I've been handed a lifeline


Registered User
May 20, 2009
Oh goodness Elaine,

I am so pleased to hear your good news.
Having time to yourself to recharge your batteries. So very important.

Did Chris mention having your camera ready?:D What a girl :D

I am really pleased for you.

xxxx x


Registered User
Sep 7, 2009
Such good news Elaine, i hope that Gary and yourself get the max from your timeout:)

Look forward to hearing how you spend your time, well not every minute, obviously, but you have waited so long that i can sense your excitement, don't worry if it's just mundane stuff you do, the value will be in actually being able to get on and do it, enjoy.



Registered User
Jul 20, 2008
Hi Elaine,

This is brilliant news. I am thrilled for you. Make the most of it. I know what you mean though about "what shall I do with the time?". I often never knew what to do with it but it really didn't matter. What mattered was the the responsibility was shared for those times during the week.


elaine n

Registered User
Jun 1, 2010
west country uk
I could do with it today - I'd go back to bed!:( I seem to have been up most of the night last night. I've threatened to superglue his bum to the bed tonight!!!:D He laughed, thank goodness!:D


Registered User
Mar 31, 2010
Elaine, hi
When is your first session, I hope it's soon as now it's been offered you must be so ready for it to start.

I couldn't wait for the cogs to grind so I found and paid for a sitter privately, mainly to start the process of finding the right person/people who hubby got on with and was happy to share time with.

Fingers crossed that it works really well for you both, superglue is hard to get out of the bedding!
Cheers, Jo

elaine n

Registered User
Jun 1, 2010
west country uk
Hi Jo
First one's on Tuesday, can't wait but will probably hang around for a bit at first to make sure Gary's comfortable with it all. I imagine it could feel scarey being left with a stranger initially


Registered User
May 19, 2010
West Yorks
That makes sense Elaine:) You need to make sure Gary's settled or else you'd fret for a couple of hours and that would be a waste of the little time you have:rolleyes:;)

Good luck, hope eveything is OK. I'm sure you must be a bit nervous but soon you'll get into the routine then as you say the world is your oyster:rolleyes: not exactly but you'll be free for a while! :):) Keep us posted:D x


Registered User
Mar 31, 2010
Elaine, hi
I lurked upstairs trying to read a book while sitting on the stairs for the first visit, after about half an hour I heard music and laughter so went out into the garden and pulled up some weeds :) I didn't want to be with them but did want to make sure all was well.

I'll be thinking of you on Tuesday, I'll be out and about from 2-4pm :)
Cheers, Jo


Registered User
Apr 4, 2011
sitting service

I have been offered 2 hours per week, I have switched to direct payment which means the £16.80 per hour is paid to me and I found a company which charge just over £11 an hour so now I can get three hours just for an extra £2 or even save it and have longer hours off in a single go.
I have also asked for mums respite care as a direct payment so I can do the respite at home so her routine will not be messed with and insecurities and paranoia be controlled. Last time she went into respite she came home hallucinating, a uti and an impacted bowel. Also she now has no bottom teeth walking stick or glasses and even 4 months on they still have not been returned. Most agencies will quote for a sleep in or waking night depending on needs and easy to arrange the the direct payment my SW has done it for me. Direct payments will mean you will have the freedom to get care to revolve around you and not anyone else. Good luck:) this link can tell you more http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/CaringForSomeone/MoneyMatters/DG_10018517

Grannie G

Volunteer Moderator
Apr 3, 2006
Hello Elaine

I found this entry for you.

Our first carer
Dhiren was tired this morning.
It took him a long time to dress himself, and when he did, his trousers were back to front and his belt was off centre so he had to start all over again. So even though he accepted some help, he was very tired.

He was dozing when the carer came but I was able to introduce her before he dropped off, giving us an opportunity to get acquainted.
She kept to her brief about doing the housework, helped me change the bed and wiped round the kitchen.

I had intended to go to the High Street while she was here but Dhiren was still asleep at 11 o`clock and I wasn`t sure what to do.
She encouraged me to go out and said she`d clean the bathroom and toilet while I was out.

When I came home Dhiren was waking and the house was lovely. It was half past eleven and I thought she`d wind down then, but no, she asked if she could vac and dust the living room where Dhiren was sitting. So in she went, I stepped back and joy of joys heard chatting. He was fine with her.

We were both pleased.

After she`d gone, Dhiren was impressed.
He said, `She doesn`t dust like you do. She moves things.`



Registered User
Aug 24, 2010
North Yorkshire
Well done ! ! !

Hello Elaine , Congratulations on having a " Sitter " :) & extra help for you & Gary , it will be lovely for you Elaine to have some " Me Time " , try a new hobby or as you say take more Photo's ( to go on Chris's Thread ;):) )

Do hope it all goes well in the "Early Days " & you start to enjoy your free time :) ! !

Best Wishes to you & Gary


Grove x x x


Registered User
Mar 25, 2009
Excellent news Elaine!

Fingers crossed that Tuesday goes well. Our local carers group has a bookclub one afternoon a week. I could never go to it because I was at work when it was on, but I would have appreciated the chance to meet new people who knew what I was going through. But I'm sure you'll find your own way to using the time. It doesn't take long for people to just drift away, does it? Time to meet new people I think, just to give you a different perspective.

Look forward to hearing how it goes,

Love and hugs,

Sue, xxx