ive brought my mam home from hospital to die in my home

jackson

Registered User
Jun 28, 2009
260
0
scarborough north yorkshire
hi to all of you brave carers out there.i havent been on site for quite a while,due to massive problems in my mams care health issues etc.
my mam was admitted to hospital just over a month ago from carehome with renal failure,if i had'nt of called the doctor once again my mam would have died on that day,one month ago.

the carehome was closed once again to public rota virus,i couldnt even see my mam on mothers day,due to closure of home to the public.

i recieved a call from carehome into the second week of the carehome being closed to inform me that mam had a fall,i was informed by carer that mam was o.k. a couple of hours later i got another call mam had another fall,i told carer i am coming to home to see mam,wether they closed to public or not.

i arrived with clear soup in flask for mam which she ate hesitantly,but i managed to feed her approx 5 dessertspoonsful,which i think she enjoyed.i called doctor and doc diagnosed mam with severe dehydration and low blood pressure,apparently mam did not have rota virus symptoms.

mam was admitted to hospital early hours april 10th with renal failure,after a long haul mam was eventually back up on her feet again,mam was supposed to be discharged 2 weeks ago,but she had a fall in hospital and suffered a stroke and clot on the brain,since that time monday 2nd may,mam has not responded,has not opened her eyes or spoken apart from one word on tuesday 3rd may,she spoke my name "Maureen"whilst i was combing her hair.

I was elated when mam spoke my name i thought she was on road to recovery,but sadly realised later that mam was not on the road to recovery.

doctor at hospital asked me where mam would like to be when she dies,he asked me would mam rather be at home than in hospital.

I have brought my mam home to my house on tuesday 10th may,and am now caring for my mam with my partner john.

mam has still not responded,mam does however,seem to be very comfortable at my home and seems to be sleeping very very peacefully.

i was advised by doctor at hospital that mam would not last long,as the fluids have been stopped and all the administration of drugs in hospital.however,i have been given a pack of 4 key drugs which may be administered if mam seems to be suffering in pain at any time.

the doctor has informed us of the Liverpool pathway care of dying.

I have requested that the reverand of st.mary's church visits us today to see mam.

the phrase "The eyes are the windows of the soul"is such a true saying,i have always known this phrase,but,never really thought about it indepth until 2nd May which is the time that mam closed her eyes after stroke and fall in hospital.

myself and my partner are still encouraging and trying to stimulate mam by singing her favourite songs, playing mams favourite music,and hopefully mam can also hear our parakeet chirping away in the background.

We are sleeping beside mams bed on camp beds,as we wish to re-assure mam that we are there by her side at all times.

When the time comes which we think may be soon,we have been instructed to call mcmillan nurse and support team to administer these 4 key drugs to mam.

we are trying very hard to stay strong for mam,but in the meantime we still have a family feud going on in the background,this so called family are the sons and daughters whom disowned mam nearly 4 years ago,due to the dementia.

At that time myself and my partner took mam in to our own home to help mam as the so called family whom had disowned mam had also abandoned mam and threatened that they were going to get mam locked up and certified and throw the key away.

I am so angry to think that this so called family whom have never bothered all this time about mam are now all crawling out of the woodwork.

At least i know that myself and my partner have done our very very best for mam within the last 4 years and i know mam appreciates this and i think thats why mam said my name,and has not spoken since or opened her eyes.

Sadness grows in our home minute by minute,but we know that mam is happy here in our own home with us.

take care all of you and thankyou for all your support.
maureen and john
 

littlegem

Registered User
Nov 11, 2010
837
0
north Wales
What a brave thing for you and your hubby to do.
It is without a doubt what your Mum would have wanted.
I hope she stays peaceful for your sakes and her own.
God bless you all.
xxxx
 

Nan2seven

Registered User
Apr 11, 2009
2,525
0
Dorset
Dear Maureen,
I am full of admiration for you and John for what you are doing.
May your dear mum remain peaceful while with you.
I am sure she is reassured by your constant presence.
Thinking of you all and sending love,
Nan XXX
 

jackson

Registered User
Jun 28, 2009
260
0
scarborough north yorkshire
dear nan2seven thanku for message,it means a lot to us,u people on this site whom we have never met,mean more to us and my mam as a family,than the bunch of so called family that are crawling out of the woodwork.
 

rainbowblush

Registered User
Aug 6, 2010
32
0
NE England
What a wonderful thing for a daughter to do for her mother.
I admire you enormously and hope things remain serene and calm for you and your family.
xxxxxx
 

jackson

Registered User
Jun 28, 2009
260
0
scarborough north yorkshire
What a wonderful thing for a daughter to do for her mother.
I admire you enormously and hope things remain serene and calm for you and your family.
xxxxxx

hi rainbowblush,
thanku for message,i do hope you are right about things remaining serene and calm for mam and us and family,i doubt if family will keep calm and serene,as all they are interested in is being on a power trip.
 

jackson

Registered User
Jun 28, 2009
260
0
scarborough north yorkshire
hi kassy,thanku so much for your kind words,i can remember when you had all the problems to deal with your lot turning their backs on you and your mum,i remember specifically because i thought at the time you were in a very similar situation to us regarding problems with siblings.

I agree with you Kassy that we are definately much better worthy people than all of them,i have very strong principles which i believe in when it comes to the road of life,and you are also right Kassy that they are unimportant now,they have had their chance to become involved in mams life but did'nt want to know.

thankyou once again Kassy and take care.
Maureen and John
 
Last edited by a moderator:

creativesarah

Registered User
Apr 22, 2010
9,638
0
Upton Northamptonshire
bless you Jackson at this painful time,
I am sure when other members of your family are plagued by regret that you will be at peace knowing you have done your best
Much grace luv and prayers Sarah
 

jackson

Registered User
Jun 28, 2009
260
0
scarborough north yorkshire
bless you Jackson at this painful time,
I am sure when other members of your family are plagued by regret that you will be at peace knowing you have done your best
Much grace luv and prayers Sarah

hi sarah,thanku for message,i hope you are right about other members of family will be plagued by their own consciences, that is of course if any of them have such a thing as a conscience?

We know we have done our best and more,we know we can hold our head up and be proud of what we have achieved for my mam.
 

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
81,443
0
Kent
What a wonderful thing for you both to do for your mother Maureen and John.
It sounds so safe and secure for your mother and I hope she feels the love from both of you.
 

jackson

Registered User
Jun 28, 2009
260
0
scarborough north yorkshire
What a wonderful thing for you both to do for your mother Maureen and John.
It sounds so safe and secure for your mother and I hope she feels the love from both of you.

hi Grannie G,thankyou for your lovely words,i'm sure you are right, i also think that my mam feels very safe and secure and re-assured here in our nice comfortable peaceful home,and i know my mam definitely feels the strength of our love from both of us.

I know if it were the other way around my mam would have done the same for me.

I have requested the minister to call to see my mam and hold a service here in our home,the church is very appropriately named St.Mary's,which is also my mams name (Mary)

I took my mam to the same church at christmas where we attended the candlelit carol service,and my mam was elated at that time to hear the hand bell ringers,which were seated beside myself and my mam.I will never forget that special service at St.Mary's with my mam.
 

Christin

Registered User
Jun 29, 2009
5,038
0
Somerset
Dear Jackson, I am full of admiration at the care, love and devotion you are giving to you mam. You will know for sure that you have done everything you possibly can for her. My very best wishes to you all xx
 

bucko

Registered User
Jan 28, 2009
785
0
Widnes
I've brought my mam home from hospital to die

Maureen and John. My Mum was brought home from hospital to die in February of this year which was her wish. Fortunately all her family were around her at all times and all where with her when she died, except me, as I had to stay with John, However I had said my goodbye in the afternoon. It is lovely what you are doing, playing music, and talking to her, letting her know you are with her. I am sure you will treasure every single moment and I sincerely hope that her passing is peaceful and that you and John remain strong for each other.

My thoughts are with you both. God bless.

June x
 

jackson

Registered User
Jun 28, 2009
260
0
scarborough north yorkshire
Dear Jackson, I am full of admiration at the care, love and devotion you are giving to you mam. You will know for sure that you have done everything you possibly can for her. My very best wishes to you all xx

dear christin,
thankyou for message,and thanku for your kind words,we know we are giving my mam the very very best of care and devotion, and i do feel that we are doing everything possible to help and assist mam,and i'm sure mam knows this,we think we have saw mam smile a few times at us whilst we have been talking to her.
The most special thing of all is mam saying my name over a week ago,but i will never ever forget that moment.
 

jackson

Registered User
Jun 28, 2009
260
0
scarborough north yorkshire
Maureen and John. My Mum was brought home from hospital to die in February of this year which was her wish. Fortunately all her family were around her at all times and all where with her when she died, except me, as I had to stay with John, However I had said my goodbye in the afternoon. It is lovely what you are doing, playing music, and talking to her, letting her know you are with her. I am sure you will treasure every single moment and I sincerely hope that her passing is peaceful and that you and John remain strong for each other.

My thoughts are with you both. God bless.

June x

hi june,thanku for your lovely kind considerate words,you yourself i'm sure can appreciate and understand what we are doing for my mam,and yes june we are treasuring every moment,i'm sure myself and john will have each others strength to cope.
 

Jo1958

Registered User
Mar 31, 2010
3,724
0
Yorkshire
Maureen and John, hello
You are very special people doing a very special thing for your mum, I really admire your actions and attitude.
I hope that the visit from your church goes well and peace continues to surround you all.
With kind regards from Jo
 

lin1

Registered User
Jan 14, 2010
9,350
0
East Kent
Dear Jackson
My heart goes out to you, not only with sadness for you and your Mum also gladness that your Mum is home with you surrounded by your obvious love and care for her.

Dont concern yourself about those people who are coming out of the woodwork, dont even give them a second thought, they are not worth upsetting yourself over
We have a saying in my family,God pays his debts without money

I hope your mums passing is as peaceful and serene as my mums was
 

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