuggle, he's great, although it looks a bit disturbing watching him going round in the microwave:eek: I also do a good line in slobbery labs!!!!!:D Benson would happily provide everyone in site with a free wash:rolleyes:
    Lots of love
    Jane xx
  9. florence43

    florence43 Registered User

    Jul 1, 2009
    Hi Jackson,

    I've been following your thread and think of you often. You sound so peaceful and caring. It's certainly sad, but handled with such dignity. The photo of your mum is lovely. What a beautiful lady.

    I hope she continues to be comfortable, and may I send you strength for the days ahead.

    Best wishes,
  10. jackson

    jackson Registered User

    hi jane,thanku for the compliments about my mams photo,she used to be a very vibrant lady.i do try and massage my mams hands regularly to try to keep circulation flowing.

    It is very very kind of u to offer to lend my mam your beanbag microwave dog to snuggle,i can imagine how disturbing he must look going round the turntable in the microwave.our dog has given my mam lots of licks and plenty of free washes at that.
  11. jackson

    jackson Registered User

    hi florence,thanku for showing an interest in my thread,and its really nice of u to be thinking of us.my mams, mam was called "florence"and my mam named one of my sisters "florence"after her own mam.mam still appears to be peaceful and comfortable,the district nurse has been out for their morning visit to change mams dressing on pressure sore,and she feels now that she needs to come out twice a day to monitor mams dressing,as there has been some new leakage.
    mam has not shown any signs of pain or distress,which i find absolutely amazing.thanku for sending me strength for the days ahead,i know we will all need extra strength for the future days.maureen
  12. burfordthecat

    burfordthecat Registered User

    Jan 9, 2008
    Hi Jackson

    I've been following your thread from the beginning but until now have not posted. I take my hat off to you and your partner. The love and commitment which you are giving to your mum is endless. I honestly don't think there is a greater gift you could give to her.

    I hope that your mum's journey continues to be calm and without pain.

    Love Carina x x
  13. RosmaryW

    RosmaryW Registered User

    Jul 12, 2010
    Cornwall UK
    Now I have mopped up my tears from reading your thread I can see to type again. I just want to say that I think you and your partner are just wonderfully kind people, Pity there aren't more like you in the world.
    I send all my very best wishes to you and your Mam. Rose.X
  14. shells123

    shells123 Registered User

    Oct 19, 2010
    Hi Jackson I have been reading your threads every night and my admiration for you and your partner is beyond words. I hope your mum is peaceful my love and hugs to you all. Shells xx
  15. littlegem

    littlegem Registered User

    Nov 11, 2010
    north Wales
    Hello jackson,
    I hope you and your lovely family and especially your dear Mum are well.

    Wishing you all a peaceful night.
    Take care and God bless.
  16. Goingitalone

    Goingitalone Registered User

    Feb 11, 2010
    Hi Maureen,

    Your Mum sounds so peaceful and comfortable.

    Thinking of you tonight and wishing you all well for tonight and the days ahead.

    Big hugs,

  17. jennifer_eccles

    jennifer_eccles Registered User

    Apr 4, 2011
    A hug for your mum

    Sad sisters visit didn't go well, maybe she's happy with her own guilt now. What a fab nephew you have. You're always in my thoughts and as ever a kiss for your mum xxxx
  18. Dollychris

    Dollychris Registered User

    Feb 3, 2011
    South Wales
    Caring for your Mam

    What a wonderful thing to do for your Mam. I understand how you feel because our family is not happy with how my Mum has coped in the care home and she is coming home on the 7th of June. My sister is bringing her home to her house and we are all behind her and admire her so much. She will have our full support and it is such a pity that you do not have the same from your family.
    Dementia is something we never ever considered would affect our Mum as we have taken care of her until last December when she had a fall and was taken to hospital. We knew things weren't right but when vascular dementia was diagnosed we were shocked. At 84 years of age we presumed Mum would end her days in her own home.She has not been eating and isn't at all happy so she too is coming home to be cared for and we are so grateful to our sister who made the decision to take her into her own home. Despite being tiny Mum has a strong constitution and we hope she will be with us for years to come.
    What you have done is wonderul and I hope that your darling Mam will have a peaceful, dignified end feeling safe and secure in such a loving atmosphere. Bless you both and don't waste time worrying about others who feel they have a right to interfere with your plans for your Mam.
    Love to you both and your dear Mam.
    Take care of yourselves too though!
  19. elaine n

    elaine n Registered User

    Jun 1, 2010
    west country uk
    Thinking of you tonight Maureen and John and of course your mum I hope things are still calm and peaceful for you all xxxxxxxe
  20. Goingitalone

    Goingitalone Registered User

    Feb 11, 2010
    We're still thinking of you and John and your lovely Mam Maureen.

    Wishing you another peaceful night and bags of strength to carry on the wonderful thing you're doing.

    God bless and BIG HUGS,


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